RWRobin Ward
This is like when we started dating.
HCHughie Campbell
I don’t think that’s–I don’t think that’s true.
RRobin
Dude, I had to ask you out.
Well, excuse me for waiting. Ever hear of chivalry?
RRobin
Listen, this is about getting what you deserve. I’m killing myself at school because I think it’s gonna be worth it for both of us… You know, if we move in together.
Wait, what? Wait… [stutters] Hey, what was that? What’d you just say?
RRobin
Well, I mean, we can’t keep laying pipe at your dad’s place, trying to be all quiet, staring up at that dumb Billy Joel… [Hughie kisses her] poster.
Hey, don’t you ever besmirch Billy Jo–
[Robin suddenly disappears. Wind blows and blood splashes on Hughie’s face in slow motion. Hughie then looks to his right and sees A-Train panicking and covered in blood.]
[quickly] I can’t stop. I can’t stop, I can’t stop, I can’t stop, I can’t stop! I can't stop! [runs off]
[Hughie looks down and realizes he’s still holding Robin’s hands, but only her forearms remain]
[Starlight, the new member of The Seven, is given a tour of Vought Tower by The Deep. They enter the main conference room.]
ASAnnie/Starlight
[looks at a chair at the head of the table] That’s his, isn’t it?
Homelander’s? Yeah… but you’ll have your own soon. [pulls chair out] Here, come on. Give it a test drive. Come on. [pause; Annie stares at the chair and doesn’t move] Oh, you–you okay?
ASAnnie/Starlight
It’s just… I used to stand in the mirror, pretending to be where I am right now.
You know something? On my first day, I, uh… Well, I–I felt like a fraud. [Annie looks surprised] Yeah. But the good news is, everybody feels that way.
ASAnnie/Starlight
Thank you.
And hey, we’re a team now. We’ll help each other out. I bet growing up, you had a poster of Homelander on your wall, huh?
ASAnnie/Starlight
No, actually I… I don’t know. Homelander’s so… He’s like Jesus or something. If you wanna know the truth, I actually had a poster of you.
ASAnnie/Starlight
Yeah, yeah.
ASAnnie/Starlight
I kinda… I kinda had a schoolgirl crush on you.
ASAnnie/Starlight
Oh, God. I hope that’s not inappropriate to say.
No, no, no. It’s not inappropriate at all. It’s just–It’s kinda wild.
[Annie looks out the window for a moment, then turns around and sees The Deep has pulled his pants down and begun masturbating]
What? I mean, you said you had a crush on me. I figured that, you know…
[Annie hurriedly walks away in shock and disgust]
Whoa, whoa, wh-wh-whoa. Hey, look. You're gorgeous. I'm not–I'm not talking about sex, just a little bit of pole-smoking. [Annie continues making her way out] Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. It's just a question of how bad you wanna be in The Seven.
ASAnnie/Starlight
[beat; turns around to face the Deep] Excuse me?
[Annie’s powers flare up, shattering some nearby screen monitors and flickering the lights]
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey. Hey… Take it easy. Settle down. We’re just–We’re just talking. And look, I know that you’re powerful. I get it. Your powers are no joke. The thing is… I am number two around here. So, like, if I say so, you’d be out of here. Especially since you attacked me.
ASAnnie/Starlight
I what?
Yeah, look. [gestures towards the broken screens and starts walking up to Annie] I mean, Iowa’s sweetheart–the Defender of Des Moines–just went psycho on The Deep. I mean, that… that could put you out of the business. Yeah, I mean, home to Mommy, tail tucked between your legs. Just think of all those kids. I mean, the kids… Those kids who look up to you, they’d just be shattered. That’s not what you really want, right? [brief pause] Or, we come together as a team. You and me, we just roll with the punches for, like, three minutes maybe. It’s not a big deal. And then you know what happens? All your dreams come true.
[Hughie is working at the video store late at night and sees a man holding a nanny cam teddy bear]
You interested in a nanny cam? 'Cause we're actually running a special on that. Um, it's a pretty popular bear. There's cameras in the eyes.
BBBilly Butcher
Tell me, how many nannies shake their babies?
Y'know, a good hard shake. [shakes the bear] Like… Like tryin' to get ketchup out of a bottle. One percent? Less?
