Muscleman quotes from The Awesomes

Muscleman

Get off my sled!

It's too late, Santa.

Prock

Yeah, stop being so anti-Semitic and let us kill you!

Prock

It's over. All that's left is for you to tell all your kids to surrender.

Never!

Muscleman

Or we're taking you to midnight Mass.

Oh, well, then I'll do it. I don't have an hour for that.

Prock

This is a very important technology lab. Dr. Turfenpeltz works here. The former chief scientist of the Awesomes.

Muscleman

So that's how this works. When your mentor's in trouble, we drop everything. But when my gymnastics coach needs money for the Kickstarter, you refused to pay $40 for a hat.

Prock

I was able to track Whiskey Dick's heat signature. After leaving here, he landed in Dusselforf, then transported to Madrid.

Muscleman

Oh, my God. He's in... Florida.

Tim

Well, technically, Germany and Spain.

Concierge

Where are we?

Prock

It's a portal! To another world!

Gadget Gal

Which world?

Prock

I don't know!

Frantic

Mattress World?

Prock

Probably not.

Muscleman

Boy Meets World?

Prock

That's not a world!

Muscleman

I hope I get to meet Mr. Feeny.

Muscleman

You know, I read dolphin fishing is killing all the tuna.

Tim

It's the other way around.

Muscleman

Sorry. Killing all of the tuna is dolphin fishing, I read.

Tim

Great.

Muscleman

I didn't read it, I saw it on TV.

Gadget Gal

I remember Seaman. He was always trying to make time with me. I found Seaman very distasteful.

Prock

Sea-Man?

Impresario

Tell me, Gadget Gal, was he ever in your hair?

Gadget Gal

Seaman was impossible to get out of my hair.

Concierge

So, he was always on your back?

Gadget Gal

If he wasn't on my back, Seaman was on my face. When I was younger, Seaman was everywhere.

Prock

Guys, enough.

Muscleman

Did you ever put him in Tupperware and throw him in the freezer to see if you could turn him into a big ice cube? (everyone stares)

Gadget Gal

Why would anyone do that to Seaman?

Concierge

Yes, why?

Muscleman

I tried to join in the fun and I really didn't.

Impresario

Yes you did, and when we get home, we are buying new Tupperware.

Prock

This is what happens when you start wordplay in front of Muscleman.

Muscleman

I hope we're having sushi.

Down here we call sushi "friends and family."

Muscleman

Oh, sorry. In that case, I hope we're having friends and family for dinner.

Prock

I can't believe I spent all my savings on a magical date with a robot.

Muscleman

Tell me about it. I just bought a condo with a forklift.

Perfect Man

Hey, one time I fell in love with a volleyball.

Muscleman

Right. That time you went crazy.

Perfect Man

Oh, I forgot about that. I was actually talking a different volleyball.

Harry, I remember when you and Jeremy would have sleepovers in those bunk beds. If these walls could talk.

Muscleman

I bet they'd say, "Why so many fart contests?"

I'm going to show you an inkblot, and you tell me what you see.

Muscleman

Umm, an inkblot.

Hotwire

A butterfly.

Impresario

The cat after Muscleman juggled it to death.

Concierge

Break-dancing skeleton.

Tim

Alan Moore's The Watchmen.

Gadget Gal

The pubic hair of Lillian Gish.

Impresario

Muscleman, what is wrong with your hearing?

Muscleman

You know, I think I got water in my ear when we fought Seaman.

Impresario

That was two weeks ago.

Muscleman

To Mexico? Sign me up.

Muscleman

So, an archaeologist. What's it like working with dinosaur bones?

That's a paleontologist. I'm an archaeologist.

Frantic

Ooh, I love archaeology. What's your favorite mineral?

That's a geologist.

Frantic

Oh, you fix people's gums and then you buy them fancy clothes?

That's a periodontist and a personal shopper, respectively; what I do...

Gadget Gal

He's a grave robber.

Close enough.

Okay, guys, looks like we're going to the Amazon.

Muscleman

Oh, I love their two-day shipping.

Muscleman

Thank God we got a dinosaur expert with us.

I'm an archaeologist!

Muscleman

Oh, right, you're the rock guy. Hey, what's the deal with sand?