Homelander quotes from The Boys

Homelander

Let's hear it for my buddy, A-Train! Am I right?

Homelander

[laughs; under his breath] Alright... You fucking cocksuckers.

Homelander

[giving a speech at Translucent's funeral] Today, I can report to the American people that Black Noir has conducted an operation killing the super-terrorist known as Naqib. [pause] But that doesn't mean sacrifices won't still be made. The proof of that sadly lies before us. For today, we mourn a fallen member of The Seven: Translucent. Murdered in cold blood by the cartel super-terrorist, El Diablo. Before he left, Translucent said to me... [scoffs] almost as if he knew something was gonna happen, he said, "Hey, Homelander. Tell my son, Maverick, that I love him." He also said, "You find those super-terrorists." Well, "supervillains" is really the only term, but he said, "You find them, Homelander. And you stop them." So I say to you, Maverick, and to all the sons and daughters of this great nation, I will stop them. I will save you. I'll do it for you. For America. [places his hand on Translucent's glass coffin] For a dear... dear old friend. Goodbye, brother. Thank you.

Homelander

Goddammit, A-Train. It didn't need to come to this. I don't know, you left me no choice! I know that my leadership style can be stern, but it was for your own good! I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had. You remember that girlfriend you had? Uh... Pop... Popfang. Betrayed us both, to William Butcher no less. Huge mess, your fault. What did I do? What did I do? I gave you a chance to make things right, I reached out my hand... and you bit it! What did I ever do to deserve that? What, was I too nurturing? Too forgiving? Well, maybe. But dammit, you weren't like the others: Snakes, backstabbers. I could count on you, man. I did count on you. I loved you... but here we are. Why does this keep happening to me? I guess the strongest men are the most alone. You wouldn't understand. Nobody does.

Did you hear about the mayor of Baltimore?

Homelander

…Yeah. Yeah, heard his plane went down. Some sort of engine trouble.

Yeah, it's awful. I saw him on Tuesday. I had a meeting with him right here.

Homelander

Wow. Well, hug your kids, right? 'Cause you never know what might happen.

So true. You know what's interesting? The Deep told me–and only me–that there were scorch marks on the mayor's engine. Almost as if from two small, high-intensity beams roughly the width of human eyes.

Homelander

Say what you mean to say.

Your brand is hope, baseball, America, sunshine. You don't do vengeance.

Homelander

Madelyn, I heard him through the wall. He was blackmailing you.

I am the last person you need to save.

Homelander

Yeah, but I did it for you!

I know, but did the timing occur to you? I have half the Senate Appropriations Committee coming tonight.

Homelander

[beat] How did he even know about Compound V?

We are not going to talk about that.

Homelander

Oh, come on, Madelyn. You do not need to hide things from me. I love Vought as much as you do, and I can do more.

You can do more? You've already grossed $12.3 billion for us.

Homelander

Right. So the pricks on 82 can take all the fucking credit? Empty fucking suits with Cornell degrees? Come on! I'm the one who's out there, not them! I'm the one who–who knows the audience. Who knows what's good for this company!

I know. I hear you, I do. But what I need right now is I need you to charm the shit out of those congressmen.

Homelander

[glares at Stillwell] Right. 'Cause that's all I'm good for, huh? Smile, look pretty, say my lines. Whoop, whoop, whoop.

No, no. You just need to let me protect you.

Homelander

Oh, you're gonna protect me?

Mmm-hmm. [pause; touches Homelander's cheek] Gods are pure… and they're perfect. And they're above it all. And they need to stay that way.

Homelander. Um… Welcome to Crime Analytics. Would you like a Red Bull?

Homelander

Have you found Translucent yet?

Uh, no. But security's on it.

Homelander

He's been missing over 24 hours. Is he in danger?

Um…

Homelander

Do you even know? [pause; Anika says nothing] Forget it. I'll find him myself. What's his last known position, please?

Why don't I just call Ms. Stillwell.

Homelander

No. No, no, no, no, no. You're talking to me.

Well, I'm not sure I'm supposed to be talking to you.

Homelander

What's your name?

Anika, sir.

Homelander

Anika. That's a beautiful name. Listen, Anika. I'm the Homelander, and I can do whatever the fuck I want, okay? [pushes Anika's chair in] Now, [sternly] Translucent's last known position. Please.

Queen Maeve

Can you fly a plane?

Homelander

[shakes his head] Wouldn’t matter if I did. [points at the destroyed control board]

Queen Maeve

What do we do?!

