Kessler quotes from The Boys

Billy Butcher.

Joe Kessler. Fuck me, how long's it been?

I'd say eleven years, but officially speaking, none of that shit show ever happened.

Then how come I remember you high on opium, rimmin' out the General's wife?

Well, fuck you. [laughs along with Butcher and hugs him] Hey, let me buy you a bad cup of coffee.

Demoted from your own fucking team. What's your shitty code name again?

The Boys.

Oof. Who came up with that shit? Why you putting up with it? Walk away.

No, my son, I've got plans and schemes. I'll be back at the head of the table in no time.

Well, you better. You know, a lot of the guys are thinking you got benched at the worst possible time. You know, Mallory's so focused on killing the VP-elect 'cause that's what Singer wants, and half of goddamn Langley's on it.

Well, you know Grace. She's always been a bit of a political animal.

And what are you focused on?

Homelander. He killed that poor cunt in broad daylight, and they fuckin' cheered. I mean, what d'you think that taught him, eh? No. We're whistlin' away towards a fuckin' apocalypse, and Grace's eye ain't on the ball.

You had a clean shot at him, right? With Soldier Boy? You didn't take it. Was your eye on the ball?

Why do I get the feeling we ain't just bumped into each other?

You remember the Panjshir Valley?

Yeah. Pretty hard to forget.

You dragged me out of there and dropped how many bodies to do it, without giving it a second fucking thought.

And yet you still didn't name your son after me, eh?

We need someone like you, Billy. Right fucking now. Before the Supes start rounding us up and dumping us off in camps.

There’s enough here to take down a bull elephant.

Ten bull elephants. I’m not takin' any chances. How you gonna get close enough to use it?

If I can get Ryan here, I can dose him. You just be ready.

He’s not gonna be real happy with us when he wakes up.

Grace built the Hazlet Safe House with the specific intention of hot-boxin' Supes. It’ll hold Ryan.

Not for long.

Then we better work fast. Like when we deprogrammed them two ISIL lads, eh?

And if he doesn’t listen to us?

Homelander

[on TV] My son, Ryan.

…Then we keep him high on halothane till he does. Now listen here, Joe. We get Ryan’s head clear, and that’s it, alright? Nothing about trainin' him up to top Homelander.

So you’ve said.

I mean it, Joe. Would you train your boy up to be a killer?

Listen, brother. You don’t trust me, go back to your team. Oh, wait.

Fuck all this cloak and dagger shite. It’s bloody freezin' out here.

Well, I mean, I was thinking we could meet in your mom’s pussy, but you know, I wanted someplace more private.

[chuckles softly] So, what you thinkin'?

Butcher, listen. How about we do this job, just you and me?

I don’t know, Joe. It’s a bit all of a sudden, innit?

Billy… your team is a joke. You think I haven’t noticed? M.M.’s on the verge of a breakdown, Frenchie’s a fucking junkie, Hughie is a gaping wet pussy. And the two Supes on your side? Man, for whatever reason, you have a blind spot for them.

Alright, I’ll give you Starlight. But Kimiko’s a bloody good weapon, and the rest of them are still up to scratch.

Well, I don’t get you. I don’t. Half your brain is a fucking tumor. This is your last shot at Homelander, and now you decide to go soft? Yeah, they are decent people. But you and me, we don’t belong with decent.

[chuckles] Now, see? That is classic Butcher.

Sameer

You get away from me! Get away from me!

Alright, take it easy. I ain’t gonna hurt ya. Well, not no more. It was just enough to convince people.

Sameer

You chopped off my fucking leg!

Yes, I did. I ain’t gonna sugarcoat it. Your football days are over, but don’t you worry. We’ll patch you up right as rain, and you’ll be back to work in no time.

Sameer

Work? What work?

Well, what the fuck do you think? You’re gonna make us some more of that virus.

Well, looky here. Christmas came early, Sameer.

Nicked it off a French bloke. Should be enough to get you started.

Sameer

[coughs] I won’t do it.

The fuck you won’t.

Sameer

Do what you want to me, but I can't–I can’t do this for you.

Listen. One dose strong enough to top Homelander. And then, you can go back to what’s-her-name, and you don’t gotta see me no more. But this first.

