[Outside the hospital's emergency room] Damn it! What kind of a hospital is this? Where the hell are the doctors? That's my brother in there! If he dies, I'M HOMELESS! [Enters the emergency room] Uhh...everything's fine. They're just gonna run some tests. Not to worry.
[Who thinks he is going to die] Easy for you to say. Listen, Alan, if I don't make it, you need to know about my will.
Hey, I don't want to hear that kind of talk, you're gonna make it, but...go on, finish what you were saying.
First of all, I left the house to you and Jake.
Yes!! [Charlie looks at him].... you're gonna make it!
Just so you know, there's two mortgages on it and the property taxes are $50,000 a year.
Uhh...$50,000. [whistles] Eh, excuse me. [steps outside and yells] Do you got a flatline to get a little help around here?! Do you need to move to Canada to get some decent medical care?! [enters the emergency room] They'll be right over. So, uh-uh, 50 grand, huh? Boy, I don't know how I can afford that. Y'know, if I came into some money, an inheritance, or something.
There's no money, Alan.
N-None?
The whole thing's a house of cards.
Huh. [steps outside and yells] Okay, I did not want to have to do this, but I am Matthew Broderick! And that is my brother lying there!
I am so sorry, Mr. Broderick. I love you in The Producers.
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