Neuman quotes from The Boys

Mallory

Put away that petulant look before you hurt someone with it.

I should be chuffed we're pissin' away the best asset we ever got our mitts on.

Mallory

And your plan would be?

Same as always: Squeeze the cunt until he gives up the next cunt, then kill the fuck when we're done.

Mallory

I have no doubt you'd be happy with that unending cycle of brutality.

How can you not want blood for what he done?

Mallory

He's willing to speak against Vought at the hearing. We've never had Congress on our side before.

Congress? Please. What a bunch of corrupt fuckin' cunts they are.

Oh, come on. You're not the first person to call me a cunt, Mr. Butcher. I'm starting to think it's like a... badge of honor.

Term of endearment where I come from, love.

Mallory

[to Neuman] Well?

Opposition's gonna have a field day with him. Disgruntled ex-Supe… I am fairly sure he's fucked half the Sacred Heart cheerleading squad. But yeah, he'll be a good witness. It's not enough, though.

Not enough? If torturin' and burnin' a bunch of mentals on Vought's say-so ain't enough for you Muppets, then what the fuck are you good for, huh? A strongly-worded tweet?

Hugh Campbell. [shakes Hughie's hand] I don't know how to repay you for what you did.

Hughie

You know, I can think of a way.

Oh?

Hughie

You can... give me a job.

You serious? What about your team?

Hughie

Don't get me wrong, I–I still wanna fight Vought. I just... I wanna do it the right way. Not covered in quite as many guts. Look, the truth is, I never totally fit in with the guys. And... I think it's time I stand on my own two feet.

They know you're here?

Hughie

I haven't told them yet.

When can you start?

Give me a bite.

Hughie

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You want the Valtrex before or after?

You love that bagel so much you're gonna fake herpes?

Hughie

I could have herpes. You don't think I could have herpes?

[smirks] How'd surveillance go with Termite last night?

Hughie

You know, I haven't checked in with Butcher yet, but… I'm sure it went fine. [pause; Neuman gives him a look of uncertainty] Don't–No, don't give me that face.

I'll bet you a crisp $100 bill something got fucked up.

Hughie

You don't know that.

[holds her hand out] Okay, take the bet.

Hughie

…I'm–I'm not gonna take the bet, but uh… [Neuman takes the bagel from him] Wow, really?

Mm-hmm.

Hughie

Okay, still, Butcher delivers every time.

And I have to apologize for him every time. Look, Butcher's the guy you want in a shooting war. No question. But we're in peacetime. [eats the bagel] Oh, my God. So worth the herpes.

Who's Nadia?

Hughie

Nadia?

Yeah, Scotty said some guy came in yesterday, asking for Nadia.

Hughie

Yeah. Yeah, no, there was–there was a guy, and he... he was looking at your picture, he said your name was Nadia. Said he knew you… from, like, way back when.

You weren't gonna tell me?

Hughie

Uh, no. I mean, it was just some guy off his meds, seemed like. Yeah.

I'm sorry. I–I mean, you're missing work, your hand. A lot going on. Is there something I should know?

He was with me. I'm sorry for stealing him away from you, but… we had some things that we needed to discuss. Very loudly, actually. We made quite the scene at Panera.

Hughie

Oh.

I mean, it's a miracle nobody recognized me.

Hughie

Yeah, sorry. I was–I was trying to preserve just a tiny, little shred of my dignity, but uh… we had a fight.

We didn't leave things in the greatest place, so I thought I would come by and…

Hughie

Check up on me?

Well, I was worried about you.

Hughie

Yeah, well, you know I can handle some things by myself, right?

Okay, I'm just trying to help.

Hughie

I don't always need your help. I mean, you don't have to treat me like I'm a kid.

Here I was thinking that I was treating you like my boyfriend.

Hughie

Well, you–

You know, this is actually none of my business, so I'm just–I'm gonna go. Good luck with all of that. Oh, and Hughie?

Hughie

Yeah?

Cut her some slack. You shouldn't be afraid of a powerful woman.