Sameer

You don’t understand. I can’t. It’s what we realized in the lab. To make the virus strong enough to kill Homelander would evolve it into something unstable.

What d'you mean, unstable?

Sameer

Airborne, highly contagious, super lethal. No one with Compound V in their bloodstream would be safe.

A global fucking pandemic.

Sameer

We’re not just talking about killing Homelander. We’re talking about killing every Supe on Earth.

Becca

[appearing behind Butcher] That’s Annie, Kimiko…

Ryan.

Sameer

Vicky, Zoe. [shakes his head] I’m sorry. But when they say shit’s fallen into the wrong hands… they mean your hands.

This is beyond our wildest dreams, man. Dude just gave us the silver bullet. We can wipe them all out.

Becca

Billy, you cannot go along with this.

Listen, mate. No one ever said nothing about genocide.

Is that a fucking joke?

Becca

He’s insane.

Who was it that said, “They all gotta go? Every fucking last one of ’em?”

Becca

He’s talking about murder, Billy. Of thousands.

Think how much better the world would be.

Becca

And a lot of them are innocent, okay? I know you–

Shut your fucking cake hole, bitch!

[pause] Wait a minute… [stammers] You can see her?

…What the fuck’s that supposed to mean? You’re me?

I mean, out of all the fucking people that your festering fucked-up brain could’ve conjured up, you picked me. The real Joe Kessler? He’s dead in the Panjshir Valley, motherfucker. You never dragged me out. You left me to die.

No. No, I’d remember that. I’d fuckin' remember that.

Unless of course you’ve got a big old, fat, V’d-up brain tumor, you cunt. Which is why you're seeing me in the first place. [pause; Butcher looks at Becca] I killed Ezekiel for you. I am inside of you. I am you… which is why when I tell you you wanna do this, I am literally telling you that you fucking wanna do this. So don’t you worry, Billy, my boy. [smiles] Daddy’s home.

Where the fuck you been?

[coughs] Shittin’ a kidney. Alright, listen up. Now, don’t get your knickers in a twist, but…

You remember Neuman’s dearly departed virus bloke, Dr. Sameer Shah?

I’m serious, Butcher. Don’t.

Well, funny story. Turns out he ain’t that dead. He’s been workin' for me, makin' some more of that virus.

What the fuck?

Hughie

Wait, all they found was…

Goddamn it, you asshole.

Hughie

Did you cut off his leg?!

Alright, alright. Keep your hair on.

So, basically, you’ve been amputatin’ motherfuckers while working on a secret bioweapon, and we’re the ones that are supposed to chill?

You are pissing away our best shot.

Now, the trouble is, we’ve hit a slight snag. He can’t make it deadly enough to top Homelander without causin' a global pandemic.

Jesus.

Wait… Genocide. You’re talking about Supe genocide. That’s…

Hughie

Yeah, Butcher, even for you this is…

Which is why I’m fuckin' tellin' you, innit? You think I want that much blood on me hands?

Yeah, you do. You wanna fuckin' swim in it.

[to Kessler] No, I don’t! [pause; to the Boys] No, I do not. So to keep the bug from burnin' through you lot like wildfire, I thought ol’ Sameer could do with a bit of a hand.

Hughie

From who?

A question both insightful and germane, my son. [pause; turns around] Ah, here he is. Speak of the devil.

Frenchie

Bonjour.

How the fuck did you get out?

I had Mallory pull a few strings.

Frenchie

Just to be clear, this was against my will. I’d rather fuck a jar of fishing lures than to be free.

Hughie

Oh, cool. Cool.

Alright, then. Happy reunions. So, Frenchie will help sort the virus. We’ll use it on Homelander and the VP, and that’s it. No one else.

Listen… You should go on ahead.

Yeah, what?

Without me. I gotta talk to Monique. It’s–

Oh, come off it. Don’t leave me alone with this lot.

Wait, what?

He ain’t goin'.

Hughie

[to M.M.] You’re not going? Why?

Alright, so we gonna make this official? [to Butcher] Take a knee, I’ll knight you with my dick. You’re back in charge of The Boys again, alright? I’m better off doing research anyway.

No, you can’t do this.

You don’t gotta do this.

Yeah, he does. This is good for us.

You can’t. Things are bad already without this fucking asshole back.