[puts the bear down] Funny, that. They sell a billion dollars worth of that shit worldwide. Goes to show you, doesn't it? The bollocks people will believe if you get 'em scared enough.
Cool. Cool, cool. Um, is there anything I can help you with today, or...?
I'm not gonna piss you about, Hughie. I heard what happened to Robin.
I'm–I'm sorry, who are you?
She wasn't in the street. She was one step off the fuckin' curb, and you didn't take the payoff.
Yeah. I said, who the hell are you? How do you know that?
Name's Butcher. Billy Butcher. [takes out an FBI badge] Listen, I was thinkin' that, uh, you and me should have a little bit of a chat.
[Cut to Hughie and Butcher walking down a street in downtown Manhattan]
You’re a Fed? You don’t sound like a Fed.
What, I can’t immigrate? There’s a giant green slapper with her arse in the harbour that says different.
You don’t really look like one either.
Like you’re starring in a porn version of The Matrix.
Well, it’s all right there in black and white.
Okay, uh, what exactly can I do for you?
No, you got it all wrong, Hughie. It's what I can do for you. You see, you ain't alone, son. Happens a lot more than you think. Supes lose hundreds of people each year to collateral damage.
No. C'mon, that would be all over the news. People would be screaming bloody murder.
Yeah, look, there might be the odd mention of it every now and again, like with Robin, but there's a shit sight more that happens that just gets swept right under the rug.
Ain't it obvious? Movie tickets, merchandising, theme parks, video games. A multi-billion dollar global industry supported by corporate lobbyists and politicians on both sides. But the main reason that you won't hear about it... is because the public don't wanna know about it. See, people love that cozy feeling that Supes give 'em. Some golden cunt to swoop outta the sky and save the day, so you don't gotta do it yourself. But if you knew half the shit they get up to... Ooh. Fuckin' diabolical. But that... is where I come in.
Come in to... to do what?
Spank the bastards when they get outta line.
[Annie is sitting on a park bench and on the verge of tears after a phone call with her mother. Hughie is sitting a few feet away when he notices her.]
Um, excuse me. I’m sorry, are–are you okay? [Annie looks at him] Just seemed like a tough call. [pause; Annie doesn’t say anything] Sorry. I don’t mean to bother you.
ASAnnie/Starlight
No. No, it’s okay. Uh… I’m fine. I’m just… I’m just having a bad day.
Yeah, me too. Is it like a work thing or a life thing?
ASAnnie/Starlight
It’s a work thing. You?
ASAnnie/Starlight
You know how you have this image of yourself? Like, I thought I was strong, you know? Like, made of steel. A fighter. And then, I was faced with this horrible situation with this asshole, and… I just heard my mom’s voice in my head: “Keep smiling. The show must go on.” And I didn’t fight. And now, I just feel sick. Partly because I did it, but mostly because… it turns out I’m not who I thought I was. [beat] Oh! Oh, I’m… sorry. I–I didn’t mean to just dump all of that onto you.
No, no, it’s totally fine that you dumped. Um, listen, do–do you like your job?
ASAnnie/Starlight
Oh, it’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted.
And it’s a good job? Like, you’re not selling kids smack?
ASAnnie/Starlight
No, it’s a great job. I could help a lot of people.
Thing is, I… used to know this girl, and we used to go skating at Rockefeller, and I'd be on the side with this death grip on the rails. She would just charge headfirst into the middle of the rink. And she wasn't… good. Like, she fell… a lot, but she was never scared. And she always used to say, “Just 'cause you fall on your ass doesn't mean you have to stay there.” So you fell on your ass, you know? That's not who you are. So who are you?
ASAnnie/Starlight
[pause; smiles and shrugs] I’m a fighter. I’m gonna fight. Yeah, I’m gonna take that son of a bitch’s head clean off his body.
Okay. Wow, that was… Okay. Cool. Little scary, but–but cool. [brief pause] I’m–I’m Hughie, by the way.
