Rose Nylund quotes from The Golden Girls

Rose

[reading the book of poetry Miles has left as a parting gift] And when to the heart of man, was it ever less than a treason, to bow and accept the end of a love, or of a season. [the girls console Rose]

Rose

I had an outdoor wedding. February 12th, I'll never forget...I had the most beautiful white flannel wedding dress, it even had feet sewn in.

Rose

[after Dorothy tells her to figure who at the mystery weekend are guests and who are actors] Okay Dorothy. [suspiciously] If that's your real name.

Rose

[after Dorothy solves the mock crime] Dorothy, that was a real Tour de France!

Rose

What a day. One sad person after another.

Dorothy

Rose, you work at grief counseling. What do you expect, comedians?

Rose

Sit down, Sophia. You must be exhausted.

Sophia

Why? I rode in the cab, I didn't push it!

Rose

Oh Sophia, did we wake you?

Sophia

I heard noise, I thought it was robbers, so I hid my jewels. Now I can't remember where.

Dorothy

Ma, you don't have any jewels.

Sophia

Thank God, because I can't find them.

Rose

I know grief. It takes time.

Dorothy

Please, Rose. Listen, if you're Irish, you have a wake. You eat, you cry, you drink, you vomit and you're done.

Dorothy

Tell me, how is Blanche?

Rose

She didn't go to work again today. It's been three weeks and she just sits in her room. The museum's gonna fire her.

Dorothy

Well, we've tried everything. Golf, the movies, theater tickets. She wouldn't even budge for Julio Iglesias.

Rose

I know grief. It takes time.

Dorothy

Please, Rose. Listen, if you're Irish, you have a wake. You eat, you cry, you drink, you vomit, and you're done. If you're Jewish, you cry, you sit, you eat for seven days, you put on ten pounds, and it's over. We Italians scream, dress up a donkey, hire a band, and that's that. It's these southern Protestants who make it a way of life.

Sophia

When I go, put me in a steel sack and leave me on the curb next to the cans.

Rose

I'll be fine.

Blanche

Is this about Arnie?

Dorothy

No Blanche, she's upset because they keep changing the taste of Coke.

Rose

I don't know what to wear on a cruise.

Blanche

A life jacket and a great big smile.

Dorothy

Who cares Rose! Did you and Arnie hit the sheets or not?!

Sophia

Dorothy!

Dorothy

...sorry.

Rose

Some women don't like to kiss and tell.

Blanche

Oh, shoot, honey, that's half the fun! Why, most of the men I've dated just for the stories!

Dorothy

You must have more stories than O. Henry.

Blanche

[about Virginia] It was the day before Christmas and we were playing and she jiggled the tree and the star fell off and broke. So she told me to pick it up and put it on my finger. And I did. Then she plugged it in. And WHAM! My eyes bugged out, my hair shot straight up, I did a crazy rollover dance all over the room, I'm sure my heart even stopped beating for a minute. Then she ran to Daddy and told her that I had broken the star and almost electrocuted her, and he sent me to my room for all of Christmas Eve and told me that Baby Jesus was mad at me for ruinin' his birthday.

Rose

Blanche, that's horrible.

Blanche

And that's not the worst part. That darn electricity straightened my hair! I used to have curly hair!

Rose

Maybe it's Southern.

Blanche

Sleeping with your brothers is Southern!

Rose

Why would [Virginia] need a kidney?

Dorothy

TO FEED THE CAT, ROSE!