Maddie quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Zack

Hey, look Maddie. I'm recycling. Do you know why? 'Cause I love this planet as much as I love you.

Maddie

Good for you.

Zack

(to Cody) She wants me.

Zack

Did I ever tell you how pretty you are when you're angry?

Maddie

Well, I must be gorgeous because I'm furious!

Cody, you hang out in the hotel kitchen a lot, don't you?

Cody

Yes!

Well, don't. I just got a tip that the food critic Bernard Bernaise is coming to the hotel tomorrow. A good review from him will enhance the Tipton's reputation, thus showering me with glory.

Cody

Don't you mean showering chef Paolo in glory?

Him, too.

Cody

After all, the man's a genius. The things he can do with asparagus... I need a moment...

Zack

You need a life!

London

Is the critic here yet?

Oh, well, there's no way of knowing. According to my secret source, he always checks in under an alias.

Maddie

You have a secret source?

At the league of extraordinary hotel managers. If only I could find out which guest he is, then I could make sure he gets the perfect dining experience.

Maddie

So what you are saying is you need someone to spy on all the guests?

London

Someone sly and crafty.

Someone who's willing to break all the rules to get what he wants.

Zack

You know... we don't come cheap!

Maddie

London, lettuce.

London

Let us what?

Maddie

[about the replacement brooch] London, that is not the point. This one doesn't have sentimental value.

London

That's right. It has dollar-mental value.

Maddie

This is the cafeteria. What do you want for breakfast, London? London?

London

I look horrible.

Maddie

We're all wearing the same thing.

London

You look horrible too.

London

What are you doing?

Maddie

Homework.

London

There was school today!? But I thought it was a long weekend.

Maddie

...It's Wednesday.

London

Oh so it's almost the weekend again! Well, no point in going now!

London, I have a message from your father. He is outraged by your poor attendance record at school.

London

How'd he find out?

He went to your school open house and they've never heard of you.

London

[gasps] Daddy went to open house? He does care!

He cares so much he's having you transferred to Our Lady of Perpetual Sorrow.

Maddie

That's funny. My school has the same name! What are the odds!? [laughs]

Cody

Promise me that nobody will get hurt.

Maddie

I can't make that promise!

Cody

Oddly, I'm OK with that.

Zack

Hey, Maddie, I'm running for class president!

Maddie

Great! What's your platform?

Zack

"Vote for Zack."

Maddie

No, that's your slogan. Your platform covers the issues you care about. What do you care about most?

Zack

I care about people who vote for Zack!

Maddie

Great news!

Esteban

The revolution has begun in my country and they want to put my grandmama back on the throne?

Maddie

This is so unfair! I have to have my party at the Goose Lodge because my brother needs braces. (to Liam) Thanks a lot, you thumb sucker!

You have no friends! Except this creepy dweeb!

Zack

Come over here, booger! I'll straighten your teeth!

Maddie

London, this isn't fair. Your birthday was 6 months ago.

London

So? I can have my party whenever I want.

Maddie

I seem to remember on your actual birthday you took a cruise around the Mediterranean. What do you call that?

London

Tuesday.

I'd like a chocolate bar, please.

Maddie

[See's Kirk and gets exited] You can have anything you want!

[blank look on his face] I'd like a chocolate bar, please.

Maddie

You're a man with a purpose. I like that. So, are you twin?

Yeah, are you?

Maddie

No, my parents are old-fashioned. They like to make 'em one at a time.

You can have my baked potato.

Maddie

Don't you want any?

Nah. I feel like I can still taste the fertilizer.

Why is there a crying baby in the lobby?

Maddie

It's not a real baby. It's our homework assignment.

Is there any way you can get your homework assignment to shut up?