Lamplighter quotes from The Boys

Hey, what the hell is going on here, huh? You all are juicing people with motherfuckin' Compound V, only to burn 'em alive. Why?

Lamplighter

Maybe I just like watching people burn. [to Frenchie] I remember you, you know? You were tailing me the night that I torched those kids. So why didn't you stop me? Maybe you like watching people burn, too.

Frenchie

Why are we still alive?

Lamplighter

Dumb luck?

Frenchie

No. I mean that night. We went underground for months… but you never came for us. Not you, not Homelander. Why?

Lamplighter

You're disappointed we didn't kill you?

Frenchie

I thought The Seven always retaliates, no?

Lamplighter

You're nobody. Not worth it.

Frenchie

[beat; looks at M.M.] You didn't tell them, did you? Why wouldn't you tell them?

Lamplighter

Who says I didn't?

Frenchie

I figured you'd boast about it to Homelander. Must've been thrilling for you.

Lamplighter

I'm not a fucking animal.

Frenchie

Only a fucking animal would do what you did.

Lamplighter

Drop it.

Frenchie

You murdered innocent children.

Lamplighter

Shut the fuck up.

Frenchie

You watched them burn alive, crying for their mama! If that's not an animal, then what is, huh?!

Lamplighter

I didn't know! I didn't know they were gonna be in that bed. It was supposed to be your boss. [pause] Then, they started screaming… but it was too late.

So what? Are we supposed to feel bad for you now? Fuck you.

Lamplighter

I don't want anything from you. [to Frenchie] But you… I saw you following me that night… and then you disappeared. I keep asking myself why. Why didn't you stop me? [beat] Why didn't you?

Good question.

Frenchie

[to Lamplighter] My best friend OD'd and I left to save him that night. Why I didn't stop you. You were at a party, I was away for thirty minutes. Came back, you were gone.

Lamplighter

Did he live? Your friend?

Frenchie

Oui. But I never saw him again, and… then he died a few months later. Another overdose.

Are you serious? Frenchie, why…? Why didn't you ever tell us?

Frenchie

What difference would it make?

After all these years, man? We would've left you off the hook.

Frenchie

What makes you think I want to be let off the hook, huh?

Lamplighter

What do you wanna watch next? Uh, "Translucent: The Invisible Cock". "Queen Maeve: Pleasure Slave". Yeah, "Big Black Noir". Oh, "Starlight Pulls an A-Train".

Hughie

I'm good. I'm good, thank you.

Lamplighter

Okay. Different strokes, man.

Hughie

Please don't say that in this context. [pause] You know, this isn't healthy, man. You can't watch porn while the… sun's out.

Lamplighter

Look, if I get up at that hearing, I'm dead anyway. What difference does it make?

Hughie

Okay.

Lamplighter

Drop the remote, or I'll burn your fucking face off.

Lamplighter

Did you know I was a prodigy? A fucking prodigy. I lit my first fire at four, burned my whole house down. My dad… he was so proud. "My son's a Supe". [pause] I was gonna do great things. I almost did. Now, look at me. I'm like the cuck in the porn, sitting on the sidelines while the real heroes are out there doing the fucking.

Hughie

You wanna know why they left me to babysit you?

Lamplighter

Because you're useless?

Hughie

My mom… she, uh… [sighs] Never mind. After she was gone, I watched my dad do… nothing his whole life. But me, I thought I'd finally found… something. I thought I found what I was meant to do. But it turns out… I'm shit at that as well. You're not the cuck. I'm… the cuck.

Lamplighter

Actually, you're worse. You're the cuck fluffer.

Hughie

Oh, my God. Fuck.

Lamplighter

I bet you she's in 42D.

Hughie

[tries calling Butcher on his phone] Come on, Butcher. Where are you?

Lamplighter

If she's still alive.

Hughie

Wait, what's 42D?

Lamplighter

At the Tower. Supe-proof, mostly. Steel walls, six feet thick.

Hughie

How do I get in?

Lamplighter

Into the Tower? You don't. Sorry, man, but she's probably dead.

Hughie

There's gotta be something… A secret entrance?

Lamplighter

Maybe one or two, but forget it, man. It's crazy.

Hughie

Okay, show me. Come with me.

Lamplighter

You're still fucked up.

Hughie

Exactly why I need your help.

Lamplighter

Get your friends.

Hughie

Butcher isn't picking up. The others are halfway across the state. We gotta go! Now! Listen, Vought screwed you over, right? They're trying to do the same thing to her.

Lamplighter

This shit is over for me. My whole life is over, okay?

Hughie

This is your last chance to be the hero again. Come on. Do you wanna be the cuck or do you wanna be the guy who… fucks the wife?

Lamplighter

[pause] Okay, yeah.

Hughie

Yeah, let's go fuck the wife. Consensually.