I really have to run now. I'm fixing a terrific late-night supper for Katherine.
Oh, really? In thirty-eight years of marriage, you never once cooked a terrific meal for us.
Neither did you.
“Stan Takes a Wife” · Season 4, Episode 10
In this episode: Dorothy Zbornak (7), Rose Nylund (4), Blanche Devereaux (3), Katherine (3), Stan (2)
[Sophia has just been hospitalized and Blanche returned to Dorothy and Rose with beverages]
Any word on Sophia?
None. Oh, I hate waiting.
I hate hospitals.
I hate when the people put each other down on Love Connection.
Stan came by and stayed with me. Brought me food, held me. Showed me that special part of himself.
Right there in the waiting room?
Dorothy [looking disgusted] Not that part, Rose!
Blanche, we can't let Dorothy ruin Stan and Katherine's wedding. I mean, it's selfish, it's adolescent and it'd put a real cramp in their honeymoon.
[Dorothy enters the room]
Rose!
[continuing] For somebody who's supposed to be so smart, Dorothy's acting like a real goober!
[Dorothy notices, but remains silent as she walks towards Rose]
Rose...
And don't think I won't be able to say that right to her face. 'Course, I'd have to stand on a chair!
[Dorothy puts a chair behind Rose as she laughs hesitantly]
It's her, isn't it?
Will you girls excuse me, my girdle is killing me.
He's wearing a girdle?
And padded shoulder.
And knowing him, a sock in his crotch.
Bartender, give me another.
BBartender
Come on, lady. You don't need another.
Why not?
BBartender
You've had three already!
I said give me another!
BBartender
Fine. It's your life. Just don't blame me if you get sick. [places a basket of popcorn on the table]
[Stan's fiancé, Katherine, enters the bar at the hotel where they're getting married.]
BBartender
What can I get you, lady?
How about a shot of self-confidence?
BBartender
Let me guess. You didn't come in here to drink. You've got a problem and need someone to talk to. Am I right?
That's right.
BBartender
Then take a quarter and call a shrink. This ain't Cheers!
[Stan's fiancé, Katherine, is talking to Dorothy without realizing that the woman she's talking to is Dorothy, Stan's ex-wife.]
[about Dorothy] See, he's got this ex-wife.
You better be careful what you say. I happen to be an ex-wife.
Not like his, I'm sure. No one's like her! She's superwoman. She was the perfect wife! Cooked, cleaned, had two kids, got an education, has never looked better, and now she has a career!
That wasn't a marriage. That's a commercial for a mini pad.
Her name is Dorothy, and she's coming to our wedding. I mean, they're still friends! Listen to me. I'm so intimidated by a woman I've never even met.
Well, that's understandable. I mean, she sounds pretty terrific. I bet she's gorgeous too.
No, the daughter had a nose job and she had her mother's nose. Evidently, it was a honker!
[on Stan] He's smart, he's funny... and the best lover I've ever had.
You haven't slept around much, have you?
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