Zack quotes from The Suite Life of Zack & Cody

Carey

Did I ever tell you about when I was in my first band?

Zack

Yes.

Carey

And how we couldn't work together and eventually broke up?

Zack

Yes. And then your boyfriend stole your car and ran off with your best friend...

Carey

Yeah, yeah, okay. And what did we learn from that story?

Zack

You need to pick better men?

Carey

You guys have never been apart, not ever.

Zack

Except for the first ten minutes when Cody wasn't born. Those were the days.

Zack

I know he's having a miserable time. We have twin telepathy. It's like my brain is receiving phone calls from him.

Carey

Well, I think you have a bad connection. Hang up.

Zack

Uh, uh. I can sense these things. Remember when Cody broke his leg and I sensed it?

Carey

That's because you fell on him and broke it.

Zack

I'm worried about him. He's up there in the wilderness. Right now, he could be hanging from a cliff over a waterfall with a pack of wolves and a bear snapping at him.

Carey

It's math camp. The worst that could happen is that he sit on his compass.

Zack

But, mom, I'm...

Carey

Honey, I'm tellin' ya. We're probably in more danger here than he is there. [a car starting is then heard]

[to London, outside] FORWARD, NOT REVERSE! [he and London then crash into the room]

Zack

Why do I have to ride the hump?

Maddie

Well, you could have driven back with Muriel in the other car.

Zack

Did I mention how much I love the hump?

Carey

Well, I hope you love your room, because that's where you're going to be until you're old enough to drive!

Carey

Zack, you're gonna miss your brother, too, aren't ya?

Zack

Like a slow-healing scab.

Cody

[on cell phone answering machine] Hi. This is Cody using my mother's cellphone. Leave a message, and remember: numbers are your friend.

Zack

Why don't you ever answer this thing?!

[about Cody going to math camp] Ooh. Sounds like heaven. Your going as well?

Zack

No way! I told the teacher you couldn't pay me to spend 2 weeks with a bunch of math geeks.

Cody

Was that before or after you flunked your math test?

Zack

I'll have you know, I flunked that math test purposely just to get away from you.

Cody

Oh yeah? And who are you avoiding with your "D" in English?

Zack

I've got to get up to that camp!

London

Oh! I can drive you!

Maddie

What?!

London

I'll show Moseby how well I can do without him! C'mon!

Maddie

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa there, big girl! You just drove through a building!

London

But there are no buildings on the highway.

Maddie

True, but there are other cars and big trucks, and the occasional cute deer! This is not a good idea.

Zack

You're not going to tell anyone are you?

Maddie

Well only if you do it.

Zack

GRAB HER!!!

London

You saw nothing!

Esteban

Okay, have fun!

Maddie

Now Muriel, are you sure you have a valid license?

Muriel

Oh, loosen up sweetcheeks you're bumming us out!

Zack

London, can't you drive any faster than 20 miles per hour?!

London

Why?

Maddie

Because we're on an interstate and people are passing us on bicycles.

London

I just want to get there and back in one piece!

Zack

I just wanna get there and back before I'm 30!

Carey

Isn't he the worst!? On the way up here he actually criticized my driving while HE was driving!!

Maddie

Well in all fairness to London I have to say, even though I was being held against my will - and my lawyers will be in touch - she did a pretty good job driving up here.

I suppose I have a slight tendency to be a bit critical.

Zack

Suppose?!

Maddie

Slight?!

Carey

Tendency?!

London

A bit?!

Okay! Okay! I'm sorry London.

London

It's okay Moseby. [takes her hands off the wheel to hug him]

HANDS ON THE WHEEL!!!

Cody

We'll catch them on tv. Now give me the tape. [Zack gives Cody a video.] I can't use this! This is my first pony ride!

Zack

Fine. I'll get the tape of Mom potty-training us.

Esteban

Now I'll never own this hotel.

Maddie

And I'll never be the President.

Cody

I'll never win the Nobel Prize.

Zack

I'll never marry Maddie.

London

On the bright side, I'm still rich. Yay, me!

This painting has been hanging in the Tipton for nearly a hundred years.

Zack

Oh good, now you can buy a new one!

Old is good.

Cody

And that's what makes you great!

Esteban

Oh, Mr. Moseby, forgive us. Back home they would tie my arms and legs to four goats and send them off in different directions... It is also what they do for the people with bad backs!

London

[about to try to make breakfast cereal] Which goes first, the milk or the cereal?

Zack

It doesn't matter; as long as you remember the bowl.