Carmela Soprano quotes from The Sopranos

Carmela Soprano

(yelling) I swear ta God, I'm gonna fucking kill you!

What the fuck?!

Carmela Soprano

You made a fool of yourself and our family on national fucking television!?

Look, I didn't even say that shit. Aight, they totally misquoted me.

Meadow Soprano

Holy shit...

Carmela Soprano

Well, of course they did! That's what they do! Which is why I and everybody else told you, "Don't talk to the press!"

Yeah well you're the one who looked like a total asshole. Draggin' me around like I was five years old.

Carmela Soprano

You are a cross to bear. That's all you are. To your father, to me, to everybody.

Fuck this! Alright! Fuck it all! (Anthony Junior leaves)

Hugh DeAngelis

Jesus, Mel, the hell's wrong with you?

Carmela Soprano

What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? (Carmela leaves)

Meadow Soprano

Mom. It had to happen. She's fried.

Carmela Soprano. How's your daughter?

Carmela Soprano

Fine.

Well, mine is dead.

Carmela Soprano

Oh my God, when? What happened?

When? That piece of shit, your nephew.

Carmela Soprano

They broke up, Liz. She ran off.

She doesn't call me for almost two years? My birthday? Christmas?

Carmela Soprano

You two always did have a very difficult relationship.

The FBI came to my home. You'd be amazed at the questions they asked me.

Carmela Soprano

Liz...

They admitted...they think that he killed her.

Carmela Soprano

Come on, Liz...you're drunk.

Drunk? It's called depression. I haven't had a drink in years.

Carmela Soprano

I ran into Liz La Cerva at the feast.

Tony Soprano

Yeah...

Carmela Soprano

She has got it in her head that Christopher killed Adriana.

Tony Soprano

Uhuh...what? That's insane.

Carmela Soprano

I know. Then again, he does have a history of being free with his hands.

Tony Soprano

Oh, that makes him O.J.? She was probably drunk Carm.

Carmela Soprano

I really don't think she was.

Tony Soprano

Alright...let me school you on domestic violence, okay? First and foremost, there's always a body. And ninety nine out of a hundred, and this comes straight from my cop buddies, it happens either in the bedroom or in the kitchen. He killed her, believe me with the forensics they got nowadays, the...uh...fibers, we'd know about it.

Carmela Soprano

The FBI came to her house, Liz.

Tony Soprano

That's exactly my point. If they thought he did it, how fast do ya think they'd haul his ass in? Sour grapes, Carm. He dumps her daughter, all of a sudden he's Scott fuckin' Peterson.

Carmela Soprano

I thought Ade dumped him.

Tony Soprano

You know what I mean. She was a sweet girl, Ade. But the two of them together was a toxic relationship.

Carmela Soprano

Yeah, they did have a rough time of it.

Tony Soprano

And he's doin' great, Christopher. He's a different person. He's married. He's got a kid on the way. He's focused. Let's not sabotage his progress.

Carmela Soprano

I told you. I had another dream about Ade in Paris. A French policeman told me she was dead and I had to tell her.

Tony Soprano

I know, Carm. Pepe Le Pew.

Carmela Soprano

Anthony?

What?

Carmela Soprano

I am making French Toast.

I'm not hungry. Jesus, how many times are you gonna ask me?

Carmela Soprano

You heard the term "Comfort Food." Maybe it'll make you feel better.

I know this is hard for you to believe, but food may not be the answer to every problem.

Tony Soprano

Well, neither is actin' like a whiny little bitch.

Tony Soprano

(on phone) Alright, listen. Sweetheart, there's been an accident, We were comin' back from the city and Christopher's dead.

Carmela Soprano

(on phone) (Gasps) Oh my God!!!

Tony Soprano

Alright...Carm...

Carmela Soprano

What happened?

Tony Soprano

He drove off the road...and...and...and the car flipped over and...look, I'll tell you in detail.

Carmela Soprano

Are you okay?

Tony Soprano

I just banged my knee, you know the one from High School, I'm fine, but...he wasn't wearin' a belt.

Carmela Soprano

So where are you, Saint Claire's.

Tony Soprano

Listen, they're gonna call Kelli, if they haven't already...and...just get Al and Rita on the phone...and get 'em started already.

Carmela Soprano

Alright. Alright. Oh my God, Tony. He's dead?!

Tony Soprano

(pause) Yeah.

Carmela Soprano

AJ, how...how are we going ta get him ta go along, he won't leave his room, let alone the house.

Tony Soprano

He's gonna leave the house.

Carmela Soprano

Tony...

Tony Soprano

On a piece of plywood if necessary, but he's gonna leave the house.

Tony Soprano

Thirty thousand dollars for that car!

Isn't that what you have insurance for?

Carmela Soprano

What, excuse me? You're not getting another one!

Actually, that's good! It'll force me to take the bus.

Carmela Soprano

What?

We have to break our dependance on foreign oil.

Carmela Soprano

Okay, as your parents, we don't feel joining the army is in your best interest.

This country is in a crisis.

Carmela Soprano

How can one soldier stop it?

When my enlistment's up, I could join the CIA or something. And with a military background, I'd have a leg up. And as an Arabic speaker, I'd be really useful.

Tony Soprano

I don't understand. You're gonna ask the Donald for some time off from your pilot job to go on CIA missions?

Everything's a joke to you!

Tony Soprano

I'm not havin' a good time.

Did you, or did you not want me to go to military school!?