You don't go into science for the money.
Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ca-ching you blinky chumps!
S7 E18The Mommy Observation
S7 E19The Indecision Amalgamation
[after Sheldon runs from the room] You're not even going to ask?
What is this? My first day?
Quick poll: PS4 or Xbox One? Raj?
RRaj
Xbox One.
Penny?
Huh?
Leonard?
PS4.
Wolowitz?
Both are great.
Bernadette?
I like the Wii!
Thanks grandma.
S7 E20The Relationship Diremption
This seemed so elegant at the time. But, now I realize I was just a simple country boy, seduced by a big city theory with variables in all the right places.
Why do we have a geology book? Leonard, did you throw a children's party while I was in Texas?
Wait, what's wrong with geology?
Let me put this in a way you'll understand Penny. You remember how you explained to me that the Kardashians aren't real celebrities? Well, geology is the Kardashians of science.
S7 E21The Anything Can Happen Recurrence
So we're about to shoot this scene in the movie where the killer ape DNA is slowly taking over my body.
Okay.
But I realize they're gluing fur everywhere, except my cleavage. So, I ask the director why and he says it's important to the story that my boobs be the last things to turn ape.
It's sweet that he thinks there's a story.
[running to a psychic's booth] I think I see our next stop!
You can't be serious. If I wanted to waste my time on nonsense, I’d follow Leonard on Instagram.
S7 E22The Proton Transmogrification
Okay, here we go. Episode I: The Phantom Menace.
RRaj
Let's get this over with.
Since we all agree episode I isn't our favourite, maybe we just skip it this time?
Yeah Howard, I think you of all people should avoid espousing the principle that if something is not our favorite, we should just get rid of it.
You've come to me because you're my Obi-Wan.
I'm not familiar with that. Is that an Internet?
Wow. You're dead, so I'm gonna let that slide.
S7 E23The Gorilla Dissolution
There's no reason why I shouldn't be the best bisexual go-go dancer slowly transforming into a killer gorilla anyone's ever seen.
I don't know. The bisexual gorilla go-go dancer in Schindler's List is tough to beat.
C'mon, how can you be sad when you're going home with all 5-foot-6 of this? [Gestures at himself]
You think you're 5-foot-6. That's funny.
S7 E24The Status Quo Combustion
Howie, I love you. And as your wife, your mother is every bit my problem as she is yours. So… I want a divorce.
You taught him well, Padawan.
Good lord. Padawan's the student, not the teacher.
S8 E1The Locomotion Interruption
Sherlock Holmes always says when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Now, have-have you tried doing that?
HOfficer Hernandez
Nope.
Well, maybe you should. Th-th-there's lots of books called "Sherlock Holmes" and there's no books called "Officer Hernandez."
HEY! Look who's back!
Your hair is different. You changed your hair? I can't take this, I'm out.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's The Big Bang Theory pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.