So, Luce, can I ask you something?
What's up with this lawsuit thing?
SarahLook, Ricky doesn't even understand what child support is, Julian. He doesn't get the fucking concept.
I figure that a lawsuit will sorta clear his head a little, make him a little bit more responsible.
Sarah
No, I don't fucking think so. The only way Ricky is gonna get any smarter is if he dies and comes back as a turnip. He just keeps on getting stupider, Julian.
SSaleswoman
Hello? Hi! Excuse me? Um, I'm looking for Ricky. I have his encyclopedias.
Trinity, come with me. Daddy bought you some encyclopedias so you can get smarter and you won't be stupid like Daddy when you get older!
SSaleswoman
Well, with tax it is $4,728.33, and that is the cash price.
What? For a bunch of fucking books?
SSaleswoman
Well, if you don't have it that's fine, but I have to tell you, that's a one-time price only...
Oh no, shh, shh, shh, no, no, no...I've got lots of money, I've got the money right here. What are they, fucking printed in gold or something? Jesus Christ!
Is that all the money you got, Ricky?
Well, I got...I thought I had more than this. I could sell some stuff, Lahey. I'll have your money tomorrow. I gotta do one thing at a time here.
Well, well, well. What's it gonna be, Rick? You gonna buy the trailer? Or are you gonna kiss my bare ass right now in front of all these good people?
[Ricky looks at Trinity, then gives the money to the saleswoman]
Oh my God, he's gonna do it, dude! Holy shit, it's ass-kissing time, man! Right on!
Sarah
My God, Lucy, let's...let's get Trinity out of here right now.
Ricky, you did the right thing.
Let's fucking get this over with, Lahey.
[unbuckles his belt] It would be my pleasure, Ricky.
Pucker up, boy! [pulls his pants down]
Make it a quick one, Ricky!
[Ricky takes a big haul off of a wine bottle, gives Jim a peck on the ass]
I can't believe he did that!
[Ricky spits]
I can't believe he did that! That's fuckin' gross, right?
Well, I guess I won that one, Rick!
Yeah, I hope you enjoyed that, Lahey.
J-Roc, where's this guy at anyway?
Chill out, Julian. Cyrus'll be here in a minute, ya know what I'm sayin'?
What the fuck are you doing working with Cyrus?
Well, well, well. If it isn't the big, tough Julianne. The Hubble Bubble Telescope. And Helmet Head.
Fuckin' call me a telescope.
Ladies! The boss is home. It's been a long time no see, dick weeds. (pulls a gun)
Why don't you take your little gun and fuck off, Cyrus?
[chambers a round] Why don't we fuck on?
[walks out of the trailer] Julian, where's the hand cream?
[takes a man's bag of chips out of his hand] I know one of you dickheads did this to my car, 'cause you're the only ones who know I failed Grade 10.
[points his gun towards the Roc Pile] Fuck off! [points to his car, which has been vandalized with graffiti] And what's this, "I'm a fuckhead"? Huh?
Actually, it says "I'm fucked in the head," 'cause you are.
Sarah
Ricky, where the fuck are Cory and Trevor? I said I wanted them back an hour ago.
I don't fucking know. They went home two hours ago. They told me.
Sarah
Well, I don't have them, you must still have them.
GET YOUR HANDS OFF IT! I PAID FOR A LADY, NOT FUCKING CORY AND TREVOR!
Actually, Sarah, let's go with the milk.
Sarah
"Let's go with the milk"? What the fuck's that?
Sorry...would you welcome me with a little bit of your precious milk, please? Is that better?
Sarah
Why? So that you can welcome yourself to all the cereal that I bought?
[Lucy and Sarah are helping Randy try on new pants]
The navy's really good. I actually can't see your underwear for once.
Sarah
Yeah, they look really good, Randy. They're a big improvement.
They're so comfortable. My other ones were so tight!
[Randy rocks from side to side, stretching in the new pants as Sarah checks a cuff]
Sarah
Yeah, they're only one size bigger, too.
[Randy's gut hits Sarah in the face]
Sarah
Randy!
[from outside] Lucy, get the fuck out here and tell me what's going on! Nice pants, Randy! You still look fucking stupid! Lucy, I'm serious! Get out here and talk to me!
Trailer Park Boys · 180 quotes