Hey, so… where's Hughie?

Oh, he's just camping with his dad for a couple days.

[laughs] Okay. Okay, good. Great. I thought he was avoiding me or something, you know… 'cause he was scared I was gonna pop his head.

[beat; swallows hard] Hmm?

Come on, Annie. [sees Annie's eyes glowing] Put them away. I'm not gonna hurt you or Hughie or your families. [Annie blinks and her eyes return to normal] Besides, you'd lose.

Then, why are you here?

Because I wanna help you.

Huh. "Help". From the psycho who blew up Congress.

Look, most of those guys passed around deepfakes of me on the House floor blowing bin Laden, so I'm not exactly overwhelmed with sympathy. Annie, you need me. You're all alone. I mean, come on. That "#Homelight" shit? That looks like you're in a hostage video. Blink twice if I'm wrong. And what, you gotta play nice with the guy that throat-fucked you on your first day of work? And Maeve? They say Maeve is in rehab, but you and I both know she's probably dead. I'm all you got. Come on, Annie. You and I were friends. None of that has changed for me.

Are you ever gonna get to the point?

You have 193 million Instagram followers. Lend me your influence, and I'll lend you mine. I can protect you from Homelander. You'll finally be team captain for real. And in return, you help me goose my numbers. I can finally get my education reform bill passed. We can make things better, Annie. For my daughter. For a lot of daughters. Come on, what do you say?

[pause] You're right. This whole place… I'm so fucking tired… of listening to people tell me I need to be shitty in order to win. Fuck you. And fuck Homelander, and fuck Vought and this "whatever it takes" crap. You're just gonna end up sitting on top of the steaming pile of shit that you built. I'm done. I'm fucking done. I'm not doing it anymore.

You're not gonna be doing anything if Homelander kills you.

Yeah, maybe. But then I'll know I'm not working with a fucking nutjob. So, either pop my head or get the hell out.

[beat; gets up] Hey, keep this between us. It'd be really tough to take out America's sweetheart, but not impossible.

Hughie

You sure you wanna do this?

I don't need it. [shakes her head] I don't. The suit never gave me any power. And Vought sure as shit didn't. [Hughie gives Annie her old boots to throw away] It's always just been me.

[pause; clears his throat] Uh, Annie?

Mm-hmm?

You know, we're in a historic building. You need to double-knot...

Okay.

… and bag your trash if you're gonna be working here.

Butcher isn't gonna like it.

Frenchie

Butcher can suck my shit. From now on, this is a democracy, huh? I say you're one of The Boys.

Me, too.

Hughie

Oh, fuck.

[on TV] After the tragic drowning of presumptive VP candidate Lamar Bishop, we go live to the Singer campaign in Sioux Falls, where Dakota Bob just announced his new running mate.

[on TV] What would you like to say to the American people?

[on TV] As the next Vice President, I will work hard to provide a safe and secure future for all citizens on both sides of the political divide.

[on TV] And that's why I am so proud to have her on my team.

Well… That bitch has definitely gotta go.

Hughie

Thank Christ. Can we go now? [recoils in shock when he sees Neuman] Jesus!

Hey, Hughie.

Hughie

Hey.

You gotta teach Butcher the meaning of the word "covert". He just got made by a 12-year-old.

Hughie

You mean Zoe, who just murdered two guys? Vic, you–you shot your own daughter up with V? How could you do that to her?

I needed to keep her safe.

Hughie

Safe? You turned her into a fucking monster. Like you.

I'm sorry. That sounds like the pot calling the kettle a teleporting dude with his dick out.

Hughie

Worst mistake I ever made. [pause] Vic, you and me, we were… We were like family. I mean… Was everything just… bullshit?

I almost told you once. That night of the blackout, you remember? You brought every bodega snack you could carry for Zoe. We played Uno with her for hours until the lights came back on. And I thought… you were one of my closest friends. I mean, hell, you're dating a Supe. If anyone would understand, it'd be you, right?

