[During the opening sequence.]
Tonight, Richard spins off the track... twice; Jay Kay tries to get to number one; and Germany or Britain: which is best?
“July 27th, 2008” · Season 11, Episode 6
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (12), James May (12), Richard Hammond (8)
[on The Stig.]
Some say it's impossible for him to wear socks, and he can open a beer bottle with his testes! All we know is, he's called The Stig.
[on organ donation and the dangers of motorcycling]
I actually carry a card that says "I do not wish to help Jeremy Clarkson be amusing in the event of my death."
Fair enough.
[While test driving the Mitsuoka Orochi]
[voiceover] It costs forty-four thousand pounds and it's made by a company called Mitsuoka.
You've probably never heard of them either, but they are a proper, Japanese car maker. In fact, they're the tenth biggest car maker in the country, after Toyota, Nissan, Honda and six others.
[on the Dacia Sandero]
Hey, great news!
What?
I've been sent more information on the Dacia Sandero.
Excellent, excellent. [quickly] Hey, now...
[Introducing the Top Gear vs D-Motor film]
Now, there's a new TV show in Germany. It's all about cars and it's hosted by three people.
I can't imagine where they got that idea from! No idea! Anyway, they got in touch with us and they invited us to take them on in a series of races and challenges.
Now, obviously, we needed somewhere to stage this.
Yes. I suggested we did it in the skies over southern England!
In fact, we settled on Belgium, which was a country invented so that Britain and Germany would have somewhere to sort out their differences!
Yup! And, on that point, the producers told us: "Now, listen. You're representing the BBC. You can't just turn up and go on about the war."
[James grins in silence]
It's a gravel trap designed to stop Formula One cars. How on earth do you think it's not going to stop a Jaguar with a Metro on the roof?
[voiceover] With us out all we could hope was that Jeremy and Kiff the soundman would race on, cleanly and fairly.
Ram him! RAM!
James and Richard think it's all over... and they're right!
Who makes the fastest cars: the Axis powers or the Allies?
You came up with this one didn't you?
Yes!
[Moments before James commences a drag race in a G-Whiz]
Cock. Just remembered the Australians. They do that VXR thing...
[During the Axis vs Allies drag race]
I'm hoping that because the Lamborghini's Italian, it'll change sides halfway through the race.
[During the Top Gear v. Germans challenge: hatch-back test]
Awful lot of bullets hitting me here.
[voiceover] And no wonder...
James, what are you doing!?
Shooting at Jeremy.
But he's on our side!
Yeah, but why wouldn't you?
You're right, you would. Fire!
[James is watching Where Eagles Dare during the Bowler Nemesis test]
[German accent] Sit down, Kommandant.
You're not interested in these, are you?
D'you know what? Your mind cannot comprehend of how uninterested I am in things like this.
[Richard crashes his Bowler Nemesis]
[over radio] Hammond, if you don't get that thing started, [German accent] for uz, zee competition iz over!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.