Huey quotes from The Boondocks

Riley

Huey?

Yeah?

Riley

I don't like losin'.

Well, then stop beatin yourself.

Riley

Huey?

Yeah?

Riley

You still a bitch! (laughs)

I'm not gonna fight you, I'm grounding you!

Riley

Ground me? What is this? Family Ties? Nigga, you can't ground me!

I just did. Don't leave the house.

Riley

(under breath) This nigga musta lost it! I wanna know what this nigga be smokin' on! Shoot. Talkin' about I'm grounded. I'm Young Reezy! I goes where I wants'ta go.

Your grounded.

Riley

(After being drop-kicked) You better have eyes in the back of yo' head, nigga.

I have supreme authority while Granddad's away!

Riley

You got supreme authority over these nuts, nigga!

You ready to come out?

Riley

Say hello to the bad guy! Hee-hee! Heh heh heh heh!

Damn it Riley! You ruined our family! You drove granddad away, now he's never coming back!

Riley

Granddad left 'cause of you! Nobody likes you Huey, 'cause you're a gay-ass, hater, fagey boy! Heh heh heh! Heh!

Riley

Okay! I'm reloaded! Hee-hee! Heh heh heh heh! How you like that, fool?

Why does it always have to end up like this?

Riley

Cuz youse a bitch.

Don't do it.

Riley

Can't you just be happy to see another nigga fitted up--lookin' dipped and buttered and shinin' and glistenin'?

Were gonna run out of food in a few days, Riley.

Riley

You suppose to be in charge. You suppose to be the leader. Lead us to some breakfast then, nigga.

You both say the word "nigga" all the time.

I do not!

Riley thought it was his name until he was three.

The problem with restraining speech is, who gets to set the rules? If it's only okay in a certain time or place, who gets to say what time and what place? Bill Cosby?

B'yes! As a matter of fact I get to set the rules about what is appropriate to say and what is not appropriate to say! Forrrrr example: The other day a youth walked up to ME and asked "what it do?" He sounded like he was auditioning for a slave epic! Proper way to say that sentence is "What DOES it do?" I personally blame the MOTHER...

Ok. Ok. Here it is. This yah boy! This yah boy look ok this moment you've all been waiting for. It's the world premier and that's not just around here that's the whole world. The brand new Gangstalicious video, the song is called Homies Over Hos.

(The host is still talking in the background about the video) I thought you hated Gangstalicious.

Riley

I mean he a punk and all that, but he send a nigga some free CDs and apologized and all so I decided to squash it.(music starts to play) He still a punk though.

Homies over hos (bitch). Homies over hos (bitch). Homies over hos (bitch). Homies over hos (bitch). Do the homie. Do the homie. Do the homie. Do the homie. You never catchin' 'Lish, rollin' with no bitch, 'cause bitches ain't (Beep). And so my crew is thick..

Riley

The beat is iight.

... A bunch of knuckleheads. With bald heads and dreads. Nigga we hatin' on them hos like we hate the feds. Bitch can't you see fall back away from me. Me and my niggas bumpin' chests in the VIP. Now bump it to the left. Now bump it to the right. 'Cause when you do the Homie got to do it right.

Come on Riley. The song? The dance. I mean... "do the homie?"

Riley

The homie dance ain't gay. I do the homie.

That's not gay? You who thinks everything in the world is gay.

Riley

(flashbacks of riley) Nigga you gay. You gay. Ya'll niggas are gay. Nigga you gay. That's gay.

You don't find any of that gay at all?

Riley

Okay, so all that others stuff was gay. But Gangstalicious ain't gay. You cant just go throwin in that "gay" thing around Huey. Thats a serious accusation.

You the one who said he kissed a guy.

I like Elton John. But that doesn't make me gay.

Riley

Is Elton John gay?

Yeah.

Riley

See? And YOU gay.

Yep.

Riley

And I was his biggest fan. That makes me gay, don't it?

(pauses briefly, taking the cheap shot) ...Yep.

(to himself, quietly) I know it's wrong. But I really want my own room.

Take it easy on him, Grandad. He's just -- tryin to come to terms with it.

Riley

(pitifully) Grandad... I think I might be....

It's OK, son. I know.

Riley

...I might be.... (breaks into sobs)

It's OK, it's OK. Oh. You're a gay! Boy! How did that be, how did that happen....

Granddad, what do you do when you can't do nothing, but there's nothing you can do?

You do what you can.

What about the Ivory Coast?

Ruckus

ABSOLUTELY NO AFRICA! NO WAY! ALL THEM COUNTRIES GOT NIGGER PRESIDENTS!

Gimmes dis shit, lil' nigga! It's my story! Now my boy, Lord Rufus Crabmiser [point at the screen], Lady Esmeralda Gripenasty [give the middle finger at viewer], and Mister George Pissedofferson met at the Better Passions Retirement Home. Now we hate each other right away; but we hated everyone else, even more.

Oh, Yum!

Swiped! [slurp] Jello jacked nigga!

Not again!

A-9, A-9.

Ha Ha! Bingo, sucka!

Lady Esmeralda

Bitch, turn yo ass around and look at your damn card.

Now What the fuck do I win, nigga!

A er... subscription to reader digest!

GIMME DAT SHIT, NIGGA!

(laugh) MOVE OUT DA WAY, BITCH!

(groan)

Eventually; they couldn't take us no more and they kick us the fuck out. My crew roamed the earth whooping niggas asses for a decade. [The Hateocracy grabs the bags and leaves] And then we split up. Colonel H. Stinkmeaner-

Colonel H. Stinkmeaner died years later in a street fight with Robert Freeman from Woodcrest.

Hey, th-that's me!

Riley

I hate to this, Grandad. But you did look like a pussy punk bitch. You should've stuck with your story.

Robert

It was a DNA test.

Riley

Well, study next time. (Huey hits him with a book) Ow!

Grandad, there's no use beating yourself up.

Riley

Yeah, Steve Wilkos already did that.

Robert

I can't believe all this time. A son. A son named Lando.

Grandad, it's not all your fault. This doesn't make you a horrible person.

(on TV) It's all your fucking fault! You're a horrible fucking person!

Robert

Oh, why me? Why did he do this to me?