Hughie

Why didn't you tell me?

I was scared.

Hughie

Scared you'd have to pop my head.

I was scared to lose you. [Hughie sighs] I always cared about you, Hughie. That part was real.

Hughie

Hey, Vicky… Fuck you!

Seriously? [scoffs] I have to be on TV in, like, ten minutes, you fuckin' asshole!

Hughie

We're gonna out you! We're gonna go to the press, tell them you blew up Congress! I still–I still got the Red River files!

Okay, okay, okay. Have you ever seen WarGames? What am I saying, look at you. Of course you've seen fucking WarGames.

Hughie

We're making jokes?

Mutually assured destruction. I hurt you, you out me. You out me, I kill everyone you've ever loved. The only thing that makes sense is a truce.

Or Plan B.

Hughie

Jesus, fuck!

[groans] How is it you guys are actually getting worse at your jobs? [hears her phone chime and checks it] Mmm. They just called Arizona. Guess I better go change.

What’d you find?

Frenchie

It’s what I did not. See, the labels mark each iteration of this virus. Somebody’s been running tests, but now… it’s all gone.

What? [Frenchie, whose nose is also bleeding, points at M.M.'s nose] Holy shit.

Fucking bitch.

Easy.

Edgar

Victoria. You’re looking well.

You think I wouldn’t know the minute you and your ankle monitor stepped out of that prison?

Edgar

I don’t recall giving you permission to turn my rec room into a virology lab.

You brought these assholes here? They want to kill me.

Edgar

I’m sorry. Are you upset that I betrayed you?

Oi, knock it off, you two. This ain’t Family Pies.

[to Butcher] You have five seconds to tell me what you did to Sameer, or I paint this fucking room red.

Who the fuck’s Sameer?

Edgar

[to Annie as she makes the lights flicker] Enough. [to Neuman] So, you brought in Sameer. Smart. That’s what I’d have done. But whatever happened to him, it wasn’t us. We should find him together.

You’re fucking kidding me.

Edgar

If I’m not mistaken, you hurt these people, they expose you as a super-abled killer, yes? Then I’m afraid that we are at a stalemate. You might as well use their expertise. At the very least, they’re effective cannon fodder.

[sarcastically] Thanks. That's really nice of you.

Zoe’s not here, is she? Because… [Neuman shakes her head] No?

No, no. She’s okay. She’s okay.

Sameer

Okay, good.

Wait… Oh, my God, is that Zoe’s dad?

Edgar

Dr. Shah was my top man at Vought R&D before he went behind my back and deflowered my daughter.

Okay, I was twenty–thoroughly deflowered–and this isn’t the time or the place. [to Sameer] What happened?

Sameer

We gave V to a hamster, so we could test the virus on it.

Frenchie

Oh, a V’d-up hamster was your first mistake, mon ami.

Sameer

It got loose. Trashed the lab. We ran, but the V had already leaked into the groundwater.

Is the virus gone?

Sameer

…Yes.

Fuck.

Sameer

Except for, uh… [holds up a syringe filled with the virus] Except for one dose.

Okay.

Hey, how transmissible is that?

Sameer

Not very. Only through bodily fluid. Blood, saliva… semen.

Okay, so we inject it into [motions at Henry's body] your dead buddy over here as bait, and then we put him outside to infect the crazy fucking flying sheep!

Frenchie

This man is in no condition to fuck a sheep.

Edgar

They would eat him.

Frenchie

Oh…

Bollocks. That’s the only dose. I say we fuckin' leg it!

Butcher’s right, it’s too valuable.

Okay, we run, we don’t all make it.

Darwinism, love. Don’t gotta be the fastest, just not the slowest.

No fucking way!

Enough. Not now.

Edgar

[to Neuman] I won’t be able to outrun them.

Oh, don’t you cry for that cunt! He’s just tryin' to nick Zoe from you. That’s his whole fuckin' plan, innit?

Edgar

He’s lying.

Sorry, Stanny. Just business.

Guys, stop.

