Gadget Gal quotes from The Awesomes

Gadget Gal

Well, I did understudy for Elaine Stritch in Pal Joey.

Gadget Gal

This generation cares too much about fun. In my day, fun was not having polio.

Gadget Gal

Ew, fish penises. It's like a Ukrainian delicatessen.

Gadget Gal

(singing) They want us gone, what do I care? These Frogs can kiss my derriere.

Gadget Gal

The best way to get over one man is to get under another one or in front of him, however it works with you fellows.

Gadget Gal

(entering a gay club) Dear God, it looks like Walt Disney threw up all over the Copacabana.

Muscleman

Don't worry about the plan, people. We are the new Awesomes, led by our fearless leader, Professor Doctor. A brain as big as Baltimore and brass cajones to match. What do we do, Prock?

Gadget Gal

Wow. Look at him go.

Muscleman

Yeah, you got to be a little impressed at how fast he can run. Nice form, buddy!

Gadget Gal

My body may have been dosed with a reverse-aging ray, turning me into this hot tamale, but my bladder still thinks I'm 80 years old.

Hotwire

Oh, I'll go with you. Some girl time.

Gadget Gal

I don't do that, Hotwire. I've always been pee-shy since the Korean War! Those sneaky little fellows always liked to grab a look.

Hotwire

Oh, no no, I wouldn't...

Gadget Gal

Flying solo!

Gadget Gal

How's it going there, Tom Boy?

I'm just peachy, Gadget Gal. You?

Gadget Gal

Can't complain.

Umm, out for a stroll?

Gadget Gal

Headed for the little girl's room.

Well, you may get a few breaks, but one of them won't be a pee break.

Gadget Gal

Classy.

I try.

Gadget Gal

Try harder.

I will.

Gadget Gal

Big talk.

It ain't talk.

Gadget Gal

Funny, cause that's all you're doing.

I'm not... wait, sorry, I lost the thread there. Wait, "All I'm doing is..."

Gadget Gal

"Talking."

Got it, thank you. Talk is cheap.

Gadget Gal

And you're a cheap date, sister.

Heh, if that ain't the kettle on Mamie Eisenhower.

Gadget Gal

You're a nickel a dance, Mary.

More like a dime.

Concierge

Good lord, they fight so boring.

Gadget Gal

Oh, you don't worry about me, dolly. You worry about Captain Butchpants over there.

My name is Tom Boy. I haven't gone by Captain Butchpants since the 70s. Goddamn feminists.

Gadget Gal

Boy, you Orientals are strict.

Hey!

Gadget Gal

What? It's not like I called them cat-eaters.

Hey!

Gadget Gal

Oh, they eat cats and I'm the monster.

Concierge

For what it's worth, she's not actually racist for her age.

Impresario

I'm pretty sure she is.

Concierge

Shhh.

Gadget Gal

I loathe to use the "N" word...

Don't!

Gadget Gal

I hate ninjas.

Ohhh...

We are... the Astoundings.

Impresario

Astoundings? Shouldn't you have, like, a kind of an opposite name, like *bleep*?

Gadget Gal

*bleep* works for me.

Watch that mouth, Dorothy. You ain't in Kansas anymore.

Gadget Gal

No, but we did find ourselves a witch.

Muscleman

So which Earth is this? Earth 2?

Concierge

No, it's opposites. Which means this is Earth 4. Earth 2 is where everybody is really fat.

Frantic

What's Earth 3?

Concierge

Earth 3 is run by apes.

Gadget Gal

I thought Earth 3 was Nazis.

Concierge

It was, then the apes went to war with the Nazis and took over.

Impresario

Way to go, apes!

Muscleman

I would have really liked to see the Nazi-ape war.

Frantic

Holy crap! He looks just like Tom Boy, your arch-enemy who's a lesbian and totally in love with you except on this Earth, he's a crazy hot dude.

Gadget Gal

Mama gives Earth 4 a perfect 10.

Handy Man

Say there, sister. Would you be insulted if a fella would...?

Gadget Gal

Make passionate love to me over by the sanitary sewer overflow juncture? I'd be honored.

Tim

I wish I hadn't heard any of that.