Michael Scott quotes from The Office (US), page 12 ... TV Quotes Database

Michael

Sorry we're late, we were waiting in line at the DMV

Deangelo

Fall asleep right after sex...right guys?

Jim

Nope, go back to the script

S7 E21 Michael's Last Dundies

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Jim

So I've been meaning to tell you, I wanna take you out for lunch. For your last day.

Michael

Oh...

Jim

What do you think? Tomorrow? Lunch, you and me?

Michael

Okay...

Jim

You're not leaving tomorrow. You're leaving today, right?

Michael

Maybe.

Jim

Wow, so that's it, huh? Just four o'clock and you are gone for good.

Michael

Why am I so sad? Am I doing the wrong thing?

Jim

Absolutely not. It's just that sometimes...goodbyes are a bitch.

Michael

[pulls out a tape recorder and speaks into it] T-shirt idea: "Goodbyes Stink." [puts tape recorder away] Okay, alright. So, James Halpert. [starts to cry] You started with this company as a fine young man...

Jim

You know what I think we should do? I think we should just save the goodbyes for tomorrow. At lunch.

Michael

Oh, okay.

Jim

And then tomorrow, I can tell you...[tears up]...what a great boss you turned out to be. The best boss I ever had.

S7 E22 Goodbye, Michael

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Michael

[voice-over as he leaves the office in a cab, arrives at the airport, and goes through security] Well, got almost everybody, so...Holly's my family now. She's my family, and the babies that I make with her will be my children. The people that you work with are just, when you get down to it, your very best friends. They say on your deathbed, you never wish you spent more time at the office, but I will. Got to be a lot better than a deathbed. I actually don't understand deathbeds. I mean, who would buy that?

[Cut to Michael at last checkpoint putting his shoes back on] Well, I guess this is it. Hey, will you guys let me know if this ever airs? Thank you. All right...oh. [Removes the wireless mic from his jacket] This is gonna feel so good getting this thing off my chest. [Hands device over. No audio] That's what she said. Bye.

[He walks a few steps until Pam, shoes in hand, catches up to him. The dialogue is not heard as they share a couple of hugs and a kiss on the cheek, and he walks down the airport as Pam looks on.]

Pam

No, he wasn't sad. He was full of hope...about Colorado, and he was hoping to get an upgrade as an awards member. And he said he was just real excited to get home and see Holly.

S7 E22 Goodbye, Michael

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Jim

Dwight, I don't know how to tell you this, but...we have a little bit of a problem.