Edgar

Son of a bitch.

I should’ve fucking known.

M.M. could die, okay?! Or Frenchie! I mean, you really don’t care who you just throw to the wolves?

No, not really.

You’re a monster, and I’m not letting you do this.

Or what? You gonna go stark ravin' like you did with Firecracker? I got the head popper and you can’t even get it up!

Enough! Enough! Look, look! [rolls up jacket sleeve] Y’all see this? Hives. And I got 'em because y’all motherfuckers are driving me the fuck crazy! Now, Annie, you can’t just go around fuckin' everybody up. And Neuman, do you really wanna risk Zoe growing up in a group home the way you did? [to Butcher] And you… Look. My little baby girl needs me, and I intend on seeing her. You’re not a monster, Butcher. You are a motherfucker, but you a motherfucker with a heart.

Sister Sage

[to Neuman] What happened to you? You look like you got ass-fucked by the business end of a hammer.

Well, maybe I don’t wanna be at this CPAC nightmare any more than they want me here.

Homelander

There’s gonna be a little sidebar later on. One percent of the one percent. Sage here is gonna lube them up with cognac and Montecristos, and then convince them to commit a little high treason.

I’m sorry, what the fuck? Why would I expose myself like that?

Sister Sage

Because in this room is 38% of the U.S. GDP. And if we have a shot in hell of pulling off the 25th Amendment, we need them.

Homelander

Do you wanna be el jefe or not?

Sister Sage

Good. Now, you’re the virgin at prom. Go get finger-popped.

[to Sage] I just had abortion mansplained to me by a guy who refuses to be alone with any woman who isn’t his wife… or mistress. I don’t know. I mean, cozying up to these people, you’re fucking asking me to do the impossible here.

Sister Sage

[beat] When I was eleven, my grandma was diagnosed with Stage 3 chronic lymphocytic leukemia. God… She had the biggest laugh, but she got so small so fast. She was bed-ridden. The doctors didn’t care about saving some old ex-Black Panther, and they told my parents there was nothing to be done. I stayed up the next three nights and discovered a cure. I presented my research to those satisfied fat crackers, they patted me on the head, said I was adorable and laughed at me. Grandma died screaming in pain. [pause; takes two tequila shots from a server] I could cure cancer, reverse global warming, but what’s the point? Humans are animals. And the lines at Voughtland are too long as it is. [downs tequila shot]

Why are you telling me this?

Sister Sage

Because you remember what it’s like being a little girl who no one fucking listens to. And because fuck them all. The only way women like us have ever gotten what we deserved… one hand in their pockets while the other slits their fucking throats. Now… You in or out?

Fuck, I’m gonna miss New York bodegas.

Hughie

Listen, we need to talk. You can still stop all this, alright? Just stop.

You must be pretty desperate if you’re throwing a Hail Mary like this. Jesus.

Hughie

Five minutes, alright? Just five minutes where we cut the bullshit and we talk–just you and me–about how fucked all this is!

What it is, is politics. You know how it goes, strange bedfellows.

Hughie

Yeah, but it’s not like you’re palling around with Mitt Romney! You’re working with Homelander! He’s gonna kill the President. That sounds fucking insane coming out of my mouth! [pause; Neuman just shrugs] Wow. When Homelander chucks all the Starlighters into internment camps, you’re just–You’re cool with that, too? [pause] You didn’t know about the camps. Why do you think that you were at Tek Knight’s? That’s what his prisons are for.

I gotta get back to it.

Hughie

I still have all the dirt on you. What you said at Tek Knight’s. Everything.

Is that a threat?

Hughie

No. Because when we drop it, then you’ll kill us all. Like you said, mutually assured destruction. But it doesn’t have to be that way. And if you’re even, like, one percent of the person that I knew, then I don’t think you really wanna do this. You can still step back. Vic, it’s not too late.

[beat] Thanks for coming by. [pause; Hughie starts walking out] I’m sorry… to hear about your dad.