Homelander

[to the passengers] Alright, everyone, remain calm. Stay in your seats. Everything’s under control. [gives thumbs-up]

Queen Maeve

You’ve gotta go out there. Lift the plane up.

Homelander

Lift the plane? How? Th–There’s nothing to stand on; it’s fucking air.

Queen Maeve

I don’t know, fly at it! Ram it straight!

Homelander

You know, at that kind of speed, either the plane goes ass over tit, or I’ll punch straight through the hull or–

Homelander

[to the passengers] Whoa! That was a big one! Everything’s fine, don’t worry about it!

Queen Maeve

[pause; Homelander glares at her] Okay. Okay, you take everyone one by one. You fly them to the ground.

Homelander

[laughs] And what, come back 123 times? Maeve, think.

Homelander

We’re done here.

Queen Maeve

Please!

Homelander

[to the passengers] Everything’s fine, guys. Everything’s fine. You’re okay.

Wait, you’re leaving us?

Homelander

No, no, no, no, no. I’m just seeing something down the back.

Oh, my God. You’re leaving! He’s leaving us!

Homelander

I said I’m not.

Homelander, are you gonna save us?

Homelander

Oh, sweetheart, of course I’m gonna save you! You betcha! I’m gonna save everyone here. Don’t worry about it.

Homelander

Maeve!

Queen Maeve

Okay, you two. Take off your masks. Come on! Now! [to Homelander] Take these two!

Homelander

No, no!

Queen Maeve

Just these two, please!

Homelander

No! What, so they can tell the world we left the rest of them to fucking die?!

Queen Maeve

Come on!

Homelander

No, Maeve! [to several passengers trying to escape] No, you stay back! ALL OF YOU, STAY BACK! [activates laser eyes] YOU STAY THE FUCK BACK OR I’LL LASER YOU, GODDAMMIT!! I’LL LASER EVERY FUCKING ONE OF YOU!

Once again, the horrific wreckage of Trans-Oceanic Flight 37 just beginning to wash up on shore. Every passenger onboard presumed dead.

Homelander

…They didn't have to die.

We have Homelander and Queen Maeve on the scene. [to Homelander] Do you have a comment?

Homelander

I said they didn't have to die. We arrived three minutes after the plane went down. And why? Because we're not in the chain of command. If NORAD called us before they scrambled jets, then we could've saved them. One hundred and twenty-three men, women and children. [tearfully] Excuse me.

Homelander

But if they let us into the military, then this will never happen again. That is my solemn promise to you. Right, Maeve? [pause; Maeve just nods] Talk to your congressmen. Talk to them. They'll listen to the people. And together… Together, we will make sure that this never happens to our great nation ever again! God bless you! God bless America!

We hear you, Homelander!

Homelander

And I hear you, brother! I hear you! And the world hears you! And very, very soon, my friend, whoever did this to us WILL HEAR FROM ALL OF US!

What are you doing here?

Homelander

Skipping work now?

I am taking Teddy to the pediatrician.

Homelander

Maybe reschedule it.

I've already rescheduled three times. What is the emergency?

Homelander

My speech.

Your speech?

Homelander

Yes, my speech. It reads like corporate fucking mayonnaise. We're talking Believe here. These are my people.

But you're not just talking to them. Every dove and Democrat in Congress is gonna be watching you on CNN. You need to appear moderate…

Homelander

No.

Humble.

Homelander

No, you… There is an opportunity here. People are scared. They don't trust Washington or the coastal elite, and they hate foreigners. What they want is a little John Wayne frontier justice. And that is what I do. [pause] Don't forget… it was me that saved that Flight 37 thing. I turned that into a win. For us.

You're really gonna talk to me about "saving" Flight 37? [snickers]

Homelander

Well, why wouldn't I?

Look, can I please just talk to you later? The speech is perfect! Trust me!

Homelander

"Trust you." Okay. That's what you always say.

[to Teddy] Come here.

Homelander

You're not even fucking listening to me! You're so full of shit! You say you want my input, but you don't.

Yes, I do.

Homelander

No, you don't. And you never will.

I do! Can we please just talk later?!

Homelander

Why? You gonna run off and play "strong single mom"? Please… That baby is an accessory.

We need boundaries.

Homelander

A terrible tragedy befell our nation last week. Terrible. Now, let's not mince words about this. We were attacked.

Homelander

America was attacked. Some people… They want me to come out here and speak empty platitudes to you all. A little bit of corporate talk. But I don't wanna do that. I can't do that. You wanna know why?

Why?

