Dr Pranjeep quotes from Two and a Half Men

[About Charlie's test results] It's fine, you are perfectly healthy 50 year old man.

Charlie

I'm only 40.

Tell that to your liver.

Alan

[Outside Charlie's hospital room] You doctors better help him fast! That's my brother in there! If he dies I'm homeless! [Enters Charlie's room] They're coming soon.

Charlie

[Who thinks he is going to die] Alan I need you to know something about my will. I left the house to you and Jake.

Alan

Yes!!.... You're going to live

Charlie

Yeah, just in case I don't, it has two mortgages and the land costs $50,000 a year.

Alan

So what you're saying is...

Charlie

It's a house of cards, Alan.

Alan

Uh huh. [Steps outside] Do you need to go to Canada to get some decent medical care! Alright you doctors, I didn't wanna have to play this card but I am Matthew Broderick!

Oh Matthew Broderick, I loved you in Family Business! [Enters Charlie's room]]

Alan

[Outside the hospital's emergency room] Damn it! What kind of a hospital is this? Where the hell are the doctors? That's my brother in there! If he dies, I'M HOMELESS! [Enters the emergency room] Uhh...everything's fine. They're just gonna run some tests. Not to worry.

Charlie

[Who thinks he is going to die] Easy for you to say. Listen, Alan, if I don't make it, you need to know about my will.

Alan

Hey, I don't want to hear that kind of talk, you're gonna make it, but...go on, finish what you were saying.

Charlie

First of all, I left the house to you and Jake.

Alan

Yes!! [Charlie looks at him].... you're gonna make it!

Charlie

Just so you know, there's two mortgages on it and the property taxes are $50,000 a year.

Alan

Uhh...$50,000. [whistles] Eh, excuse me. [steps outside and yells] Do you got a flatline to get a little help around here?! Do you need to move to Canada to get some decent medical care?! [enters the emergency room] They'll be right over. So, uh-uh, 50 grand, huh? Boy, I don't know how I can afford that. Y'know, if I came into some money, an inheritance, or something.

Charlie

There's no money, Alan.

Alan

N-None?

Charlie

The whole thing's a house of cards.

Alan

Huh. [steps outside and yells] Okay, I did not want to have to do this, but I am Matthew Broderick! And that is my brother lying there!

I am so sorry, Mr. Broderick. I love you in The Producers.