Penny quotes from The Big Bang Theory

Penny

You know, the last time I got a handwritten letter was from someone who told me I parked like a blind person.

Leonard

That someone has a name.

Sheldon

Thank you.

Penny

All right, what about music?

Sheldon

I enjoy marching bands and Tibetan throat music.

Penny

No music it is.

Penny

Hang on, what if Sheldon had no choice but to be respectful?

Leonard

Is there a switch on the back of his neck we don't know about?

Penny

That's not what the forest smells like.

Sheldon

Well how would I know?

When Leonard's feeling anxious, I make him take a long walk.

Amy Farrah Fowler

Does that help?

Penny

For a while, then he comes back.

Penny

You know, I had no idea CalTech is exactly like my high school.

Amy

Well, it's not exactly like it. You know, we're all extremely smart.

Penny

Wow. You popular girls are mean.

Penny

Do they know why the pipe burst?

Amy

They didn't say.

Leonard

Buildings that have a combination of copper and galvanised fuel are susceptible to paint holes and corrosion caused by the mobility of ions in the water. [Penny and Amy look at him in disgust] You can't have your head shoved in a toilet as much as I did and not pick up a few things about plumbing.

Amy

Sheldon, I understand your apprehension, but let me appeal to the scientist in you. Given the five week end date, isn't it the perfect opportunity to consider this an experiment and collect data on our compatibility?

Sheldon

Don't try luring me in with sexy talk.

Leonard

Okay, Star Trek: The Original Series, the Enterprise was on a 5-year mission exploring new worlds. Think of this as your personal 5-week mission to do the same.

Sheldon

If you want to lure me in with sexy talk that's how you do it!

Penny

Don't be proud of that!

Amy

Okay, well for starters, there's nothing wrong with keeping our toothbrushes in the same holder.

Penny

Sheldon, what do you say to that?

Sheldon

I think we should see other people.

Well I can't eat like a ten year old all the time.

Penny

You're dating somebody! Who is it?

Amy

Ever since I met Penny, I've been envious of her looks.

Penny

Awww. Thank you.

Amy

That's why I was so happy when you cut your hair off.

Penny

WHAT?!?

Amy

You know what I mean. You were still hot, but more like a "Why'd that hot girl cut off all her hair?" hot.

Penny

[to Leonard] Well, you liked my short hair, right?

Leonard

Yeah, I... loved it. Love you, love the hair, would love to change the subject.

Penny

[to the group] Seriously? None of you liked it?

Bernadette

I thought it was brave. Does that count as liking it?

Penny

You know, how come nobody's talking about Howard's dopey haircut?

Bernadette

I think he looks cute.

Howard

I think you're cure.

I think you're both cute.

Penny

I think I hate all of you nerds!

Sheldon

[in pain] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...

Amy

What happened?

Sheldon

I tried to let go of anger, and threw a rock into my foot.

Leonard

Then, he got more angry and kicked the rock with his other foot.

Penny

What?! [notices the tissue in Leonard's nostril] And what happened to you?!

Leonard

Oh, I laughed so hard, I burst a blood vessel in my nose! It's fine!

Penny

[recapping Sheldon's story for Bernadette] They told Mary they were living together, there was a fight, he got his feelings hurt, then he put underwear on his head --

Leonard

On purpose. Not the way it used to happen in high school.

Sheldon

I was acting odd intentionally.

Bernadette

Really? So you can control it?

Penny

Hey, can I ask you a question? You've been married for a while. Is it normal for the husband to completely stop giving a crap?

Bernadette

Uh-oh, what's going on?

Penny

Well, Leonard used to do all these things, like bring me flowers and wear pants.

Leonard

So, you're gonna throw me under the bus?

Penny

I'm gonna throw you so hard, I might actually win a stuffed animal.

Sheldon

Guys, it sounds like you're getting angry again.

Leonard

That's because we are.

Sheldon

YES! I don't need an emotion machine! I AM ONE!