London quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Cody

London, there isn't enough money in the world to make me do your project for you.

London

Maybe not in your world; but in my world, I have enough money to buy your world.

Cody

Well, why don't you conduct an experiment that conducts the principles of gene splicing?

London

Ooh, I can do that. I mean, I usually buy my jeans with holes already in them, but I can slice them myself.

Cody

Argh. This is like talking to a potato... We'll make a potato clock.

London

Why would a potato need to tell time? Ooh, I got it: so it knows when it's done!

London

Cody, will you help me with my science project? The guy I used to use is all stuck up now that he won the Nobel Prize.

Cody

A Nobel Prize winner tutored you?

London

No, he just did the research and the writing.

Cody

Sorry, London, I can't help you. I have a book report due on Moby Dick.

London

I'll pay you.

Cody

The whale can wait!

London

Cody?

Cody

London?

London

This is too hard!

Cody

It's two wires, a potato and a clock. How much easier could it be?

London

A lot... if you do it.

Cody

London, I'm not going to do it. I have my own book report that I have to finish.

London

If you finish this project for me, I'll write your book report for you. (London & Cody look at each other and then laugh) Seriously, finish the clock!

London

(like an advertiser) Everyone loves homemade French fries, but who has the time?

Nia

(same tone of voice) I don't. I usually have to pay those crazy drive-thru prices!

London

Well, not anymore!

London

With the Lightning Fry Maker, you can have delicious fries in seconds!

Nia

Mmm! Now that's a good fry!

London

If you call right now, we'll include a 50-pound bag of potatoes absolutely free!

Nia

(quietly and quickly) $40 shipping and handling not included.

London

Hurry! They're selling like hot cakes!

Nia

Don't you mean hot potatoes?

London

Seriously, call. You won't regret it!

Nia

(quietly and quickly) Lightning Fry is not responsible for any injuries, accidents, or mutations that may occur while using this product.

London

(about Millicent) Moseby, Moseby, Nervous Maddie just passed out again! (about Nia) Cranky Maddie isn't at the counter! (sees Maddie; gasps) Hideous Hair Maddie, you're back! (hugs Maddie)

Maddie

Suddenly I miss the frozen tundra.

Okay guys, we're going to do a simple exercise about trust,

Arwin

Ooh! Dibs on Carey, Ha ha I picked Carey, you've gotta be faster than that.

London

I really don't trust any of these people so I'm just going to catch myself, here I go...(thumps, then gasps) I didn't catch myself.

Okay, people. The best way to understand a co-worker is by stepping into their shoes.

London

But, I'm a dainty size 3, Maddie has the feet of Sasquatch!

Maddie

He means we act like someone else to see their point of view. For example, I'll be you! (imitating London) Mint me, Candy Girl! Even though you're busy, forget the other customers because I'm more important! Yay me! (claps hands)

London

(imitating Maddie) Sorry, London. I can't right now, because I have to tell you a boring story about one of my weird relatives. Do me a favor and pretend to listen, would you? While I go on, and on, and on wearing my really ugly clothes!

Nia

(imitating Maddie) Oh, and let's not forget, since I'm back from saving the penguins, I want everyone to drop what they're doing and do it the way I want it!

Millicent

(imitating Nia) And, I'm Nia. I can make you do anything I say because I'm tough and can crush you like a grape! (Nia gets mad at Millicent) I was talking about another Nia.

Nia

Uh-huh.

Carey

Ooh! I'll do Patrick! (imitating Patrick) Well, (fixes her hair) I suppose I could get you to finish dinner in time to see Carey Martin's show, but that would mean working hard. (everyone else gasps)

Arwin

(thinking he is imitating Estaban) Mr. Moseby! Mr. Moseby! Can I take something that's working perfectly well and do some conveluded thing to it until it breaks? (laughs)

Carey

Arwin, I don't think you're supposed to imitate yourself.

Arwin

Oh, I thought I was doing Esteban.

No, no, no. Esteban is more like this. (imitating Esteban) Oh, Mr. Moseby! Oh, can I have a day-off? Because, my chicken has chicken pox, and I can't feed him chicken soup, 'cause he's a chicken! Did I mention the fact that I have a chicken?

Esteban

(imitating Mr. Moseby) Oh, very well! Good luck with that! Oh, keep carrying those bags, Esteban, like a pack mule! While I sit in my office talking to my mommy!

My job isn't yelling at people.

London

So you just do it for fun?

NO!

London

You dinged?

Esteban

No, you're supposed to say, "May I hep you?"

London

May I what?

Esteban

You know, hep! Hep, Hep.

London

Hooray!

Less cheering, more bellhopping.

London, maybe you should talk to your father and tell him the hotel business is not for you.

London

But it is for me. The hotel is in my blood.

Actually, our blood is in the hotel.

London, the best thing for Esteban to do is keep that money in the bank. Save it for a rainy day.

Esteban

Ooh. That is a good point.

London

But if it's a rainy day, he can just take his helicopter to someplace dry.

Esteban

Ooh. That is a good point, too.

(after Esteban complains about the food) I'll tell our chef, forthwith.

London

What? You fired Chef Paolo and hired someone named Forthwith?! (gasps and covers her mouth melodramatically, and Esteban does the same thing)

No..."Forthwith" is "presently."

London

Well, I don't care if his name is "Presently" or "Forthwith"! Tell them both to fix it!

Esteban

I'm going to go to my apartment and think about this.

London

You can't stay at that ratty little place.

Esteban

How did you know I had a ratty little place?

London

Well, compared to me, everyone has a ratty little place.

London

The Internet's broken.

Cody

I doubt that. The Internet's a global network of fiber-optic backbones with file save access points and redundant router protocols.

London

The Internet's broken.