Carl quotes from The Casagrandes

I'll come with you. I have important business to discuss with Alisa.

And I wanna give her my CDs.

You two, stop right there! You promised you'd stay out of my way.

[whispering to Carlos] Remember when I used to sneak out and go to concerts?

[having to have heard that; angered shock] What? You're grounded, young lady.

When Ronnie Anne was a baby, she had the cutest little pompis. And she used to go... [wiggles his butt] "Toot-toot-toot! Toot-toot-toot!"

Ronnie Anne

Ugh! I don't how I'll ever live down the pompis tooting disaster.

I know. And I thought I had it bad with everyone calling me, "Carl Casa-chonies."

Ronnie Anne

Okay, I hate to say it, but school without Abuelo was awesome.

[counting a huge wad of cash] I'll say, my torta sales were through the roof.

[fending off the lobsters with her camera] BACK, YOU HARD-SHELLED BEASTS!

[surrounded by lots of boxes] I have no idea where I am.

This is the only hiding place left!

Bobby

But I don't like the spin cycle.

[Flies in] Scully's done, he's headed home.

Ronnie Anne

Yes! We're in the clear.

I can't believe our plan worked.

Of course it did, we kicked butt.

[Notices something about his cage.] Why is this cage empty?

Ronnie Anne

Oh, that's Cam's cage, he's probably just camouflaging himself.

[Feels inside the cage] Nope, he's gone.

Bobby

So you're telling me that a snake with the power to be invisible is loose in the building?! [Faints]

[in her folklorico dress walks to her with CJ, wearing a white shirt and shorts, red neckerchief, and sandals] Ronnie Anne, where are my clothes?! Is this one of your practical jokes?!

Ronnie Anne

No, I thought it was laundry day. But I did put a whoopee cushion on Abuelo's chair.

[sits down offscreen] Oop, ah, excuse me!

[walks up, wearing white floral underwear] Why are my chonies so fancy?

Bobby

[walks up, wearing a sombrero, brown leather jacket, vest and pants, green tie, and white pointy boots] I don't think these are my pants but I like 'em! And there are little toys on my shoes! [plays with the spurs on his boots] Wee!

[sees her nietos back into their regular outfits; horrified] ¡Familia! Why are you in those clothes?! Go get dressed.

Ronnie Anne

Abuela, what's going on?

What's with the clothes?

And the labels?

Bobby

And the spicy food?

Just do this for me, por favor.

[squawks] She landed!

It's too late! Mama Lupe is here! I have to go pick her up.

Ronnie Anne

I thought you were excited to see your mom.

I am, I just hope she survives the visit.

[out of sync] What, why?

I didn't want to put this on you kids, but if Mama Lupe finds out we're not carrying on our family traditions, she could…

[squawks] Go adiós, forever.

[enters with Frida] Once my cousin, Tacho, gave Mama Lupe fast-food tacos. The shock almost did her in.

[With his El Dragon action figure.] Your train is mine! Along with all of the treasure inside of it![As El Falcon] Not so fast, El Dragon!

Hey Carl, wanna play tea party with us?

Tea parties are for babies!

“Fine, we didn't wanna play with you anyway.

[Gets up, dazed] Fine.

Stanley

“Hey Adelaide, wanna ride the train with your dear old dad today? You can hang in the conductor's cabin.”

[Gasps, whispers to himself.] “Conductor's cabin?” [Eavesdrops]

“I don't know Dad, I've done it tons of times already.”

Stanley

“You could blow the horn.” [Carl gasps] “And play the announcements.” [Carl goes frantic.] Wait for it, you could even bring a friend along. [Carl is hopeful, but Adelaide declines.] Bet they'd be impressed by your old man, who happens to be a… two-time GLART conductor of the month.

I'll think about it.

Ronnie Anne

Carl, Adelaide, can I speak to you over here? Sorry guys, the slumber party's just for me and my friends, we're doing big kid stuff.

Fifteen feet.

Amateurs, I could beat that in my sleep.

Yeah, watch. [puts a slice in her mouth and Carl stretches it, but it gets flung and takes down a pigeon which lands and gets stuck in Laird's hair]

Sid

Sorry Adelaide, big kids only.

Ronnie Anne

Maybe next time.

