[The Louds arrive in the state of Washington D.C to visit the White House]
It's amazing that Jesse got us VIP tour passes to the White House! Are you kids excited back there?
LLynn
I know I am! I read that the White House has its own bowling-alley.
LLana
I hear there's a whole room devoted to ice cream sundaes.
I can't wait to see the dresses worn by all the First Ladies.
I'm excited to take a real peek at that kitchen. I bet they have wooden spatulas dating back to the 1800s. Oh, I can just imagine all the splinters I'm gonna get!
BBullsworth
And that concludes our own tour. I'm surprised. I expected you to be trouble, but you were all well-behaved. Eh, too bad for me. I didn't get to let the dog out. [snarls at the Louds again in bulldog mode] Alright, please make your way to the White House exit. [leaves]
LLynn
That is one strange little man.
Kids, I'm sorry you didn't get the tour you hoped for, but I'm proud of you for being very good. Now, who wants to hit the hotel pool?
[The siblings follow her, excitedly, except Lynn and the twins, who're feeling guilty for breaking the rules]
LLynn
Wait! We can't leave. There's one little problem. [Flashback to her in the Presidential Bowling Room, she accidentally tosses a bowling ball so hard, it breaks the wooden floor of a bowling lane and gasps in horror]
LLana
Actually, two little problems. [Flashback to her in the sundae room, she accidentally breaks off the handle of the ice cream dispenser, causing the ice cream to overflow]
Make that three little problems? [chuckles sheepishly; Flashback to her in the First Ladies' Boutique, she struts all over the floor, then trips, accidentally ripping the dress's bottom half off and gasps in horror]
[shocked and angry at all] Seriously?! I can't believe three of you!
Uh, make that four. [Flashback to her in the Presidential Music Room, she tries to rock out with a golden guitar and accidentally snaps off one of the strings]
Five. [Flashback to him in the President's office, he spins around in the president's swivel chair, accidentally spinning out of another whole control and hits a bust of Abraham Lincoln, trying to cause it to fall onto the ground and break into pieces, and gulps in horror]
Kids, how could you?! Your own favorite father and I are very disappointed, aren't we, honey?
Uh… [sheepishly chuckles] Well, um… [Flashback to him in the kitchen, humming a tune as he plays with a spatula, then accidentally flings it into the president's birthday cake, which collapses]
You'll just enjoy plenty of times to yell at me later, Rita, before the Bulldog tries to track us down and sends us to the dungeon forever!
He's not gonna do that cuz he doesn't wanna let us sneak back in and fix everything before he notices.
[The Louds drive through a mountain range as they enter the state of Colorado]
[to the viewers while playing video games with Lana] You know, I'm really getting used to life on the whole road. Living with the bare essentials isn't very bad.
[relaxing her favorite body and her on a massage chair; voice vibrating] RV living is literally the life for us. [Camperzilla suddenly comes to a halt; notices] Why're we stopping?
Very exciting news. For my next piece in the travel series, we are going to check out the beauty of the Rocky Mountains here in Colorado cuz we want to check out the beauty of the Rocky Mountains here in Colorado.
[The Loud siblings look out the window as Lori pulls the blinds and see the majestic beauty of the Rocky Mountains, all uninterested]
[pulls the blinds again after Lori shuts them] No, I meant we're going outside for an invigorating 10-mile hike! You folks love it!
[Lana shuts the blinds this time while the siblings are all still uninterested]
[enters, wearing Lincoln's blue convincing suit, that's too tight for him; strained] Come on, fam.
Hmm… Is that my convincing suit?
[screaming; then to the viewers] You may be wondering why I'm screaming, and no, it's not because I just found out Lana's been hiding her booger stash in my room. [flips his mattress to reveal Lana's booger stash on the underside and gags in disgust]
LLana
[from outside] It's not a stash! It's an exhibit celebrating all things nasal! You should be honored!
Lana, stop listening at my door! [sighs; to the viewers] Anyway, I was practicing my ride scream. Today's the annual Udder Madness Day at Dairyland. Clyde and I never miss it. [takes out a map of Dairyland] If you can go on the ten most stomach-curdling rides before the park closes, you win an awesome prize. And this year's prize is gonna be legen-dairy.
[laughs] Good one, Lincoln!
Okay, if there's anybody else at my door, please step away! As I was saying, check out this year's prize. [takes out a picture of a Tippy hat] This moo-tiful Tippy hat. It's gonna look so good with the rest of my Udder Madness collection.
Hey, Dad. I'm ready to get to work and-- [screams in shock when he sees Luna, Luan, Lynn, and Lana all there, grinning] What're you folks doing here?!
LLynn
The jig is up, Stinkoln! We know you're trying to get a dish named after you. And we came to beat you at your favorite game. [fist bumps with Lana]
Yeah, bro. At first we hope it was really dumb earlier, but then I realize, people trying to order a Moon Goat cheese salad may just feel really good for the band.
And there's nothing fishy about a Luan-chovy pizza.
LLana
I think a dessert called the Ba-Lana split sounds very yummy.
[Luna, Luan, and Lana look at Lynn]
LLynn
I just wanna win another thing.
[emerges from the kitchen and hugs all of four of his own favorite daughters together] Look at my own favorite daughters, who also want to spend another time with their own old man and learn about the restaurant biz.
LLynn
[in unison] Definitely.
