(to Sharon about Ted) My God! See, first he's got you wearing scarves, then he's got you eating vegetables, next thing you know it's "Come on Sharon, let's smoke some crack".
“Two Guys, a Girl and a Guy” · Season 1
In this episode: Berg (11), Pete (11), Sharon Carter (3), Bill (2)
Guys' night out.
I'm a guy!
You lost your guy rights when you put on the scarf.
We sit on the upper deck and when the guy says, "This is where Paul Revere took his midnight ride," we both yell, "Yeah! On your Mom!"
Exercising the First Amendment.
When I do that bit with Sharon, people laugh. When I did it alone, they said, "Honey, move away from that man."
I love Melissa, just not at a Celtic game, you know? I mean every time they miss a shot, she says, "It's gonna be okay sweetie."
What does Sharon do?
Ah well, Sharon screams, "Hey! You make 7 million a year. Make the (Berg slams the pizza paddle on the counter)-ing shot!"
Oh Berg, no more medical experiments.
Just remember my eyedrop experiment paid for that couch.
Hey, Berg? What color would you say that couch is?
(squinting at the grey couch.) I don't know...blue!
Sharon hasn't been around all week, so I couldn't score stamps.
Oh. Oh well, listen...I'll give you the name of her connection. The post office!
Oh-ho-ho-kay! Trumpet swans, Big Brothers, soda? Come on!
Don't let him suck you in! Anyone with a yard this nice has to have something buried underneath.
Berg? Berg, do you notice something different about our Sharon?
No, nothing. Except that somebody gift-wrapped her neck.
I gotta get to work.
Work? Or is Ted whisking you away to Scarf Warehouse?
Or House of Scarves.
Scarf Depot!
Jiffy Scarves!
BSBerg's Sneakers
Nothing can stop you! You're a winner!
8:40! Firm arch support and emotional support.
I never thought I'd say this, but-- Mr. Bauer makes sense. (Berg looks confused.) Not that we're pods!
We're gonna have to be--
No, no-no-no, don't say it!
--mature.
Oh, there, you said it.
I got stamps. Legends of the Rodeo: a thirty-two cent salute to a bygone era.
What's wrong with you?
Thanks a lot! I had a perfectly good boyfriend and you guys had to go turn him into a husband!
We were being mature!
Well, I'm not ready to be mature! I'm not done being friends with you guys yet.
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