Stephen Ladyman quotes from Top Gear

Stephen

Well, I'm a sort of lefty in a way, but I cannot tell you the overmastering hatred I feel, the waves of disgust when there is that, that frowny-faced woman on the bicycle who looks at you as if you are the symbol of all capitalism and meat-eating and penis-owning - you know, you are the enemy of the people, you are the enemy of the planet, you are globalization - you are Capitalism with a huge cigar - just because you might've slightly blown her off course on her blasted bicycle!

Stephen

Other cabs let you in, you know - "cabaraderie", I call it.

Stephen

Look at him, doesn't he look a dick.

Jeremy

(To Stephen Fry) Have you, um, have you been to the Isle of Man?

Stephen

Yes, you go to the airport, you say "I love Man!" and they say, "Not here you don't!"

Jeremy

You could be birched for loving man there.

Stephen

Yes, which is something people pay a lot of money for in London, so it's like a free service.

Stephen

I came so close to losing my licence almost exactly a year ago. I was pootling along the M11 at a hundred and *hrm* miles per hour, and fortunately they took an average, which was 99.8.

Jeremy

An average from when you got into the car.

Stephen

Yes, quite. From the centre of London.

Stephen

Yes... yes... you've written well and turgidly about Norfolk! Not turgidly, exactly.

Jeremy

Well, it was just, that time, the first - well, not the first time I went there, but I can remember, not that long ago, driving along a main road, filled up with petrol and I gave the bloke in the cashpoint my credit card... he just put it in the till! "No, no... no, no... you're supposed to swipe it..."

Stephen

This is the home of Lotus! It's an advanced, sophisticated county!

Jeremy

Now, you see, that was a bad example.

Stephen

Well, there were the - all right, but it's a... it's a mysterious county. There are - you go through a beautiful Old World village with a sort of mullion-windowed rectory with ivy over it and the squire's house and a beautiful old church, and then a sign saying, "HOT RODDING".

Stephen

[On the speed Camera] We paint them yellow, we put them where you can see them, and we put a big sign to tell you where they are coming. And we even printed a list on the internet. If you still got caught, whose fault is that?

Jeremy

You are the one with 9 points, and I haven't got any...