Dorothy Zbornak quotes from The Golden Girls

Dorothy

Ma, what are you doing!?

Sophia

[caught sneaking Bridget's meal] It's a little habit I picked up, I call it eating.

Blanche

Dorothy, do you realize it has been four days since I have enjoyed the company of a man?

Dorothy

I know, Blanche. I've been marking the days off on my "Big Ships of the Navy" calendar.

Blanche

I don't think I can stand it much longer! My body feels like a Corvette up on blocks with its engine racin', the wheels just spinnin' and spinnin' with nowhere to go! I feel like I'm gonna EXPLODE! [grabs Dorothy's hand] Dorothy, you have to help me, you have to do somethin'...

Dorothy

Honey, there's nothing I can do, so get that look out of your eye and let go of my hand.

Blanche

Maybe Michael needs a little exposure.

Rose

Exposure to what?

Dorothy

To plutonium, Rose.

Rose

You know how it is when you can't believe something.

Dorothy

Yes, I can't believe Alan Thicke has a hit series, but that doesn't mean it isn't so.

Dorothy

Rose, what do you call a woman who sleeps with a man on the first date?

Blanche

[trying to defuse situation] A damn good sport?

Blanche

Michael seems like such a nice young man.

Dorothy

Oh, he really is. But I'm worried about him; he's always been a little flighty.

Blanche

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that; Grandma Hollingsworth always said I was a little flighty... Or was it a little floozy?

Dorothy

Rose, what would you call a girl who sleeps with a man she's known for one day?

Blanche

[trying to defuse situation] A damn good sport?

[about having to share a bathroom with the girls] How do you think we feel having to gargle next to Grandma Moses and the Mosettes?

Rose

You, you, you rude person!

Dorothy

Go easy on him Rose.

Dorothy

[hearing a bark from the bedrooms] What was that?

Blanche

Rose brought a dog home from the supermarket.

Dorothy

What, couldn't she just get stew meat like she usually does?

Rose

[about the dog] He followed me home.

Dorothy

Oh come on, Rose, you drive to the market. How did he follow you home, in a taxi?!

Dorothy

Ma, it's 8 o'clock in the morning, what are you doing with the sherry?

Rose

Don't worry! I'm not gonna drink it. I was just gonna hide it from the dog.

[Dorothy introduces him to her mother] Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Petrillo. What brings you to our humble home?

Sophia

Is he gay?

Dorothy

Uh, come on, honey, I'll walk you to the car.

Goodbye, Mrs. Petrillo. Sorry you didn't have an opportunity to experience our museum. I'd love for you to see my most prized acquisition - a magnificent pair of Gauguins.

Sophia

What are you, a pervert?!! I was married for 45 years, I never even saw my husband's gauguins!

Dorothy

[responding to Mr. Allen] I'd be happy to, Mr. Allen.

Blanche

[mocking Dorothy] Be happy to, Mr. Allen. My my, Dorothy, aren't we licking boots a little early this morning?

Dorothy

I had a light breakfast.

Blanche

I knew you've been hiding something. You no-good, back-stabbing Jezebel, I demand you show me that paper!

Dorothy

I'm sorry, flattery won't work!

Rose

I haven't been this depressed since I was rejected by Uncle Sam.

Blanche

Well honey, if he was your uncle, it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't like if he was your cousin, where the relationship might have had a future.

Dorothy

Tell me Blanche, have any of your relatives appeared in Deliverance?