ASAnnie/Starlight
Annie. [shakes Hughie’s hand]
[Butcher and Hughie are parked outside Vought Tower to carry out their plan]
There's fuck-all security to worry about. In fact, they're a bunch of Muppets. [holds up bug] And the metal detector won't pick this up. Right? And what they'll probably do is take you through the security, and then up into the boardroom. Sit down. Be nice, congenial. Then, real polite-like, tell 'em you're gonna take a fake shit. Go into the bog, take the bug out. Peel back the plastic bit to reveal the sticky side. Put the plastic bit in the bog. Flush it. Then, go back into the boardroom, sit down–big smiles–plant the bug underneath the table. Easy-peasy Japanesey. Bob's your uncle. That's that.
That's that? That was–That was a lot! That–Hold on, can you just–Can you repeat it again? Just a little bit slower? Because I–
Hughie, calm down, alright? This is like that scene in The Matrix. Now, you could take the fuckin' red pill, right? Spend the rest of your life jackin' off, cryin' into your chai tea green latte, what the fuck. Or you could take the blue pill. Or is it the red pill? Anyway, take the other pill and quit bein' a cunt.
Which pill do you want me to take?
Just quit bein' a cunt. That's what I'm sayin'.
[Butcher brings his associate, Frenchie, along with Hughie to an abandoned restaurant, where they imprison Translucent]
What d'you think, Frenchie?
You just dropped the Moby fucking Dick of problems on my plate. That's what I think, okay? He can re-order the carbon on his skin into metamaterial. It's hard as diamonds. It's nearly impossible to penetrate.
Alright, how 'bout we suffocate him?
Some Dominicans already tried this, way back in '07.
They're all fucking dead. That's what happened.
Alright, then, fuck it. Electrocution. We'll just increase the amps.
You already hit him with enough to drop a water buffalo, and look. Might knock him out. Doesn't seem to kill him, huh? No. We need to pierce the skin somehow.
Well, how the hell are we gonna do that?
[pause; turns and stares at Hughie] We didn't bring him here for a fuckin' Happy Meal.
I don't–I thought we'd question him or something. I don't know, you get a–you get a hold of someone this big–
At Gitmo, we had to waterboard Khalid Sheikh Mohammed 183 times over six months to get him to talk just once. Now, we ain't got six months. I doubt we've even got six hours.
There are so many crazy things about what you just said. But right now, you're talking about randomly killing one of the most famous men on the planet. A goddamn national treasure. I mean… people tend to notice that kinda thing.
And if we let him go, what do you think The Seven will do to us? Hmm? You can't get A-Train if you're a greasy smear on the pavement.
MSMadelyn Stillwell
Did you hear about the mayor of Baltimore?
…Yeah. Yeah, heard his plane went down. Some sort of engine trouble.
Yeah, it's awful. I saw him on Tuesday. I had a meeting with him right here.
Wow. Well, hug your kids, right? 'Cause you never know what might happen.
So true. You know what's interesting? The Deep told me–and only me–that there were scorch marks on the mayor's engine. Almost as if from two small, high-intensity beams roughly the width of human eyes.
Say what you mean to say.
Your brand is hope, baseball, America, sunshine. You don't do vengeance.
Madelyn, I heard him through the wall. He was blackmailing you.
I am the last person you need to save.
Yeah, but I did it for you!
I know, but did the timing occur to you? I have half the Senate Appropriations Committee coming tonight.
[Homelander scoffs and chuckles in disbelief for a moment, then sits down]
[beat] How did he even know about Compound V?
We are not going to talk about that.
Oh, come on, Madelyn. You do not need to hide things from me. I love Vought as much as you do, and I can do more.
You can do more? You've already grossed $12.3 billion for us.
Right. So the pricks on 82 can take all the fucking credit? Empty fucking suits with Cornell degrees? Come on! I'm the one who's out there, not them! I'm the one who–who knows the audience. Who knows what's good for this company!
I know. I hear you, I do. But what I need right now is I need you to charm the shit out of those congressmen.
[glares at Stillwell] Right. 'Cause that's all I'm good for, huh? Smile, look pretty, say my lines. Whoop, whoop, whoop.
No, no. You just need to let me protect you.
Oh, you're gonna protect me?
Mmm-hmm. [pause; touches Homelander's cheek] Gods are pure… and they're perfect. And they're above it all. And they need to stay that way.
