Lynn quotes from The Loud House

This will keep Lynn busy for hours. [starts a 24-hour timer on his phone and puts it in his pocket as he runs off]

Huh? 80% pork, 20% beef. Crispy yet pillowy roll. That's a meatball sub, baby! Oh, yeah! [opens her door and eats the meatball sub]

Luan

What's with the racket? Mr. Coconuts is on a call with his agent!

I told you, Marty, I won't work with sock puppets!

If I can explain-

[slamming Lincoln's head down to the floor] Stinkoln thinks Lori's mattress is now his because of an amendment in that dumb rule book!

Luna

There are amendments?

I had no idea!

Luan

Hmm. Well, this is for sure Dad's handwriting. Sorry, Lynn. If you never took possession of the mattress, then, it belongs to Lincoln.

[gets an idea and dashes into his room] I have an announcement! [his sisters all stop fighting] I've decided… [drags out Lori's old mattress] to let Lynn have this mattress.

Huh? What?!

Look. I know I've started all of this, but I think everyone must get their favorite things back. The Book of Loud Stuff was created to keep the peace in this house, but now we're just using it to take advantage of ourselves. I propose one last amendment. [takes out a pen and writes down a new amendment on a yellow sticky note] "The well-being of the family always comes first."

Lori

You're right, Lincoln. You're correct, brother.

Agreed.

Absolutely.

If Fern even gets a whiff of me, it’s game over and I'll never get those shoes! We need to call an audible.

Leni

Lynn, years of customer service has taught me how to handle these kinds of people.

Fellow Puffins, cease with the racket! I just received electronic mail from our counselor, Lydia. Come gather. [Darcy and three Puffin camper girls gather around; reading Lydia's message] "Hey, Puffin girlies! Just got my wisdom teeth out. Thanks for the heads-up, Lisa." [to the girls] I told her they appeared impacted. [continues reading] "Doctor says swelling should go down soon. Sent a pic." [Darcy and the three camper girls gasp in shock at Lydia's cheeks swollen and her mouth drooling after her wisdom teeth removal surgery; finishes reading] "Won't be back this summer. Frowny face. But your new counselor should be there in…"

'Sup, Puffins?

Lynn, are you lost again? The mess hall's 2 cabins over.

[to Lisa] Let's see some hustle, Loud.

Pass. [relaxes on the bed] These short legs are not meant for hustle. I'll be in my bed reading. [pulls out a magazine] Gotta catch up on "Unpopular Science". I hear February's fungi issue is a page turner.

[tosses the magazine] Come on, I've got an epic day planned. We're gonna hike, swim, climb.

And I shall be doing none of those. [sighs] I thought Lydia would have briefed you. Between the viral germs, poison oak, lake fungus and the 0.0002% chance of a cicada tornado there's just too much risk for me to leave this cabin.

A 0.0002% chance? That's like, uh, 99% not gonna happen and like 50% not even real.

Yeah, that's not how percentages work, dear sibling. [jumps down] You can be on your side here. [ushers Lynn to the door] I'll be fine.

I'm not taking no for an unimportant answer. As your counsellor, and your favorite sister, I don't want you missing out on any of the fun! Give me one day to prove all of your favorite fears are bogus!

[closes the window; sighs] I foresee your can-do spirit not letting this go so, um, fine. But if you're wrong, may I just say "I told you so", or write a dissertation on it?

Yikes. I overheard. [kneels down to comfort Lynn] I'm sorry, LJ. You okay?

I don't understand what went wrong. I was just trying to make their lives better, but it's like they don't even want six-pack abs.

Well, I think that's the problem. Six-pack abs are your goal, not theirs. Look, not everyone is gonna a tri-athlete like you and me, but getting to exercise, even a little, is a big win.

Yeah, but I made them hate it.