Penny quotes from The Big Bang Theory

Your hair is different. You changed your hair? I can't take this, I'm out.

S8 E1 The Locomotion Interruption

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I'm stimulating the pleasures of this starfish. I just need to turn it off.

Penny

What happens if you don't?

Then I have to sit through lunch knowing this starfish is having a better day than I am.

S8 E2 The Junior Professor Solution

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Did you enjoy my lecture?

No, and neither did our waiter.

Well, if you're going to serve Cornish game hen you should either be familiar with the history of Cornwall or be prepared to learn it.

It's hard to argue with that. And I know because I saw a sad man with a pepper mill desperately try and fail.

[They enter the apartment]

Penny

Hey, how was dinner?

Good, I had Cornish game hen.

Oh, that poor waiter.

S8 E3 The First Pitch Insufficiency

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Penny

Hey, I hear you're a dermatologist.

EEmily

Yeah, I'm a resident at Huntington Hospital.

Oh, I like their emergency room. Even if it turns out you don't have Dengue fever, they still let you take a lollipop.

S8 E4 The Hook-up Reverberation

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Bernadette is a successful microbiologist. She should be celebrated for her achievements, not her looks. I mean, what kind of message does that send?

Penny

I think the message is, "Check out the rack on that scientist!"

S8 E7 The Misinterpretation Agitation

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[The group are preparing Stuart's Comic Book Store for its reopening. It is a tense affair, as Penny has found out that Amy and Sheldon have been testing Chimpanzee puzzles on her, Howard has discovered that his mother, before going to visit her sister in Florida, had loaned Stuart some of her furniture for his store, and Sheldon, having found out that Amy provided Kripke with mathematical assistance, is trying to grasp the concept of letting things go. Leonard is conversing with Penny]

I can't believe they did that.

Penny

I know, it's so insulting. At one point, they had me figure out how to get a banana out of a puzzle box!

Wait... Sheldon gave me a banana in a puzzle box. He was testing me too!

Penny

Unbelievable.

And how could a chimp even solve that? That was impossible.

Penny

Really? You couldn't get it out?

[Amy and Sheldon knock on the door. Raj lets them in, and Sheldon thanks him. Leonard and Penny get up and advance on them at once]

Wow, the store looks great -

So you were testing us both? What is the matter with you?

Penny

What's the matter with them is they think they're so smart, they don't care if they hurt other people's feelings!

That isn't true!

[concurrently] That sounds like us. [Amy looks at him in irritation] I still don't understand why you're upset. You solved every puzzle faster than all of the chimps.

Well, except Barnabus, but he was on Adderall.

S8 E15 The Comic Book Store Regeneration

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[Howard and Bernadette come in from the back room, mid-conversation]

...I'm sorry, but it's making me crazy.

Can you please just let it go?

Ooh, I can help you with that. Imagine you're holding an ordinary pen - while your favourite pen is safe and secure in your pocket.

[Howard's phone rings]

Hold that thought. [goes off to answer it in the next room] Hello?

[To Leonard and Penny] How can I make this up to you?

Penny

[angrily putting both fists together] The answer is in this puzzle box, let's see if you can open it!

[She and Leonard walk away, while Bernadette goes to Stuart]

You could have at least warned him about the furniture.

RRaj

That's what I said when we moved it!

You helped him!?

RRaj

[sarcastically] No. Stuart picked up those three pillows all on his own.

[Howard returns from his phone call, looking visibly shaken]

Hey, you okay?

[in a dazed voice] No...

What's wrong?

...My mom died.

[All heads turn towards him in shock]

What!?

That was my aunt. Ma took a nap and... She never woke up.

[beginning to cry] Oh my God, Howie...

[She embraces him, while the rest of the group solemnly gather round, Penny visibly looking on the verge of tears as well]

I'm so sorry.

RRaj

What can we do?

I don't know...

[He sits down in an armchair and buries his face in his hands]

May I say something?

[sadly] Not right now, Sheldon.

But I think it would be comforting.

Buddy -

It's okay... [looks up at him] What?

When I lost my own father, I didn't have any friends to help me through it. You do.

[Howard gives him a weak smile, while the others remain in shocked silence, both from the news and the fact that Sheldon has said something genuinely supportive]

Penny

[breaking down] I really thought he was gonna say "let it go."

S8 E15 The Comic Book Store Regeneration

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Penny

Question one: Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

Hmm. Living or dead?

Penny

Just says "anyone in the world." Guess that means living.

Oh, that's just as well. As much as I'd love to meet Euclid, inventor of the geometric proof, he probably wore sandals, and I cannot look at toes during dinner. Oh, I know! The person I'd most like to have dinner with is myself.

Penny

You sure that's your choice? 'Cause I've had that dinner.

Well, I haven't. And while they say never meet your heroes, I just don't see how I could disappoint. Who would you choose?

Penny

Robert Downey Jr.

You... Oh! I didn't think of Iron Man. You know, maybe after myself and I have dinner, we can meet you two for dessert

S8 E16 The Intimacy Acceleration

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Penny

I don't think I've eaten that much in my entire life.

That's why my people wandered the desert for forty years. Took that long to walk it off.

S8 E18 The Leftover Thermalization

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Ooh, you just chose champions. It's like we're re-enacting the ancient German practice of trial by combat.

Penny

It's also like when the Mountain fought the Red Viper in Game of Thrones.

Leonard makes you watch that, too?

Penny

No, I like that show. It's got dragons and people doing it.

S8 E19 The Skywalker Incursion

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Penny

[knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [Sheldon opens the door, smirking, and she grins at him]

I bet that started off as a joke, but by the third one, you realized there was something strangely enjoyable about it.

Penny

Yeah, I kind of want to do it again.

I don't recommend it, you'll be doing it the rest of your life.

S8 E21 The Communication Deterioration

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Mary

When your mom gets back, I'm gonna need to apologize for the way I spoke to her.

Penny

Well, come on, she did kinda start it.

Mary

Doesn't matter. A good Christian would have turned the other cheek. On the other hand, a good Texan would have shot her, so I'll just split the difference.

S8 E23 The Maternal Combustion

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Penny

So what package were you thinking?

Well this one comes with music and flowers. Oh, and they even stream the whole thing live on the internet.

Penny

Why would we want that?