[clapping his hands, gathering everyone] Okay, everyone, gather around.
LLLuna, Luan, and Lana
One, two, three! [bust down the fridge, freeing themselves]
Okay, not gonna ask. I got to duck out to meet my duck-guy.
I hope he's not a quack. [she and her father laugh]
That's a good thing. Anywho, Kotaro and Grant are in charge until I get back, okay? [leaves]
Okay, folks, let's just stay focused and…
[fiercely to themselves] YOU'RE GOING DOWN!
[Lincoln gathers his sisters (minus Lori) in his room for a meeting]
We just got Lori back. We can't lose her again so fast. There has to be some way to get her to stay.
We can lock her in a coffin in the basement.
Or use the numbing properties of jellyfish venom to incapacitate her. [accidentally drops the venom on her left foot, causing her to collapse on the floor due to her leg getting numbed]
Wait, Lori said she was gonna find a realtor. But what if we find her a realtor who only shows her the worst possible places to live?
How are we supposed to pull that off?
[in Italian] Mamma Mia! Il Vulcano sta pur errutare!
She's saying it's gonna blow!
[Mt. Vesuvius begins to erupt and smoke and lava start to flow out the crater; The Louds make a mad dash only to get trapped by the lava]
LLana
This is just like when we played The Floor Is Lava, except the floor is actually lava!
What the heck are you guys doing here?!
I heard what Lori said last night about the recessed lighting, and knew I had to record my totes important makeup tutorial here. But then, I heard someone coming!
LLana
And I heard Lori say how big the sink was and thought I could save some time and give all the pets a bath at once. [bathes Charles, Cliff, Walt, Geo and El Diablo at the same time] Then I heard someone coming!
Well, I'm here 'cause Lori said she had a zillion cable channels, and there's a super important game today.
I can't believe the three of us all had the same idea!
[falling from the ceiling and lands on the ground; weakly] Four of us. [gets up] I have the Little Miss Common Relax Pageant today, and I'm anything but! I heard Lori mention the incredible water pressure in her shower and thought it would help me relax. Then, I heard someone coming!
Okay. Now it all makes sense.
LLana
So what do we need do now?
Respect Lori's privacy and leave?
Oh, well, let's not be hasty. I mean, we all have a special reason to be here today, so we might as well stay. But just for today. And then we'll never disrespect Lori's privacy again.
[The next day… the four sisters are all in Lori's apartment again; Lynn and some five cats are watching the Ping-Pong World Series and Lana is washing three dogs in the sink until they start howling to Lola's singing while she's using Lori's shower]
Uh, hey, Lans, can you ask your dogs to be quiet?! Your cats and I are trying to watch the game!
LLana
Sorry! They're just responding to Lola's off-key shower singing.
[exits the shower; offended] I have the voice of an angel [resumes singing, until it's drowned out by the blown sound of Leni's hairdryer] Hmph. Besides, I'm only singing to drown out the sound of Leni's hairdryer!
LLana
[unplugs the hairdryer's cord from the outlet; sighs] This is clearly not going to work. There's only one thing to do.
Respect Lori's privacy and leave?
LLana
No. Make a schedule so we can all use the apartment by ourselves!
[angrily waving a handful of bills] What in tarnation is going on in here, Loud?! I just got the water bill, the electric bill, and the cable bill for this apartment, and they're higher than my blood pressure! And with your family next door, that's really high!
[looks over the bills; shocked] What?! How could they be so bad?! I'm literally never here! I don't know how this happened! I also… don't have the money to pay them.
[swipes the bills out of her hands] Fine. I'll pay them, but I gotta tell ya, I had no idea you were gonna be such an expensive tenant. [groans] You know what? I think it might be better if you find somewhere else to live.
[guilty] I totally understand, Mr. Grouse. I'll start looking for a new place right away. I'm really sorry.
[Leni, Lynn and the twins exit the bathroom, all disgraced when they heard everything and realized what they've done]
You don't have anything to be sorry for, Lori.
Yeah, this is our fault. We're responsible for the high bills.
We've been using your apartment when you weren't here.
[snapping furiously with her face in red of rage] (YOU) WHAT?!
LLana
We knew we were respecting your privacy, but we didn't realize we were ruining your life.
To show you how sorry we are, we'll find a way to earn enough money to pay your bills.
[enters the twins' room] How's the packing going? [notices Lana is wanting to bring her pets along; takes Bitey out of her bag] Lana, remember, the hotel isn't pet-friendly. You have to leave them home, sweetie.
LLana
Huh? [hesitantly] Oh, uh, right. I totally knew that and this isn't a surprise in any way. Just need to figure out who I can trust one of my precious, precious… [sniffles] babies while I'm gone.
And, when did we get a scorpion?
LLana
Oh, that's King Tut. I found him living in one of Dad's shoes.
LLana
Thanks for going on a practice walk, Leni. This is one of the hardest parts. All my pets have walked at the same time, or they get jealous and they have to pee on the carpet.
Okay, got it. I didn't see you walking a frog or a scorpion.
LLana
How else are they gonna get in their own cardio? The only tricky part is if anyone sees… [suddenly hears the jingle of an ice cream truck] AN ICE CREAM TRUCK! [the truck drives past and the pets run after it, dragging Leni along] Come back! Heel!
The Loud House · 632 quotes
