The Loud House Season 1 quotes

[as the crowd throw cherry pits] They're spitting cherry pits at us.

[laughs] That means they like us!

[screaming; then to the viewers] You may be wondering why I'm screaming, and no, it's not because I just found out Lana's been hiding her booger stash in my room. [flips his mattress to reveal Lana's booger stash on the underside and gags in disgust]

[from outside] It's not a stash! It's an exhibit celebrating all things nasal! You should be honored!

Lana, stop listening at my door! [sighs; to the viewers] Anyway, I was practicing my ride scream. Today's the annual Udder Madness Day at Dairyland. Clyde and I never miss it. [takes out a map of Dairyland] If you can go on the ten most stomach-curdling rides before the park closes, you win an awesome prize. And this year's prize is gonna be legen-dairy.

Luan

[laughs] Good one, Lincoln!

Okay, if there's anybody else at my door, please step away! As I was saying, check out this year's prize. [takes out a picture of a Tippy hat] This moo-tiful Tippy hat. It's gonna look so good with the rest of my Udder Madness collection.

Twelve separate wash and dry cycles? [mischievously to the viewers] I've got a better idea.

Luna

Of all the places for Vanzilla to bite the dust. Dudes, I didn't think we'd get out of there. [Flashback to a car wash, earlier; the machines have gotten inside Vanzilla, brushing and water-spraying the Louds, and completely covering them in soap; back to the present, traumatized] That was a long seven hours.

[after Andre trips and falls from the bleachers] You okay, Andre?

No worries. The buns broke my fall. Anyhow, great game! I've been watching you play all season, and I can tell you have star power. Which is why, on behalf of the Burpin' Burger, I like to offer you a sponsorship! If you promote our fine establishment and wear our logo, you'll be a BB VIP! [Lynn reacts in confusion] Uh, it means you'll get free burgers.

In that case, count me in!

Stop by the restaurant later to get a taste of the VIP treatment.

[approaches him, covered in mustard] I believe this gherkin is yours, and this mustard.

Ha, ha! Enough for everyone!

Yeah!

Sponsorship rules!

[pressing up against her chest] I have heartburn… in the best way!

[to Lynn] You're very lucky. I wish I could eat here for free anytime I wanted to.

Maybe you can eat here for free. I mean, you're all star players, too.

Here's your free VIP cookie dough milkshake, with extra chocolate and caramel sauce. [adds the sauce to Lynn's milkshake]

[licks her milkshake and suddenly burps out fire] That's spicy mustard.

I really must label these.

[slides onto the grass as Tippy gives her the microphone after scoring a goal] After an udder-ly amazing game like this, I'm going to Dairyland!

[interviewing Paula] You really played your heart out today. Any words for the Action News audience?

[speaks into the microphone and to the camera] Head to Duds for Dudes, where satisfaction is guaranteed! 'Cause they know what a dude wants, and what a dude needs!

[scrubbing herself with a loofah, still purple] Okay, folks, circle up. For anyone keeping count, this is my ninth loofah and I'm still purple, which is unfortunate because this game is televised and my mom's in the stands.

Whoo-hoo-hoo! That purple gal's my daughter! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

So, do me a favor and save me any further embarrassment by playing your hearts out and winning this championship!

[approaches Lynn, for the first time not wearing the burger costume, but rather carrying it] Lynn! Good luck out there. I brought you the Burpin' Burger suit to wear during the big game. [plops the burger costume on her]

Seriously?! But I'm already wearing the logo.

The logo's fine for regular games, but this is the championship game, which starts tp mean more eyes are on you, which starts to mean it's a huge PR opportunity for the Burpin' Burger. So if you wanna keep those perks, you'll just wear the buns. It's in your contract.

Okay, team, huddle up. This isn't working. I love the sponsorship perks, but they're not worth this humiliation! [takes a gherkin off her head]

[agreeing] Here, here.

[showing up with the other sponsors] Hey, Kangaroos. We got some more merch for you to wear on the second half.

Sorry, but we're out.

We were obsessed by all the free stuff, but we're ready to get back to what's really important.

Playing like champions!

[in his birdcage; squawks] This is embarrassing! I don't need a babysitter! I'm a big bird!

A big bird who gets into big trouble. I'm sorry, but we can't take you to Carlos' lecture today and have you behave like you did at the last one.

And now, a rare Mesoamerican bowl that dates back to 1519. It's the only one of its kind left in the world.

A little privacy, please?!

[gasps in shock] Sergio, what are you doing?! Shoo! [Sergio flies out of the auditorium, causing the bowl to wobble and splash water and soap into his face] AH! Soap in my eye! [accidentally knocks over the bowl and gasps]

[laughing about the incident before Rosa glares at him as they walk up to the front door] What? It was funny when Dad started crying. [Rosa continues glaring at him] Uh, I mean, shame on you, Sergio!

Lynn Sr.

[opens the door; happily] Rosa, Carl, Sergio! Please, come in!

Gracias, and thank you for watching Sergio tonight.

Rita

Oh, it's our pleasure.

[sees Lola sitting on the sofa] Lola! My favorite Loud. Is that a new crown? It really brings out…

[cutting him off] Cut to the chase, Casagrande.