Or… this time. [clears his throat and wails loudly] ABUELA!!! RONNIE ANNE WON'T LET US CAMP ON THE ROOF WITH HER!!! [echoes]

[appears behind the girls] Ronalda! [The girls are startled as they yelp] You must always include others, especially to familia. [Carl and Adelaide nod in agreement while sneering] Let them stay for a little while, at least until they go to bed.

Ronnie Anne

[sighs annoyingly] Fine. [to Carl and Adelaide] You can join the party.

See? Who needs the bathroom?

Ronnie Anne

Yeah. We have the sink all to ourselves.

I'm brushing here.

[as her toothbrush is bumped by Carl] My princess toothbrush! How dare you!

Ronnie Anne

On the bright side, we don't have to sleep on the floor. [later, laying on Lucy's bed, sandwiched between her grandparents] On second thought, I'd rather sleep on the floor.

[in a coffin with Carlitos] At least you're not in a coffin! [freaking out in horror]

Goodnight. May you all sleep like the dead. [closes the door, Frida freaks out again]

[groans] I want to go back home.

I think it's kind of fun. We can pretend to be the mummies of the ancient Pharaohs!

[shrieks] You're not helping! [closes her coffin]

Stop drooling on me! [takes the comforter from Maria]

Hey!

[as Sergio comes over and cuddles with her] Ugh. Are you kidding me?!

[squawks; scared] Need a snuggle.

Ronnie Anne

Guys, it's been a long day. Let's just try to get some sleep.

Bobby

There's something in the coffin with me! [gets a kiss on the cheek from Fangs as he emerges from the coffin and screams]

Ronnie Anne

Abuela, please. We can’t stay here. It's too many people!

Mija, it might be hard, but at least we're not in Bad Luck City.

Ronnie Anne

[as Hector falls on her off of Lucy's bed, breaking a coffin] This is worse than bad luck.

I miss my choo-choo sheets.

I miss you not being here.

Bobby

Ugh! I hate cats!

They're so temperamental.

Couldn't agree more.

Furry bobos.

So greedy with their nine lives.

Ronnie Anne

Hmm. Bobby you're acting weird.

Yeah, even for you.

Bobby

I am? [Carlota's phone ringer goes off and switches to cat mode, walks up to Lalo and Sergio as Lalo's napping and wakes up; he and Lalo snarl at each other and start fighting]

[looking at her phone] Okay, this is bananas!

Ronnie Anne

Right?

Karen and Dana wore the same outfit to Rebecca's party.

Ronnie Anne

No, I mean Bobby. He's scratching, purring, and fighting with Lalo. [goes in and breaks up the fight]

[jumps out of Bobby's mouth] He's worse than a cat!

Ronnie Anne

[gasps] He's not worse, Bobby is a cat!

Guys, Artemio Alcaraz's review of Mama's art just went live.

Ronnie Anne

Nice, must be good right?

[squawks] Think again.

It's horrible!

What?! But he said her stuff was a wonder!

And a vision.

And breath-taking, I know. [reads the review] "Frida Puga-Casagrande's art is a wonder... I wonder how it could be so bad."

Ronnie Anne

What? Let me see that. [takes Carlota's phone, reading the rest] "Her sculptures are a vision of horror. While her painting is breath-taking in it's ability to make me feel disgust." [gasps in horror at the next part] "She should quit being an artist."

Bobby

Wow, none of those words mean what I thought they meant.

This will break Mama's heart.

Ronnie Anne

Not if she never sees it.

Bobby

Good idea! [grabs Carlota's phone and throws it in the trash, much to her annoyance]

[annoyed] Thanks, Bobby.

Okay, here's all of the money I took. [throws all money to the ground] With interest. [Alfredo's ghost annoyingly kicks it away] Oh come on, I've made amends, for everything, what more do you want?!

[flies into Carlos' nose, possessing him, taking control of his body] Bawk, bawk! Bawk, bawk! [picks up Sergio and pecks him] That's not the end of the story. Bawk, bawk!

[gasps] My dad's a chicken?!

[gasps in horror] CARLOS! [sobs] I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

Sergio, what else did you do to this chicken?!

What a shift. My vacation could not come at a better time. What happened? You look like you all just ran a marathon.

More like danced a marathon.

I just miss everything, don't I? Ronnie Anne your feet are swollen, you should be elevating them.

Ronnie Anne

Mom, no, I'm fine.

You are not fine. [looks at everyone] In fact, you all look pretty beat up.

I hurt Tía.

I hurt more.