Top Gear · Season 15, Episode 7
“February 21st, 2010” · Season 15, Episode 7
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (12), James May (9), Richard Hammond (8)
[After Richard introduced his Porsche GT3 RS]
What you've brought, mate, is a knife to a gunfight.
How do you make that out?
Let me explain, OK? Premiership [pointing to James' Ferrari 458 Italia], Premiership [pointing to his Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG], [pointing to Richard's Porsche] Johnstone's Paint Trophy.
Can I just say how nice it is to be the elder statesman here with the grown-up car?
With those doors? "Look at me, I'm an eagle and I'm here!" Can you get an optional extra where you hit a button and CO2 flows out as you get out in a Darth Vader costume?
[high-fiving the lady] High-five! [high-fiving the mayor] Never high-fived a mayor before.
Right, chaps! Little drive. And I solemnly promised, with my hand in the air, that we'd wouldn't go fast.
[voiceover] Sadly, though, we forgot.
Hammond, what is it that happens you drive a Ferrari 458 very fast -- on a hot day?
I believe it catches fire.
Yeah, yeah, only a few have caught fire.
[voiceover] Because my car didn't catch fire, Jeremy got bored and became a yobbo.
How do you get the arse to kick out on this thing?
[After Richard and James leaves behind Jeremy to go to the hotel]
Not going to be the same without the big ape, is it?
What a bin lid, honestly!
He is a yobbo, though, isn't he? Four laps and he'd trashed it just by messing about. He doesn't think ahead.
[over the radio] I can still hear you, you short arse! [Richard laughs]
[During the news]
And the big news is, James and Richard have both had a horrible accident with a Flymo.
No, no, listen!
You must have noticed.
No - it was the end of my mid-life crisis, so I lost the hair. I'm done.
And you actually think it's ended, dressed as Adam and the Ants?
He's Sergeant Pepper.
I've moved on.
What would you do if I sang out of tune, Hammond?
You can shut up, because in that film, you looked like Ted Nugent and now you look like Kojak. Where's it gone?
It is noticeable, mate.
That from a man, ladies and gentlemen, who presumably was bald until puberty.
Ah, now, Rich, would you like some pussy? [laughter]
[looking enthused] Well, do I certainly..
[looking confused] Well, it wasn't on my mind right now, it is now. I... Eh?
Pussy, energy drink. [showing off the canned drink]
[laughing] I see! I did wonder.
What flavour is it?
Flavour?
Leave it! Leave it!
Steady on, man. Leave it!
Blind hill! Aaaaaargh!
Aaaaaargh!
[reading from the card] At this racetrack you can do so much more than race your car. You can also, for instance, learn... Learn how to do a drive-by shooting.
Is that man walking along playing with his testicles?
[Explaining his version of Olympics to Danny Boyle]
OK, what I'm seeing, OK, the gates come open, the gates are on fire. Some Jags come in, XKRs. On full opposite lock, on fire. And the guy, instead of having a torch, on fire, what if the whole man is on fire? He runs along and leaps into the big saucer-y thing with the flames and that goes on fire. The crowd could be on fire... Every single thing. Because then it could be like Top Gear.
[on the TV studio's identity] Could be Good Morning America. That is a big show. Hammond will be desperate to get there first. Because ever since he was a fetus, he's been destined to appear on American television. With his teeth and his hair and everything.
This burst of acceleration could decide who goes on American television!
The Stig has gone... We're like Genesis now.
We're not like Genesis!
We are! And Then There Were Three!
I hate Genesis!
I hate the Stig!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
