A character in Top Gear
Played by Richard Hammond
Top Gear · 1,774 quotes
2nd most-quoted character in Top Gear: in 628 of its 1,774 quotes
Most scenes with: Jeremy Clarkson (406), James May (261)
[on the Stig]
RichardNow for this race, I shall pilot the little remote control car, because to get the best out of the G-Wiz for this test, it needs to be controlled by our finest driver: someone who has never sat on Santa's knee; someone who's never watched Moonraker on Boxing Day. [Which was indeed shown three days later on Boxing day by the BBC's main rivals ITV]
RichardYes, but the thing is the BBC saw that film and they said we'd been stupid. And they said we had to do something for...the normal person. And, well, [points at Clarkson] it was 'im again...
[on the Audi RS6]
RichardI've got three options for the ride settings: sport, dynamic, or [comfort is shown on-screen] ... "James May".
[To the skiers before the race]
Richard[speaking French] Hit the ham!
[Richards Alfa Romeo Spyder can be heard failing to start with him looking over at the engine]
RichardBegin!
[Jeremy can be heard laughing while the spyders engine starts dying]
RichardNow!
[At Alfa Romeo concours, talking to other contestant about his polished Alfa]
RichardAs a man of God, you'd take it badly if I were to, let's say, key it.
[After Clarkson was caught by the hunt and cues back to the studio]
RichardSadly, in the course of making that film, Jeremy Clarkson was eaten by dogs.
[on The Stig.]
RichardSome say it's impossible for him to wear socks, and he can open a beer bottle with his testes! All we know is, he's called The Stig.
[Upon seeing the Stig was leading at the final corner]
RichardStiii- [realizing] Jaaames!
[After Jeremy pulls up to May and Hammond with his lorry trailer on fire]
RichardHow can we be this rubbish?
RichardNow, tonight, we're trying to get three fast cars from San Francisco to the Speed Week Drag Races at the Bonneville Salt Flats. Usual range of problems: we've got visas which allow us to be factual, not entertaining; Jeremy has met a policeman; and James hates his car. We rejoin the action at Reno, which is, factually speaking, a toilet.
[on the Renault Avantime]
Richard[voiceover] Introduced in 2002, the Avantime was a monumental failure. Only 435 were sold in Britian, before it was dropped from the price list after just 18 months. Weirdly however, it's one of the few cars ever made that us three all like.
[after Jeremy asks a nurse in the audience if she can kill James]
RichardAll she needs is a syringe and some water to kill someone? Is she a nurse or a ninja?
[having just watched a Range Rover drive into a pond[
RichardOoh! I bet that made him jump.
[During the opening sequence]
RichardTonight. Boris Johnson is the mayor in our Reasonably Priced Car. Jeremy attempts an old fashioned sensible road test of the new Ford Fiesta. And has communism ever produced a good car?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