Homelander

Because I believe that what God wants me to do is get on over there, find the filthy bastards that masterminded this… whatever cave they're in, and introduce them to a little thing called God's judgment! That's what I think! Sounds like the American thing to do! Sounds like the right thing to do! But no! No, no, no, no, no! Apparently, I gotta wait for Congress to say it's okay! [pause; the crowd boos in  response] Right? I say, I answer to a higher law.

Homelander

Wasn't I chosen to save you?! Is it not my God-given purpose to protect the United States of America?!

Homelander

Psalm 58:10: "The righteous shall rejoice when he sees the vengeance, and he will bathe his feet in the blood of the wicked!"

Eight years ago, Stillwell called me with quite an interesting challenge. Rebecca Butcher had come to her with a completely unprecedented medical condition.

Homelander

What condition?

She was pregnant… with your child.

Homelander

Pregnant? [pause; mutters in shock] But I–I thought I couldn't.

So did I. Apparently, nature is tenacious. The fetus was developing unnaturally fast. We told her we'd deliver the baby safely at a secure location, but she had to sign an NDA. Couldn't tell anyone; not even her husband. You can imagine the size of the potential scandal.

The birth was difficult. The baby clawed its way out of her. The blood loss, no one could have survived. She died on the table.

Homelander

And–And the baby?

Lived all of ten seconds. Drowned in its mother's blood.

Homelander

Was it a boy?

Does it matter?

Homelander

Why didn't you tell me?

To protect you. That's always job one at Vought, isn't it? Protect our most profitable asset?

Homelander

So why are you telling me now?

You don't understand. The thing about cross-breeding dogs… you get the right genes, you can get a perfect creation. But it doesn't matter how perfect they are; it's not enough. When I raise subjects without their mothers, they become violent. Aggressive. Downright hateful. You should've been raised in a home with a family who loved you. Not in a cold lab with doctors.

Homelander

And yet I turned out great.

When I think what it's done to you, and what you can now do to everyone else… [beat; sighs] I'm sorry.

Homelander

I don't want your fucking apology.

All this is my fault.

Homelander

[in a shaky tone] What do you want? What? What do you want, forgiveness? Now? After you raised me like a fucking lab rat? [shakes his head] No. Too little, too late.

I don't want anything from you, John. I'm just an old man thinking about his mistakes.

Homelander

I'm the world's greatest superhero.

You're my greatest failure.

Homelander

Billy Butcher. You don't mind if I call you Billy, right? You are pretty darn impressive. I mean, especially for, you know… one of you. See, even now, most people standing where you are would be pissing their pants terrified. But you… Sure, your heart's pounding, but you're not afraid. It's anger. That's a new one for me.

Homelander, will you please take the baby upstairs?

Homelander

All because of your lovely wife, Becca. Right? Okay, let's cut the bullshit, huh? You know that we, uh… [makes humping gesture] Bro, not my fault, okay? She came on to me. It happens…

Will you stop?

Homelander

…you know, it's–it's the fame. They get crushes. There's nothing I can do about it. But what I will tell you is, she was a hell of a lay. [laughs] She came three times, eh? Three times. [places Teddy in his crib] Alright, little man, have a little lie-down. Good boy.

I want you to take him out of here.

Homelander

[to Stillwell] Yeah, I hear you. [sighs; to Butcher] But that's not really it. No, no, no, no, no. No, it's more than just that. [pause] You think I'm responsible for her death, don't you? So now you have a hostage that–that I care about, right? Someone I love. So, what's your plan… from here? What do you want? Do you want a confession, or… What's your endgame?

I'm just gonna hurt you. I mean, really fuckin' hurt you… and that'll be good enough for me.

Homelander

So, you–you don't really want anything, per se? You just–You wanna blow her up in front of me, right? [laughing] Wow, fuck! Uh… [stammers] You are dark, and I kinda like it.

[to Homelander] Will you please take Teddy upstairs?

Homelander

[to Stillwell] It's okay. [to Butcher] Just answer one question for me. Just one: How do you know? How do you know? I mean, you must have some rock-solid proof, right? That it was actually me who killed your wife. You must have that, right? So what is it? Share. We're all very interested. [pause; Butcher says nothing] Now's not the time to be strong and silent. Go for it. [beat; Butcher remains silent] Are you telling me that this whole thing is–is based on fucking feelings? On a hunch?

Will you please take him upstairs?!

Homelander

A little bit–Madelyn, hold on!

TAKE HIM UPSTAIRS!

Homelander

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Homelander

You promised me, no more lies. You fucking promised me. You and Vogelbaum should've got your stories straight. They were so close–so fucking close–but there were a few little details that were different. So I went back to Vogelbaum, and I managed to squeeze the truth out of him. The real truth. [Stillwell starts crying] Yes, that's it.

