Hotwire quotes from The Awesomes

Hotwire

I got to rewatch Swingers or something.

Gadget Gal

My body may have been dosed with a reverse-aging ray, turning me into this hot tamale, but my bladder still thinks I'm 80 years old.

Hotwire

Oh, I'll go with you. Some girl time.

Gadget Gal

I don't do that, Hotwire. I've always been pee-shy since the Korean War! Those sneaky little fellows always liked to grab a look.

Hotwire

Oh, no no, I wouldn't...

Gadget Gal

Flying solo!

Tim

How about you, Hotwire? How did you get started?

Hotwire

Oh, you know, it's not that interesting.

Muscleman

It's okay. Concierge was boring and we didn't mind.

Concierge

I thought you weren't listening.

Muscleman

Listening to what?

Hotwire

Prock, should we arrest them? Or something?

Prock

For what? Lying to their son?

Impresario

My momma never lies to me. She tells me that I'm God's most beautiful creation. And she is right.

Frantic

My parents told me that when I was in my momma's belly, I ate my twin. They would tell me that a lot.

Hotwire

How does he find them?

Prock

I blame Gregslist.

Hotwire

You mean Craigslist?

Prock

No, Gregslist. If you want something even Craig won't touch, you turn to Greg.

(walking in) Did someone call for Greg?

Get out of here, Greg!

Oh, suit yourself. Hey, darling, if you ever want to make some real money, give me a ring.

Get out of here, Greg!

Hotwire

Prock, I found it. It's right next to the anti-Irish ray.

Prock

Uh, yeah, that belonged to Gadget Gal back in the day. Different times.

Hotwire

You lied to me, too. You told me this was for the betterment of mankind.

Dr. Malocchio

As a rule, don't listen to people who say things like "the betterment of mankind." On average they're usually *bleep*.

Hotwire

We did not communicate when we were a couple.

Perfect Man

Really was a perfect relationship.

I'm going to show you an inkblot, and you tell me what you see.

Muscleman

Umm, an inkblot.

Hotwire

A butterfly.

Impresario

The cat after Muscleman juggled it to death.

Concierge

Break-dancing skeleton.

Tim

Alan Moore's The Watchmen.

Gadget Gal

The pubic hair of Lillian Gish.

Hotwire

Mom, you're in the Dames of Danger?

I can't tell you, baby, 'cause it's a secret. That's the first thing they told me when I joined the Dames of Danger!

We should be celebrating our womanhood, especially on the night of the "Chick" Woman Magazine Awards.

Hotwire

Chic, mom.

(holds up a purse) Oh, thank you, baby. I bought it at Marshall's.

Hotwire

And what if I wanted to start a family, huh? Who's gonna save the world when you have to stop to breastfeed?

Lactation Lady does it, and she has triplets.

I hope you have a son and he looks like Prock and I can marry him in 19 years.

Hotwire

Okay, I will definitely be calling the police in advance.

Gadget Gal

All right, time to beat up some guys. Oh wait, that sounded bad even for me. All right, let's beat up some men who happen to be gay but we're doing it to stop their plan.

Hotwire

That sounded better.

Prock

Now, describe the container Perfect Man was trapped in.

Hotwire

About eight feet tall, window pane on the front, cold to the touch.

Muscleman

Sounds like my ex-wife.

Concierge

You don't have an ex-wife.