[That evening at the Chateau Royal apartments, Meryl is sobbing while watching the Southern Hospitality season finale by herself]
[enters, with her face covered in bee stings; tired out] Ooh, boy, did I have a dickens of a day. And are you watching the Southern Hospitality finale without me?!
Uh, you called and told me to.
That is a backhoe of lies! I think I would remember something like that!
You calling me a fibber?!
Oh and B-T-dubs, Wayland is the pie thief! [blows her nose as her twin gasps in shock over being spoiled]
[As they angrily go their separate ways, the Loud twins are watching through the sliding glass door and smirk at each other]
[translating Nacho's language] Ever since Flip found the label, he's been attempting to call and ask her (out) to dinner. But he keeps chickening out.
Hey, chickening out is a bit harsh.
Flip, you can totally do this. There's nothing to be afraid of.
HGHipster Ghost
This used to be my pad, brahs. And I need to find out who rid Hipster Island.
I use bra pads, too. But we gotta see if Sue Ellen chooses Brad, or his evil twin, Chad.
You could always record Southern Hospitality and watch it later.
[as Mayor Davis gives him a button that reads…] "Honorary Jr. Mayor?" Thanks, Mayor Davis.
MDMayor Davis
It's the least I can do since you're helping to save the town.
So do I get to play your keyboard?
MDMayor Davis
[plays buzzing sound on her keyboard] Don't push it, kid. Okay, time to hear ideas to save Royal Woods!
[In the middle of "Right Where We Belong":]
And did you know Royal Woods is also abundantly rich in copper, nickel, iron, platinum? Not to mention it's sitting on a very large oil deposit.
You could've mentioned that earlier!
DWDemolition Worker #1
That kid with the white hair is right! This town is special, and so is my town!
DWDemolition Worker #2
And so is mine. No town deserves to be flooded by you. Get your promotion some other way, Crandall. We don't want a sixth lake.
JJoyce
[groans] You bunch of babies! Ugh! Come on, Donna, we'll do it ourselves.
I don't know. Might not be the best look to flood a precious small town on live television.
This is Katherine Mulligan, covering the destruction of my town in HD-
JJoyce
[yanks Katherine away; chuckles] I mean, I would never flood this beautiful town. [waves] Hi, Mom, happy birthday.
Todd: Call for you.
OOversecretary
[on phone] Joyce, this is the Oversecretary. I saw everything. Bulldozing a perfectly good town on live TV? YOU'RE FIRED!
[Joyce screams in agony and defeat]
[comforting her] There, there.
We did it! Royal Woods is saved!
[as Chandler blocks his view with a giant cardboard of his head] Huh? Chandler, do you mind?!
[Chandler snickers evilly]
What kind of run is that, Loud? Looks more like an emu trotting across the outback.
[annoyed] Oh, great. Scoots.
[The Louds return home later that evening and enter through the kitchen as Lynn storms upstairs in frustration to her and Lucy's room after being heckled and criticized by Scoots]
I've never seen Lynn freeze up like that. I hope she doesn't take it too hard. [proven wrong when loud thundering is heard from upstairs; worriedly] Oh, no! She's rage-lifting again! And those sound like 50-pounders.
[imitating buzzer] Correction: 60-pounders.
[Lincoln and Lynn watch the footage their father accidentally recording one of the three judges criticizing Lola's ribbon routine performance]
JJudge
[on footage; disgruntled] Ugh. Just a rehash of her ribbon dance of the Little Miss Miss Thing Pageant. Excuse me while I yawn.
[on footage] Oh, boy. Where's the ding-dang-darn erase button?!
LLynn
Okay, so maybe Lola has a critic, too. How's that supposed to help me?
I thought you might say that. What if I could show that it's not just Lola, it's everyone in our family.
LLynn
Fine. If it'll keep the emus out of my head, I'll give you a chance. But, if you're wrong, I get to give you 100 noogies.
[nervously] Is there any room for negotiation? [Lynn snorts while punching her fist] Okay, and we're moving on.
[Cut to the Burnt Bean; Lincoln and Lynn eavesdrop when they hear the manager criticizing Luna and the Moon Goats' performance as they play "My Band"]
BBBurnt Bean Manager
Ugh! This group sounds worse than my grandma's piccolo band. And you call that foam?
[pulling up Luan's comedy blog on the computer, showing Lynn the user's comments] Check out these comments on Luan's comedy blog. This user, You're_Not_Funny_123, writes a lot. "Not funny", thumbs-down emoji, "noot fubby"… I think they meant to write "not funny" again. But you get the idea.
[Lynn takes out her notepad to write down her notes]
[While the Louds are eating spaghetti and meatballs for dinner at the dining room table that evening…]
[impressed] Wow, that's your sixth plate tonight, honey. You must be feeling better.
LLynn
Oh, yeah. Thanks to this guy. [points to her brother, with everyone looking at him] He helped me see that I shouldn't make such a big deal about having a critic. Everyone has 'em, especially you guys.
I think you mean everybody but me. [chuckles]
LLynn
Well, no. You have that one judge who says your ribbon routine is weaksauce. Oh, wait, no, no, wait, no, no. Lame. No, no, wait. What was the word she used, Lincoln?
LLynn
Bingo. There it is. [Lola whimpers and sulks in disappointment] Relax. It's not just you. Lincoln pointed out that you all have a hater. Tell 'em.
Sure. Well, Luna, the Burnt Bean manager thinks her grandma's piccolo band is better than the Moon Goats. [Luna sulks in dismay; to Luan] Luan, one user thinks you're about as funny as a stubbed toe. [Luan sulks in sorrow; to his father] Dad, Mr. Grouse thinks you should stick to lasagnas. [to his mother] Mom, one reader said your advice ruined her life. [to Lisa] And Lisa, some scientists are really over Todd.
[Lynn Sr., Rita and Lisa all sulk in distress, one by one]
LLynn
Knowing you guys all have critics sure made me feel better. Linky, can you pass the salt?
[Later, throughout the night… the Louds have trouble sleeping after Lincoln exposed their critics]
[gnawing on her bed sheets] Piccolos…
[bolting out of bed] I ruined her life!
Stick to lasagna… [attempts to leave, but falls off the bed]
I think we should open with this song tonight. What do you think, Chunkster? [suddenly hallucinates the Burnt Bean manager's face on Chunk]
IBImaginary Burnt Bean Manager
[disgusted] I hate it! Why did I ever hire you? [ejects the tape and chucks it out of the van] I should have gone with Grandma Gertie!
[turns around, hallucinating the manager's face on Sam, Mazzy and Sully, all laughing at her; can't take it anymore] STOP!
CChunk
[abruptly stops his van on an intersection] Give a bloke some warning next time, love.
[Later that evening… The criticized Louds barge in as they return home, all incredibly outraged and chew Lincoln out from being hallucinated by their critics]
Why did you have to tell us about our haters, dude?
Now we're all freezing up!
Look, I'm sorry I told you guys about your critics. I was just trying to help Lynn.
LLynn
[punches a hole in the front door; irately] Stinkoln! [opens the door and enters the house, grumbling]
[nervously] I hope that's a happy "Stinkoln."
LLynn
Your dumb "cure" didn't cure me! Scoots heckled me some more and now I've got emu legs again! Wasn't even at a game, it was at the mall food court!
Lynn, why are you paying attention to Scoots? [to his family] Why are any of you paying attention to those people? It doesn't matter what they say.
It's easy for you to say! You don't have to deal with it!
You just go around ruining lives!
[They all leave the living room, annoyingly disgusted]
