James[pointing to his large spotlight] This is the Light of the World.
Played by James May
Top Gear · 1,774 quotes
3rd most-quoted character in Top Gear: in 559 of its 1,774 quotes
Most scenes with: Jeremy Clarkson (323), Richard Hammond (261)
Lines by James May 178
JamesJames[on being in the Nativity Play as a child] I was a shepherd because I had a dressing gown.
James[comes out of the hospital with a bandage on his head and stops in his tracks] What are you two wearing?
[Richard and Jeremy stand in front of James wearing burkas and sunglasses]
[when their 'Sneak across Syria' plan has failed with them driving to their hotel disguised in Burkas where they see a "Welcome Top Gear" banner at the entrance]
JamesI've appeared on TV in drag for nothing!
JamesI've finally found a present for Jeremy. Oil of Tact.
JamesThere is a place reserved in Hell for the man who put that gearbox in that car. And it's the ratios - it's a case of many are called, but few are chosen. And many who are first shall be fourth and many who are third will actually kick-down into second.
[During their "bank heist" test, Jeremy and Ricard steal the Mercedes-Benz S65 AMG and the Rolls Royce Ghost, leaving him with the Yugo as his only means of transport, he is not pleased with this]
JamesWhat a pair of utter cars!
S16 E3 February 6th, 2011
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JamesIt's just suddenly hit me, that I'm driving across Italy in a supercar, and I've got another one to look at!
S18 E1 January 29th, 2012
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JamesThis is speed skating. Which in the proper Olympics involves a lot of men in condoms, slithering about.
JamesWith Jeremy's shooting, you're perfectly safe so long as you stand directly in front of the target.
[testing his Land Rover Discovery on a makeshift ice circuit]
JamesThis is the best way to get the power of the big V8 down onto the ice: with 4WD; intelligent differentials; intelligent traction control; not just booting it, and shouting.
[Jeremy howls]
JamesHe's great isn't he? Give him a megaphone, he's happy!
JamesNo one has ever done it before because they probably would be killed to death.
Scenes with James May 381
[during the news]
I get confused with 911s. I don't know where they all go. Is that a turbo?
JamesNo, that's not. That is normally aspirated.
So wait a minute, the GT2's a turbo...
Yes.
... and the Turbo's a turbo, obviously...
Yes.
Why is a GT2 not a Turbo if it is a turbo?
But it is a turbo.
Yes, why is it called a GT2 and not a Turbo?
Because the Turbo's called the Turbo. You couldn't have a -
You see? Does anybody here understand the 911 range? [silence] No? They're bored, aren't they.
AAudience
Yes.
They've been making the same car for a hundred and twenty-thirteen years, and all they think to do is, "Well, we'll call that one a GT3 and that one a GT2, have a Turbo, the GT2, have a GT1, a 959, put the engine in the back." God, it must be fun going into a Porsche dealership, "Can I have a 911?" Be like ordering breakfast in America. [face in hands] "I just want eggs!"
S2 E3 May 25th, 2003
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JamesWhat would you say if I said, Perodua Kelisa?
Made In China.
S2 E3 May 25th, 2003
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