James May quotes from Top Gear

James

[Having just run out of fuel in the pouring rain] Oh cock... this is a massive "oh cock"!

James

[holding a glass of beer up to Jeremy's mouth] Jeremy! Speak to me!

James

I thought the best noise that ever came out of a car was the one coming out of the stereo of my seventeen-year-old Golf until you two touched it inappropriately.

James

[Clarkson turned on his stereo while he was trying to quietly park] God's sake. No! [Lights turn on as Clarkson and Hammond laugh] You're so unfunny.

James

[During the Braking test] COCK! [he then crashes into his own piano]

James

All this is yours for 140,000 pounds. Now that is quite a bit more expensive than Porsche's four-door, the Panamera, but, there are two very good reasons why you should choose the Aston Martin. Firstly, and unlike the Porsche, it does look rather magnificent. And secondly, most importantly, this is quintessentially British. Despite the fact that it's made in Austria. Which I think is in Germany.

James

Everybody, good news! Wait, it's better than you think! The new Dacia Duster is coming to the UK! (Crowd cheers and applauses)

James

Here it is. Porsche call it the Sport Classic, but I prefer to think of it as, "Now that's what I call the best of the 911 Volume 1".

James

There's more, or rather less. There is no standard air con. The door handles are being replaced by these little bits of rag, and they even dished the piece of plastic that goes on top of the instrument. What Porsche do, is they...they leave a lot of things that you should get on the Boxster on a shelf, in a factory, and then they charge you more for not giving them to you.

James

This is a really happy car. It's full of vibrant energy and enthusiasm, it's a bit like of those really stupid dogs, I bet if you threw a ball, it'd chase after it.

James

Manual, semi-automatic... oh, these are the weapons! [In the back, Jeremy and Richard laugh]

James

Is that man walking along playing with his testicles?

James

This burst of acceleration could decide who goes on American television!

James

[in the transport plane, with the back open while they were still in the air] Hammond! Put your handbrake on!

James

[after fixing his BMW, being followed by many children] What I couldn't have done without those meddling kids.

James

[to the tune of ‘We Three Kings'] We three kings from orient afar,