[groans] My dad's lectures are dullsville, and I can't sit through another if Sergio isn't gonna be there to wreck it.

Hmm. Sounds like a you problem… [Carl offers her some cash] that, I might be able to help with.

[firmly] Okay, Sergio, you'd better be on your best behavior with the Louds. If you pull any of your usual stunts, I'm sending you to bird boot camp. [Sergio gulps and whimpers worriedly; later, back in the van, waves goodbye] Thanks again! We'll pick him up tomorrow morning. [drives off as Rita, holding Sergio in his cage, and Lynn Sr. wave farewell… only to come to a stop and come back, holding out Lola, disguised as Carl] Nice try, Lola. Carl would never call the van seats "tacky." He doesn't even know what that means.

Carl, it didn't work!

[comes out, disguised as Lola] Worth a shot. [as they walk up to each other, he demands her a refund]

Sorry. No refunds or exchanges.

Rita

Hey, Sergio. [lets him out of his cage] The other pets are waiting for you out by Charles' doghouse.

[squawks] Sergio has arrived! So, what's the plan? What are we doing for fun today? [the Loud pets take out some playing cards and play a game of Old Maid] Ugh, Old Maid? [squawks] You call that fun? Ugh, no thank you.

See you on the flip side! I've got a party to get to! [the Loud pets are thrilled with excitement and ask if they could come too] Oh, you want to come. Oh, me and my big beak. [sees the pets all giving him pleading puppy eyes as if they still want to come] I mean, of course you can come.

[spots the Loud pets sleeping in the sofa through the living room window after failing to open it; knocks to get their attention] Psst! Open up and let me in! [smiles while giving them a thumbs-up; the pets wake up, see him, and yawn before Walt turns off the lights and go back to sleep; gasps] Is this about the party not being at the big fountain downtown? It was a joke! Can't you take a joke? [the pets blow raspberries at him in jealousy and resume sleeping; now annoyed] Fine. Don't need you guys anyway. I'll find my own way in. You'll see! Sergio is unstoppable! [goes to the backyard and tries to ram his way through the doggy door, but it turns out to be sealed on the other side with wooden planks] I'm gonna have to use my brain and not my brawn. [flies up to the window of Lori and Leni's bedroom and knocks to get Leni's attention] Leni, you're dreaming. I'm Dream Sergio. Open the window. [Leni shrugs, gets out of bed, but walks to the closet instead and opens it, and collapses on the floor resuming to sleep; gets an idea and goes on top of the roof] Down the chimney like old St. Nick. [dives into the chimney and struggles to squeeze his body in, then crashes from the fireplace and into the living room, covered in soot; to the Loud pets as they glare at him in irritation] Ah! Told you I was unstoppable! [spins to get the soot off him and coughs; the Loud pets storm off into the kitchen, all fed up with his selfishness; groans] I get it. You're still mad about the party. [follows them as Cliff removes the planks from the blocked doggy door, for when they've been deceived] Let's talk about it like grown animals. [the pets exit through the doggy door, still ignoring him and not wanting to be bothered by the likes of him; groans again, grumpily] Real mature, guys!

[flies into the garage, and kicks out some pigeons who're playing a drumset] Shoo! Shoo, you annoying creatures!

Lynn Sr.

[enters the garage; groggy] Sergio? What are you and all these pigeons doing in the garage?

[nervously] I… uh… I'm Dream Sergio. You're just dreaming of all these birds.

Lynn Sr.

Oh, okay. That makes sense. [Sergio sends him back to bed] Good night, Dream Sergio.

[worried] I'm doomed! The Louds are gonna wake up, see this mess, and rat me out to Rosa! I'm going to bird boot camp for sure! [sees the Loud pets laughing at his misfortune and approaches them] Just the pets I wanted to see! Can you help me get rid of these pigeons? You're kind of my last hope. [the pets scoff in denial and go into Charles' doghouse, still jealous of his selfishness] I deserve that. [forcefully apologizes] Look, I'm sorry. I wasn't very nice to you (since I showed up) today. [the pets peek their heads out, cautiously] I should have been cool with what you wanted to do. [the pets gesture him to keep going] And I shouldn't have lied about the party. [another gesture] And I shouldn't have been so insulting. [one more gesture] And I'm sorry for being a big-beaked jerk. [sadly turns away, accepting the error of his ways; the pets look at each other and decided to forgive him by offering him a hug; touched] Oh, thank goodness. [joins the hug] Boy, you really made me work for it. [breaks out of the hug] Okay, so how are we gonna get rid of these featherbrains?

That was amazing! I had you guys all wrong. You're totally cool, not mention, very clever. Mind if I hang till the fam gets back? [The pets look at each other and nod in agreement; Next morning, they're all playing a game of Old Maid in Charles' doghouse] Ooh, a match!

Oh, Sergio! The Louds tell me you were the perfect houseguest.

What can I say? It's easy when you're hanging with friends.

Well, I'm very proud of you. Now, come on. It's time to go.

Aw, five more minutes? I'm about to win at Old Maid!

Lynn Sr.

[off-screen] Rita, why is the basement covered in pigeon poop?!

[panicking as Rosa glares grumpily at him, realizing what he's really been up to] Gotta go! [flies off as Rosa storms off after him, while the Loud pets laugh and the iris closes in on them]