Dr. Jill Stein-Awesome-Kaplan quotes from The Awesomes

So your father, who thinks he's the center of the universe just because he has the power to redirect the orbit of the earth and make the world physically revolve around him, throws his son, who worships him, out on his ass and his son, as always, runs right back to his mother's arms and never stops to think that maybe it's time he grew up, took off his superhero costume, and stopped chasing an empty dream!

Behind every great woman is another great woman. Behind that great woman is a third great woman. And behind that woman, perhaps a man who is transitioning to be a woman.

Harry, I remember when you and Jeremy would have sleepovers in those bunk beds. If these walls could talk.

Muscleman

I bet they'd say, "Why so many fart contests?"

Isn't he so much better than Mr. Awesome? With his muscles and his veins popping out of his neck, throbbing with testosterone, just waiting to tear my clothes off and have me right there on the floor--I hate him!

Impresario

Well, I... better start unpacking. Both my suitcase and everything you just said.

I'm going to show you an inkblot, and you tell me what you see.

Muscleman

Umm, an inkblot.

Hotwire

A butterfly.

Impresario

The cat after Muscleman juggled it to death.

Concierge

Break-dancing skeleton.

Tim

Alan Moore's The Watchmen.

Gadget Gal

The pubic hair of Lillian Gish.