[During the opening sequence]
Tonight. James goes racing in Finland. Richard tries out the future of motoring in Japan. And I cut up some wood near Godalming.
“November 16th, 2008” · Season 12, Episode 3
In this episode: Jeremy Clarkson (9), James May (7), Richard Hammond (6)
[During the news]
Great news! They've done an off-road version of the Dacia Sandero! [photo appears on TV screen] Don't be fooled by the Renault badge; that's the Dacia, that baby!
What the hell are you on about?
It's Dacia!... :[audience member says something, Jeremy speaks to him] It's a Dacia! I know it says Renault, I just said that! Have you got a beard in your ears as well? Or is... :[audience member replies] Why do ginger people always grow more of it on their faces? That's what I want to know.
[during the news]
That jacket... how big was the bet?
Pretty big.
[James is taking part in a folk race in Finland]
Have a Scandinavian flick, Finnish person!
[On discussing the V8 Beef and Brick smoothie Jeremy just put together with a 6.2litre V8 powered food blender]
It needs a name.
We should give it a name. We should call it... Desperate Shag in a Skip.
[James drinks some of the smoothie, and immediately looks disgusted]
I think he likes it!
I've got the name for it.
What?
The Bloody Awful!
[to Richard] Have you tried some?
Yeah.
You haven't! Show me putting it in your mouth. [Richard drinks some, and also reacts with disgust] That will put testes on your chest, that will.
[shouting] It's put hairs on my eyeballs!
I'm not sure this works! [they all laugh]
[The three are driving a Renault Avantime around the track]
So, this is six years old and everything works -- which is odd because most Renaults...
...six minutes!
Why don't we just put nitrous on it?
Do you remember what happened to the first Stig?
Fell off an aircraft carrier.
Because?
[glances at The Stig] ...yeah, we used nitrous...
[A plywood splitter they fitted to the Avantime is on fire]
Hey, wait a minute. This is something I've wanted to do--I've worked in television for twenty years now, never had the chance yet--
Back to the studio.
Hey that's my line! That's what I wanted to say! May! May, you [bleep]-head! [chases after James]
[Richard uses a fire extinguisher on the burning splitter]
Yup. What I thought I'd do is put the fire out, and then say...
[behind Richard] Back to the studio!
[The Stig is driving their modified Avantime around the track]
Look at that! It looks like a touring car! A French, plastic touring car, but a touring car none the less!
I wondered if I might be, in some way, a bit Finnish myself. I don't like noisy people, so does that make me Finnish, d'you think?
MHMika Häkkinen
Yes.
At home, I quite like to have the spanners in my toolbox in order of size so that I can always find the right one — is that quite Finnish?
HHäkkinen
Yes it is, very much. Personally that's what I do, if you're talking about the toolbox, and everything has to be very organized.
I quite like to have the air vents on my car all pointing the same way, exactly. Is that Finnish?
HHäkkinen
Uhh...no.
I've passed the BMW. That was an overtake! On a Finnish person! She's only twelve, but that's not the point...
[on the Renault Avantime]
[voiceover] Introduced in 2002, the Avantime was a monumental failure. Only 435 were sold in Britian, before it was dropped from the price list after just 18 months. Weirdly however, it's one of the few cars ever made that us three all like.
[voiceover] With our weight-shedding completed, I went to ask James about his suspension...which was a mistake.
The springs are stiffer and the dampers can be adjusted so that the rate of compression and rebound changes. That helps, if you alter that very very finely, you can keep the tire in contact with the road more of the time. The instant the weight goes off or the tire bounces up, you lose grip, which will lower your cornering speed, and we know that cars are faster wh-[Clarkson starts to walk away] You asked!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Top Gear pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.