[Annie and The Deep are standing atop a dockside warehouse while they wait for robbers to arrive]
Oh, wow. What a surprise. A water crime. Fuck me running. I swear to God, they only call me when there's trouble at a dock. Or a river, or a lake, canal… a jetty. [chuckles] Fucking idiots. I could be doing so much more. But no, Vought just wants me to make my big pretty dives in the water and flash my fucking biceps for Instagram. I mean, sure, four million hits a day, but still. It's fucking demeaning. [pause; Annie is silent] What's your problem? You've had that pissy look on your face all night.
[The lights start flickering and buzzing around them]
Ooh, what? Is this about the other night again? [scoffs] Jesus Christ. [laughs] Cry me a fucking river, alright? I took my share of shit when I first got here, okay? Besides, you had a crush on me, remember?
ASAnnie/Starlight
That gives you no right–zero right–to do what you did, you pathetic asshole!
Hey, you shut your fucking mouth.
ASAnnie/Starlight
Or what? You'll sic a grouper on me?
I'll tell everyone you're a psycho. I'll go to Homelander.
ASAnnie/Starlight
No, you won't. See, I asked around. You're not number two around here. You're just the fish guy. Everyone thinks you're a joke. Me most of all. I cannot believe I fell for your crap.
ASAnnie/Starlight
You ever touch me again… [her eyes light up] I will burn your eyes out. Understand me?
[Hughie brings a glass of water to the room where an invisible Translucent is caged]
Hi. I thought you might be thirsty, so…
[He sets the glass down on the floor and opens a grate on the cage. Translucent doesn't react.]
Well, if you don't want it, I can always–
[Translucent picks up the glass and drinks from it]
So listen, I need to ask you some questions about A-Train. When he burst through that woman the other day–Robin Ward. I–I need to know why. Where was he going? What was he doing?
Why? What was she to you? Sister? Girlfriend? [pause; Hughie says nothing] Girlfriend. [sighs] That's what all this is about? Christ. What makes you think I know anything about it?
I know you and A-Train were tight. You guys came up together.
What are you, a fucking fan?!
Listen… Those two guys in there, they wanna kill you, okay? So you give me something, maybe I can–
What? Hold them off? 'Cause they hang on your every word. You're the big man around here.
Okay, you don't wanna talk, don't talk. I tried. Good luck.
[As Hughie is about to leave the room, Translucent stops him]
Buddy, my superpower ain't invisibility. [pause; makes himself visible] You know that, right? It's reading people. Watching them when they think they're alone. I see people for who they really are. I see you too, pal.
Right. [kneels down to eye level with Translucent] 'Cause you know me so well, right?
Yeah. I know you're trying your damnedest to be tough. It's a little adorable, but the truth is… you're terrified. Shitting in your tightie-whities 'cause you're in over your head, fucked. And you know it. Hughie, I even kinda feel for you. Your girl died, and we do crazy shit when we got broken hearts. But now every instinct is screaming at you to head for the hills, and you should listen to that instinct.
Unless we kill you first.
How? I got invulnerable skin. I'm a fucking superhero, guy. We fight gangs and terrorists. We save the world daily. I've stood in front of thousands of screaming fans, all of them creaming their jeans. …Who are you? A water balloon filled with blood and meat. Homelander's gonna find me, and when he does, he's gonna burst you wide open. I'm gonna make it home in time for cocktails. 'Cause that's who you are, and that's who I am. You're not the hero of this story, and I'm not the one who's trapped.
[beat] Well, good luck. I tried.
Great chat. Run for the hills, Hughie.
AAnika
Homelander. Um… Welcome to Crime Analytics. Would you like a Red Bull?
Have you found Translucent yet?
AAnika
Uh, no. But security's on it.
He's been missing over 24 hours. Is he in danger?
Do you even know? [pause; Anika says nothing] Forget it. I'll find him myself. What's his last known position, please?
AAnika
Why don't I just call Ms. Stillwell.
No. No, no, no, no, no. You're talking to me.
AAnika
Well, I'm not sure I'm supposed to be talking to you.
Anika. That's a beautiful name. Listen, Anika. I'm the Homelander, and I can do whatever the fuck I want, okay? [pushes Anika's chair in] Now, [sternly] Translucent's last known position. Please.
