Melissa quotes from Two and a Half Men

Melissa

Charlie asked me to stay the weekend.

Alan

No kidding?

Melissa

Yeppers. We really made a connection, and it is not just physical. Although the physical part is amazing!

Alan

Again, none of my business.

Melissa

It is like I have known him all my life.

Alan

I know the feeling. You'll get over it.

Alan

This is so nice. A private, intimate dinner for just the two of us. Oh, my God, you guys! [he and Melissa enter the room for Alan's birthday party but nobody is there] There's nobody here.

Melissa

I don't understand. I told them to be here an hour ago.

Alan

Yeah, well, what are you gonna do? My family are a bunch of thoughtless, selfish buttwipes. [he turns around to see Charlie, Jake, Evelyn, and Berta standing in the doorway]

Charlie

Surprise.

Melissa

I want to thank you all for coming to celebrate this wonderful occasion.

Berta

I thought it was Alan's birthday.

Melissa

[To Berta, Evelyn and Charlie] You should be ashamed of yourselves. This (Alan) is a warm and wonderful human being and he deserves more, especially from his family. I don't even know why you guys showed up tonight.

Berta

Well, I can't speak for anybody else, but I'm getting overtime.