Firecracker

Welcome to the show, folks. We got a real happy surprise for y’all today. Homelander and Vice President-elect, Victoria Neuman. Bless both your hearts for bein' here.

I’m more than happy to find time for my friend, Homelander.

Firecracker

Yeah, let’s cut the BS. Dakota Bob says he’s gonna pass nutbag anti-Supe laws in his first hundred days.

As his VP…

…staunch ally of the super-abled community, I really think that it’s important to…

Homelander

[laughs] Ally, Victoria? Really? We’re here to tell the truth. So just… tell the truth.

The truth is that the real issue here is lack of representation. And I wanna make sure that you–

Homelander

Fine, you don’t wanna do it? I’ll do it. Victoria here is a superhero.

[chuckles] Thanks for the compliment. But, like, I think the truth is we all wanna be heroes. But I’m not literally a su–

Ashley

[gasps] Oh, fuck!

Firecracker

It’s all true. Ms. Neuman here has been operating as a secret dagger in the heart of the deep state, standing up to the forces of darkness that wanna sodomize our democracy and our toddlers. But it is time for the great awakening. Where we go one, we go Vought, y’all. We’re gonna take a quick break…

Cunt’s out of the bag, innit? Now it gets interesting.

[to Homelander] Hey! Hey, I worked my whole life to keep that secret!

Homelander

Well, secrets rot your soul. You’re unburdened. You should thank me.

Sage said–

Homelander

Fuck Sage. She’s long gone. Listen to me. Listen to me. We are gonna change the world, Vicky. For our kids and their kids. The first super-abled President. And you’re a gal.

I’ll be impeached.

Homelander

Why would we care?

Because I have to get re-elected in four years.

Homelander

Says who?

Article Two of the Constitution.

Homelander

New world, new rules. Now, shut the fuck up and listen! Our fates are connected now. Singer’s as good as dead, and I am the only fucking friend you’ve got left! The train has left the station, gorgeous. And you’re on it.

You’ll have to arrest half your company! Half the country!

Homelander

[pause] What, you think I didn’t think of that? Of course I thought of that!

Fuck!

Homelander

Ashley, on me now.

Ashley

Um, the response on socials has been mixed.

Homelander

I need you to make a list of anyone within the company that has damaging information on me or The Seven… but mostly me. Anyone with any fucking leverage whatsoever.

Ashley

Yes.

Homelander

I need this fucking list yesterday.

Ashley

Yes, sir.

Homelander

You're a good girl.

Hughie

Vicky?

I want out.

Hughie

Sorry, is–is this a joke?

No. It’s gone too far.

Hughie

No. No, you’re just saying that ’cause the assassination failed.

No, I’m saying it ’cause it’ll never fucking end. Homelander’s unhinged, he’s not even listening to Sage anymore. If I become President, I’m just gonna be a puppet, and if I fight back, he’ll… I’ll resign without a fight. You just need to get the CIA off my ass and get me and Zoe out, okay?

Hughie

Fuck all the way off. You’re like the asshole who cried wolf. I mean, the shit that you have done–

Oh, what? Like how you got Sameer to cook up some more of the virus to kill me? Oh, and yeah, cut off his fucking leg?!

Hughie

Ah… Glad you two connected. Okay, so the leg thing wasn’t me, and you didn’t exactly leave us with a ton of options.

Look, the point is, you hit me, I hit you back and it never fucking ends. WarGames, Hughie. The only way to win is not to play. I thought I wanted this. Not for Zoe or… Edgar, but for me. You know, I just… I wanted to feel safe, and not like that scared fucking kid at Red River. [tearfully] But I don’t feel safe, and I’m really fucking scared. And I’m not getting Zoe killed over this. This is the only way.

Hughie

Vicky, I don’t know how to trust you.

I’ll tell you where Zoe is.

Hughie

Is she okay?

Yeah, but if I get her, it’ll draw too much attention. And that’s how you know you can trust me–because I am trusting my daughter with you. Please, Hughie. You’re literally the only person on Earth I can turn to right now.