Look what I gotta deal with.

Listen, it ain’t a debate, you guys. I passed out during a mission. I ain’t cut out to be a skipper… but he is. So, it’s him. [to Butcher] It’s you. End of story.

You know, if you need any help…

I don’t need your help.

Really? Seems to me you're shitting in a bedpan and days away from being planted. And what do you have to show for it? I mean, Singer–He’s as good as dead. Homelander, he won. And you… you gave away the virus–the one fuckin' weapon that could’ve stopped him! But we are gonna turn that frown upside down, my friend. You know why? ‘Cause you still have me.

You ain’t even fuckin' real.

Well, now, that’s an interesting philosophical question. See, what is real are the fucking V’d up tumors that are mushrooming inside your guts and noggin. Super cancer! What is real is that piece of you that wants to burn every fucking Supe on Earth. How is it you think you ripped Ezekiel into fun-sized little chunks? I’m the one that gave you the juice that you needed, and I can do it again. All you have to do… is hold up your end of the bargain.

Bargain? What fuckin' bargain?

We go all the way. I mean, come on, champ. What’s a little genocide between friends?

Just fuck off and let me die in peace, would you?

Mallory

Wish I could.

Since you’re here… [takes out a cigarette] be a doll and fetch us a pint, would ya? [Mallory rolls her eyes at him] Come on, don’t be a cunt. I’m fuckin' dyin' here.

Mallory

Your dying’s been pretty high on my wish list lately.

I appreciate what you’re doin' here for me.

Mallory

Not one bit of this is for you.

Alright, then. Give us me phone. We got work to do.

How are you two feeling?

Why don't you just fuck off outta my head and I'll tell ya.

I already know. You wanna rip me in two, which makes me a tiny bit erect, not gonna lie. But believe me… I'd rather not be in that rat's nest of yours. So much pain, regret and abject failure. Like with this fucking guy.

[chuckles; sighs] I got a little bit of an erection myself. You miss me?

Hughie

Who's this?

He ain't real. He's just fuckin' with us.

Come on, man. [to Hughie] Joseph Alan Kessler. I served with Bill. Actually, you know what? More than that. Billy and I… [makes a hand heart gesture] we were besties. See, the problem you're having is that curdled cottage cheese you got inside your skull that remembers me as being some sort of a sociopath head case. That hurts my feelings, Billy. It’s not true. That wasn’t me. No, that was always you. You know, sometimes, Billy’d get real friggin’ blitzed. All quiet and sullen. And then he’d admit that he had this darkness inside of him. A shark that couldn’t stop. [pause] You see, Billy had no conscience. So, I was there to be that for him. Pull him back when he went too far. [to Butcher] Does that ring any bells?

Just ignore him, Hughie. It’s just psyops bollocks. That’s all. Just bollocks.

Do you remember when the night finally came to cash that check? Panjshir Valley. We were there to take out this mid-level ISIS clown. Billy got us into the compound. The problem is that we got this call that this asshat had a hundred men that were minutes behind us. Now, any sane command leader, they’d pull their men out. Make sure they were safe. But not Billy, no. See, Billy got that little glint in his eye. Wouldn’t give the order, so I got in his face. I screamed at him, "The target’s not worth it. The target wasn’t worth it!" [beat] Nothing, so I popped him one. Smacked him right there on the forehead, got him this sweet little scar you see. But Billy? Well, Billy didn’t budge. No. And sure as shit… we were surrounded. Good news is that old Butcher, he got his target. The issue was that Billy was the only member of the unit to walk out of there alive. So, he will ask you to pull him back. But the truth of the matter is, is you are fucked when you get in his way. Lot of dead canaries in old Billy Butcher’s coal mine. Anyway… Good luck with that, Hughie.

Why don’t you just piss off, you fuckin' nonce? We ain’t tellin' you shite.

You don’t have to tell me “shite.” I know everything. I’ve been inside your cassava the whole fucking time. I’ve just been distracting you. Let’s see, Sage is in an abandoned school in Erie, Pennsylvania, and Kimiko? Seriously? You’re gonna saddle her with Soldier Boy’s power blast? Are you fucking insane? [laughs] Homelander is gonna love this shit. Alright, boys. I’ll see you soon.