[During the opening sequence]
Tonight, James gets wet, an actual spin doctor on our track, and the Stig laps a Reliant Robin.
“July 4th, 2010” · Season 15, Episode 2
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (8), Richard Hammond (4), James May (4)
[On the Stig]
Some say there are 17 different reasons why he's banned from the Northampton branch of Little Chef, and that his favorite airline pilot is Mark Webber. Two actually, all we know of course, he's the Stig!
The only reason you two didn't buy a Ford Sierra Sapphire Cosworth is because you've forgot about it.
Come on, I'm the tallest thing here.
It's not as bad as you think actually!
I'm trying to be killed by lightning!
What?
I'm trying to be killed by lightning!
Sorry?
... Are you deaf?!
Sorry?
[When arguing over the fact that Richard's BMW M3 E36 car is more spacious than Jeremy's Ford Sierra Sapphire Cosworth and James' Mercedes-Benz 190E 2.3-16 Cosworth by the judges]
This is ridiculous!
The judges' decisions are final!
Say, say the BMW is the most spacious because it was made in Bavaria. It's...that's, that's like saying, "Who's the tallest Top Gear presenter? It's Richard Hammond because he's from Birmingham!".
No! It's not!
Jeremy "Who's the fastest driver of the three? It's James May because he's wearing his Mum's curtain!"
No, it really is, it really is the most spacious car. That's the fact, and that's the judges' decision, live with it!
Hey! Good news! No, I have secured some top secret film taken inside the factory of the new Dacia Duster being made.
Excellent! Excellent! [quickly] anyway..
[On the Porsche 911 Sport Classic]
Here it is. Porsche call it the Sport Classic, but I prefer to think of it as, "Now that's what I call the best of the 911 Volume 1".
[On the Porsche Boxster Spyder]
There's more, or rather less. There is no standard air con. The door handles are being replaced by these little bits of rag, and they even dished the piece of plastic that goes on top of the instrument. What Porsche do, is they...they leave a lot of things that you should get on the Boxster on a shelf, in a factory, and then they charge you more for not giving them to you.
This is a really happy car. It's full of vibrant energy and enthusiasm, it's a bit like of those really stupid dogs, I bet if you threw a ball, it'd chase after it.
[The ADAC Test Results]
What would be a good score on this? A new car will score, a good car?
AMADAC Man
150 points.
I will go first with my score. Are we ready? 58!
58. That's good. (looks at the results) 19!
19? That's not so good.
No.
Hammond?
6!
(James bursts in laughter, followed by the ADAC Man.)
...
Would you say the BMW is dangerous?
AMADAC Man
Yes.
[voiceover, with the scene showing Richard Hammond driving very slowly] This had a dramatic effect on the way Hammond drove.
(slowly) 6? I don't know how you could score less. Would have to have, like, wheels missing. Or a tiger in it.
(mimicking the opening sequence) Tonight, on first gear. Richard Hammond drives across Germany in a deathtrap.
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