I'm so sorry. I never should have lied to you. I know now that you don't need to be protected. I'm so sorry. Will you please take Teddy back upstairs?

Homelander

Did you ever really care about me?

You mean everything to me.

Homelander

No. No, no. I mean everything to your job. You care more about that fucking baby than you do about me.

No. I love you. I love you, I love you. I swear I love you.

Homelander

But…? [pause; Stillwell hesitates] Tell me the truth, or I walk out right now.

[quietly] I'm scared. I'm scared of you.

Homelander

What?

I said I'm scared.

Homelander

Of?

Of you. I'm scared of you.

Homelander

[tenderly] Thank you. Thank you for finally being honest.

Homelander

Wakey-wakey. Hey, buddy. You were out for quite a while. You can thank me for saving you sometime later, but for now, time to get up. Come on, you're gonna love this. Come on.

Ryan

Mom!

Homelander

Wow, look at this handsome devil. Hey, pal. You know who I am?

Ryan

Homelander.

Homelander

[laughs] Yeah, that's right, but… you know who else?

Ryan

No.

Becca?

Homelander

Huh. Mommy didn't tell you. Well… I'm your father. And we are a family.

Homelander. Wow, you're… It's–It's an honor, sir.

Homelander

Wait, hold on. You can tell it's me?

Ashley

Mm-hmm!

Homelander

[laughs] Wow! That's–That's impressive!

You don't need super eyes when you have super ears.

Homelander

Can I just say, that is amazing. And you, my friend, are a true hero. Not because of what you do for a job, but… [sighs] well, because of what you've overcome.

Thank you. That means everything coming from you.

Homelander

Aw, stop it. Come on. Hey, guys, I just have one question if that's okay.

Ashley

Yeah.

Homelander

Yeah?

Ashley

Yeah.

Homelander

Alright, so… What happens if, I don't know, I do this?

Homelander

And now you're just another useless fuckin' blind guy. [shakes his head] This must be some kind of a joke. [turns to Ashley] Ashley, what made you think I would ever allow a cripple into The Seven?! [sees Ashley staring at Blindspot in utter horror] For fuck's sakes, Ashley! Don't look at him! Look at me! ASHLEY! LOOK AT ME!

Ashley

Sorry.

Homelander

Let's get one thing straight. The only reason you're here and not doing corporate PR for fucking DivaCups is that I brought you here. You are dispensable, which means you answer to me.

Ashley

Okay, okay.

Homelander

From now on, I will set my own agenda. I'll approve my own marketing and write my own talking points. You will tell me everything that goes on on the 99th floor. And I mean everything. Every call, email, group chat. If a fucking light bulb goes out, you will tell me. And Ashley… in no fucking way do you decide who goes in The Seven. I decide.

Stormfront

Here I go, guys! Wish me luck! Oh, FYI, not a real base. [pans phone camera around the film set] As if Homelander and Maeve are gonna eat MREs and piss in a ditch with the rest of the grunts.

Ashley

Uh, hey. Yeah, hi. We're filming right now. Excuse me.

Stormfront

Also, you might recognize "Army Boy" as Hotel Clerk #2…

Ashley

Hello, excu–! Okay…

Stormfront

…from "The Devil's Breath" episode of Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders.

Homelander

Well, hello.

Stormfront

Oh, my God, hi! My nana's your biggest fan. I'm Stormfront.

Homelander

Great.

Queen Maeve

Oh, right, yeah. From Seattle, right?

Stormfront

Uh... [giggles] Portland, actually, Your… Highness. [pause; stares at Homelander] Holy shit! Your eyes are really fuckin' blue up close!

Homelander

[laughs] You are fun. It's been a hoot, but we got work to do, [to Maeve] so let's get back to it.

Stormfront

Oh, totally. They just wanted me to meet you.

Homelander

Who?

Stormfront

Oh, the boys on 82. I'm the new girl.

Queen Maeve

Wait. What are you talking about?

Stormfront

Oh, hi. I'm in The Seven, replacing Translucent. God bless his soul. Ink's barely dry, but uh… Yeah, reporting for duty. Fuck, yeah.

Ashley

No, I don't think that this is–It's not true. [to Homelander] I don't know anything about this.

Homelander

Wow. Well, uh… Stormfront, who delivered the good news?

Stormfront

Oh, uh... Mr. Edgar? The big guy?

Homelander

Wonderful. Great. [claps] Alright, great!