A character in The Venture Bros.
Played by Steven Rattazzi
The Venture Bros. · 726 quotes
6th most-quoted character in The Venture Bros.: in 75 of its 726 quotes
Most scenes with: Doctor Thaddeus Venture (18), The Alchemist (15), Jefferson Twilight (13)
Sorry about earlier...I'm probably just still jet lagged, and you know, floating demon head and all.
Dr. OrpheusApology accepted. Just...stay on your side of the room! [Trying to Joke] Tiger!
[An Awkward Silence]
Dr. Orpheus...Yes.
[Another Awkward Silence]
You, uh... wanna go halfsies on a skin flick?
Dr. Orpheus'Kay.
[Dr. Orpheus is trying to check out of a motel in his usual attire, and meets the catsuited owner, Myra Brandish]
Dr. OrpheusIsn't it a bit early for a costume party?
Why, are you throwing one, Dracula?
Dr. Orpheus[with dramatic flourish] Who is Hector Molina?! And why do they keep sending me his Junk Mail?!?
Head's up, kids! Think we may have stumbled unto a Dracula factory!
Hey, you know what? I think I... I feel a little bad about killing that guy.
Dr. Orpheus[Brock's POV, he is shimmering wildly as Brock begins to hallucinate] Yeees, my friend, a splendid first step indee- [vomits again]
Dr. OrpheusAh, Mr. Venture. I caught you.
(unenthusiastic) Yay.
Dr. OrpheusAs per our landlord tenant agreement I've come to inform you of a small gathering I will host from, say, 5 in the post meridian until, question mark.
Whatever. Knock yourself out.
Dr. Orpheus[Referring to Venturestein] Is that man dead?
Uh, no.
Dr. OrpheusOnce again Mr. Venture you cut decency to the quick and leave her to die in prostitute ally!
Prostituuuutes!
(Dr. Orpheus is firing magic bolts at Torrid, who teleports a foot away just before each blast hits him)
Dr. OrpheusIt's like playing Keep Away with the neighborhood spastic! I can't get a bead on him!
You should give us the All Seeing Orb!
(sarcastically) "You should"? Nice, Al. Very polite.
What? You catch more flies with honey.
Dr. OrpheusGive us the Eye or face oblivion!!
...Please!
(After defeating Torrid with their finishing move?)
AH! Man, Orpheus! What are you wearing, golf shoes?
Honestly, I think my hand is bleeding. And the squirming...
I think it's the flip part.
Dr. OrpheusThat's the zing! We need the zing!
Well the zing hurts my hand!
Dr. OrpheusWell if we practiced more than once a month...
(The Alchemist is holding a giant eyeball in front of his head)
Hey! Hey, look! I'm in The Residents! (laughs)
Dr. OrpheusDoes anybody else feel even slightly embarrassed here?
Only most of the time.
Dr. OrpheusPractice makes perfect! We shall meet at my home for some real training!
Yeah! (sing-song) Slumber party!
I'm here! And I've got some fancy beer and some chips guaranteed to be... extreme!
Dr. Orpheus(Amazed) How is that possible...?
I don't know, by putting a lightning bolt on the bag.
[A Sullustan summoned by the Order of the Triad is flying them to the Monarch's cocoon in the X-1]
Well, I can't help you not save the Ventures from back here in the kiddy seat. Why does creepo get to be the co-pilot?
Dr. Orpheus[working with his seatbelt] I wasn't the one who materialized him from a trading card.
Point of order: I wanted to kill him. Because I bet he's abomination or something. And isn't there some code about that.
Dr. OrpheusUnless he is made from dead people, it's still considered murder. Nice try. Got it! It was all crammed into the cushion.
[waking up] What if he gets hit by a car and he's half-dead? I had this dog once that never...
[The Sullustan launches the ship]
Dr. OrpheusI hope he knows where we're going.
I hope he couldn't understand what I said about him.
[Dr. Orpheus carries Dean in his arms]
Dr. OrpheusDon’t panic, Dean is safe. Safe in the magic hands of the Order of the... [Orpheus trips on Phantom Limb limb’s then drops Dean]
Ow, hey pop!
Dean was missing, nice job Brock.
Peoples, somebody here lose an invisible...
[Alchemist realizes he’s pick up one of Phantom Limb limb’s. Then has a sinister look on his face]
Oh... Oh, I'm keeping this.
[The Order of the Triad put on a safety sketch...]
Killin' Blackulas with a sword is cool. But you know what's really cool? Safety!
Dr. OrpheusThe Order of the Triad have many strange and mysterious enemies!
Enemies...of safety!
One of our enemies is invisible!
Dr. OrpheusAnd he can enter any home through the ground! He's waiting for you right now in the basement!
His name is Radon! And he will give you lung cancer!
Lung cancer? But, Al, I don't smoke!
Dr. OrpheusOf course you don't, Jefferson! Because smoking is more evil than the hoary denizens of the Underworld! And if you did smoke, we'd know it. Because we have a SMOKE DETECTOR in every room!
With fresh batteries! Remember: if your smoke detector doesn't work, the silence...
Could be deadly!
[They bow. As they look up, they notice that all of the children have gone.]
When did we lose 'em?
Dr. OrpheusThat was my fault. I really hit them with that "radon" part.
We never get to my song!
Dr. OrpheusPerhaps I should cast a spell of protection on the machine.
No! No magic! Remember what happened last time? I'll be damned if I'm gonna walk outta here in Aquaman Underoos!
Dr. OrpheusIt appears your father was engage in some sort of experiment, but why would he abandon it in such haste?
He gets bored pretty easy.
And rarely tidys his work area.
Hey do you think maybe, now I'm going out on a limb here, they went, down there?
[Hank points to the basement]
Dr. OrpheusYou... you mean, you didn’t check?
Are you kidding? That’s like, the basement!
It’s super spooky down there!
Dr. OrpheusOh dear god.
Why else would we call magic guys to help us look!
Oh no, no no no! 16 years old!
[Sarcastically] "Triad emergency."
Dr. OrpheusI said I was sorry. The boys a very, active imaginations. They're given to flights of fancy.
Yes, the little imps have certainly skylarked us into a mare's nest this time.
The skinny one thinking he has a shot at his daughter, now that’s an active imagination.
Brock SamsonPatrick Warburton · 159 quotes
Hank VentureChristopher McCulloch · 137 quotes
Dean VentureMichael Sinterniklaas · 106 quotes
MMonarch96 quotes
Doctor GirlfriendDoc Hammer · 34 quotes
MBMaster Billy Quizboy31 quotes
PLPhantom Limb30 quotes
PWPete White27 quotes
The AlchemistDana Snyder · 27 quotes
CHCol. Hunter Gathers23 quotes
Jefferson TwilightCharles Parnell · 21 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Venture Bros. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
