Oh Father quotes from The Boys

Oh Father

We fight hellfire with holy fire! We fight with the ballot box! We fight with the ammo box! Matthew 10:34: "I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword"! You are not here to be blessed, you are here to do war!

Firecracker

Next up is a $500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital. Ain’t nobody won’t know about the Democratic Church of America… and its chosen prophet.

Homelander

[sighs] Prophets are servants.

Firecracker

Of course, sir. Great point. We’re just trying to ease people into it.

Homelander

No, no, no. We need to prepare America for my ascension. We must be honest. We must be direct. I like “savior.” Or–Or…

Oh Father

Lord. Yes, I couldn’t agree more, sir. Religion is not about being meek. We should dominate the seven mountains of society, bring the Kingdom of Heaven to Earth! Amen!

Homelander

Amen.

Firecracker

Amen! I love all that!

The Deep

So fucking dope.

Oh Father

Easter is just around the corner. How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?

Homelander

Mmm… Second coming? Let's be clear: I am not the son of God.

Oh Father

Well, of course. Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.

Homelander

Well, that's just confusing. I don't want my church getting involved in all... that.

Firecracker

Exactly. Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have… [picks up a bag with a large book inside] this.

Oh Father

We're gonna drag our feet because of a book?

Firecracker

Not a book. The book. The Homelander Bible.

Homelander

[pause; lifts the book with his hands] Heavy.

[quietly] What the fuck?

Firecracker

It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament, written by A.I. trained on the works of Pat Robertson. See, we need to pass the torch, sir. From Jesus to you. Sir, we don't get more than one chance at a first impression. Are we really gonna rush something this important? We ain't Arby's, after all.

Homelander

No.

Firecracker

We're the Cheesecake Factory.

Homelander

[sighs deeply] Okay. We'll do it your way.

Firecracker

Thank you.

Sister Sage

You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?

Firecracker

Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.

Homelander

Oh, let's recall all Supes stationed overseas. American heroes should be protecting America, not Who-Gives-A-Fuckistan.

Homelander

Who the fuck is that?

Oh Father

Günter Van Ellis. World's richest man. Seventeen children. Amateur astronaut.

Homelander

So?

Oh Father

Well, he represents a consortium of billionaires, and they have a few requests.

Homelander

I don't have time for this.

Oh Father

Well, they are the ruling class of America. To build your church, we'll need their support.

Homelander

Is he a believer? Are any of them? Or are they just scared of me?

Oh Father

Even Thomas doubted. With enough time, the gentlest water can wear down any stone. Patience.

Homelander

Wherever you're going, get there faster.

Oh Father

I believe we should consider postponing.

Homelander

Out of the question.

Oh Father

You saw Butcher's lab. If he managed to figure out Soldier Boy's blast, or if there were even the slightest chance that he might render you powerless…

Homelander

You think I'm afraid of William Butcher?

Oh Father

No. No, of course not. [laughing] Of course not. And we've taken the necessary precautions. We moved the venue here. We just don't want any distractions on your blessed day. And it will give me more time to do what I do best: Convert more souls to your righteous banner.

The Deep

Your Eminence? [Homelander sighs]

Oh Father

Not now, Deep.

The Deep

Not your call, Prophet Brohammad. [to Homelander] Look, you don't need The Seven anymore? Genius move, as always, but I've been thinking. What you do need is a Crusader. Yeah, like one of those yoked knights from the olden days. Crack some skulls, lay down your holy law.

Oh Father

Where did you learn about the Crusades?

The Deep

The Bible. Ever heard of it?

Oh Father

It's not in the Bible. Uh, let me guess. Indiana Jones?

The Deep

What? No, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

Oh Father

That's not a documentary.

The Deep

No shit, Sherlock.

Oh Father

What did you...?

Homelander

He's an astronaut. I took him to space. Now, listen to me. I don't need anyone anymore. I don't need billionaires–

The Deep

I couldn't agree more, sir.

Homelander

[turns to look at The Deep] And I don't need perverted fish fuckers who debase themselves endlessly for mere drops of my affection.

The Deep

Is that what you think of me?

Homelander

Since the day we met. I have never had less respect for anyone in my life. In fact, Kevin, the only reason that I haven't fucking killed you is that I want you to feel deep in your heart how truly worthless you really are. [smiles and sighs happily; to Oh Father] Are the psychics in place?

Oh Father

Nationwide.

Homelander

Good. The second the live broadcast is over, I want the wheat separated from the chaff. Those who don't accept my truth will be the first to burn in my holy fire. Smile, Father. One way or another, it's gonna be a beautiful day.