Pete quotes from Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place

Pete

Where did you get that thing anyway?

Pete

Nah, I don't want to save one of those guys.

Pete

(to Johnny) Hey, you're a big guy, go out onto the ice.

Pete

Oh great, so you're the hero and I'm what, the stewardess.

Pete

Great, now your wallet's out there.

Pete

Oh really, Where were you last night?

Pete

Your mother's? What were you doing there?

Pete

So, if I was to call her right now, she'd back up your story.

Pete

Your Mom?

Pete

Well Ashley, am I going to be the father of Satan's spawn?

Berg

Why can't you just let me be happy?

Pete

Because it's not fair to the rest of us!

Sharon

What's up with him?

Berg

He's breaking up with Melissa.

Sharon

Good.

Pete

What? I thought you liked her.

Sharon

I lied!

Berg

I didn't want you blaming me for screwing up the rest of your life, so I went over there to get you two back together!

Pete

And?!

Berg

And she never wants to see you again!

Berg

Hey! Come watch women's softball with me today.

Pete

Hey! I gotta go to class! You see, Berg, we can't all be Philosophy majors.

Berg

It's not my fault a bunch of guys in sandals did my homework for me four thousand years ago.

Pete

You triple-majored in undergrad and you never even opened a book!

Berg

That's the wonder of me!