What the…? Something doesn't feel right.
I'm not ashamed to admit I have outdone myself. [to Translucent] Now, the problem is the skin, no? It's hard like diamonds. But then I realized, it is just your shell that is hard, huh? Like a turtle. But your insides, they're like the rest of ours: Soft. So, how do you get to the squishy insides? Through the mouth? Non. The stomach acid, the gag reflex… if I stick something down your throat, you may vomit it up. There's truly only one way.
The fuck did you do to me?
He stuck a lump of plastique up your bum, son.
[Annie meets with some marketing people, along with Stillwell and Ashley]
This is Seth and Evan from marketing.
They have some brilliant ideas on how to capitalize on all the buzz. Gentlemen?
Okay. Now, small-town Iowa girl–unexpected child prodigy–is chosen for The Seven.
EEvan
Destiny knocks on the girl next door's door, and she answers, to fight for truth and justice side by side with her heroes.
The Big Apple is rough, tumble. It's got worms. Muggers and rapists and thieves, oh, my! Dorothy is not in Kansas anymore!
EEvan
Or Iowa. Poor girl gets knocked around by something fierce. Kicked while she's down.
So what does she do? Does she cry in her milk? Does she quit?
She adapts! She transforms!
EEvan
Embraces her feminine strengths!
Good-bye, Yellow Brick Road!
EEvan
And hello, Starlight!
[A fashion designer, Isadora, pulls back the fabric to show a new Starlight outfit, which is a skimpier version of her old one]
ASAnnie/Starlight
I can't wear that.
ASAnnie/Starlight
Seriously? It's just… It's not me.
IIsadora
I designed Homelander's suit. This isn't my first rodeo.
You're wrong. It's totally you. It's bold, it's brave, it's feminist.
ASAnnie/Starlight
How is that feminist?
EEvan
It's empowering. It says you're confident in your own skin, and you're not afraid to show it.
Most importantly, it tells the story. Of your transformation. Of what you're going through.
ASAnnie/Starlight
How exactly do you know what I'm going through, exactly? I'm sorry. I–I appreciate the effort. I really do, but I'm fine with my old outfit.
ASAnnie/Starlight
Excuse me?
Starlight, like I said before, this is a partnership. In a partnership, there is give and there is take.
ASAnnie/Starlight
It's my body. I have the right to choose how much of it I show.
That is true. You do. You just won't be doing it in The Seven, unless it is wrapped in that.
[Butcher recruits his old partner, Mother's Milk, to the team. M.M. and Frenchie immediately tense up when they see each other]
MSMother's Milk
Motherfucker!
[They both approach each other with knives. Butcher gets in between them.]
Butcher, who is this guy?!
You'll give the game away!
MSMother's Milk
Not until this frog gets what's coming.
The only thing that is coming is me on your mother's titties!
MSMother's Milk
Let me throw it at him, bitch!
MSMother's Milk
We had an agreement about him.
We agreed to put a pin in it, alright?
MSMother's Milk
There was no pin! I don't trust this French whore!
I am more American than you, you racist piece of shit!
Nothing! It is water under the bridge!
MSMother's Milk
[to Frenchie] You tell that to Mallory's grandkids. Tell them it's water under the bridge.
Alright, the both of you, knock it on the head, now!
[The standoff is interrupted by a cell phone ringing]
MSMother's Milk
…Shit! [answers phone] Hey, Monique. How you doin', baby? Ooh, I forgot to marinade the tilapia. I am so sorry, sweetheart. [pause] Okay, how 'bout this? How about on my way home from work, I stop by DeLuca's, pick up two fat tenderloins, some portobello mushrooms, that pinot that you love so much. Yeah, baby. Okay, I–I gotta go. Alright, sweetheart. Yeah. Me, too. …Baby, I just–Uh, you're right. You're right. I love you, too. Okay. Bye.
[Mother's Milk makes kissing noises and hangs up. Frenchie and Butcher burst out laughing.]
MSMother's Milk
Fuck all of ya'll, okay?
Alright, alright. [to M.M. and Frenchie] Listen, you two knobbers kiss and make up, yeah? We got a fuckin' job to do.
