Fox quotes from The Animals of Farthing Wood

Fox

How can a creature as small as Toad manage to be so noisy?

Fox

Oh dear... I'd forgotten pheasants are not very good at flying! We'll be here till Christmas at this rate!

Fox

[realizing the hounds are now going after Vixen] I've failed her!

Fox

[realizing that the animals have got separated after escaping from the church] We've lost them!

Fox

It's good to feel everyone's behind me. But this is my battle and I've got to fight it alone. Time I put a stop to this Scarface, before he puts a stop to us.

Fox

(To Weasel and Measley) Take Adder a message from me. Tell her Fox says "He who rids me of the blue fox will be doing me a great service". Got it?

Fox

I wish Badger was here. The young just don't seem to value the oath as we did!

Fox

Scarface will find the Farthing animals have not lost their courage!

Badger

Isn't an assembly a bit drastic?

Fox

[walks up to a small ridge near the trickle] If this isn't drastic...

Mr. Hedgehog

Hmm, exactly.

Fox

Then what is?

Badger

But a Farthing Wood assembly, Fox? Why we haven't had one of those in years. They're only ever called if there's an.... er...

Weasel

Emergency?

Fox

And I call this an emergency.

Weasel

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Fox

Not to put too fine a point on it, without water, we animals of Farthing Wood are hardly likely to survive.

Mr. Hedgehog

Hmm, here, here.

Weasel

I mean, if you wouldn't call that an emergency, what would you call it? Alice? Ahahaha!

Badger

[unimpressed] Very funny.

Mr. Hedgehog

Erm, but if you don't mind my asking, what'll having some assembly achieve?

Mrs. Rabbit

What can we mere animals do?

Fox

I'm not sure yet. But I reckon that if you and me and Badger and Weasel can get every single member of our woodland community together fast, then maybe one of us might come up with...

Mrs. Rabbit

A solution?

Weasel

[clapping] Clever clogs, clever clogs!

Badger

Now, friends. Adder. And fellow woodlanders.

What's this all about?

Owl

Do get on with it!

Badger

You don't need me to underline the gravity of our situation.

Fox

We're all aware that since the giant Earth movers have moved in...

Badger

Life in Farthing Wood has become steadily more and more hazardous. For one and all.

Toad

I'm still here!

Badger

First they devastated our habitat. And now...

Kestrel

They've even filled in our pond. Filled in our pond.

Badger

Yet still we've hung in there.

Kestrel

Blooded but unbowed.

Badger

But is there any way out from this dilemma?

Owl

Where indeed is the solution to our problems?

Toad

[arrives in through the roof] I'm here maties! I'm coming!

Badger

Toad!

Owl

Your powers of deduction are admirable, Badger.

Toad

Ha-ha, same old Owlie!

Owl

Same old Toad.

Toad

Bet you never thought you'd see me again, eh, maties? [Owl turns back]

Adder

We were ssso ssaddened you sssnuffed it.

Mrs. Rabbit

But where have you been?

Toad

Where haven't I been more like. Taken away against my will, weren't I? Captivated I were and took off in a jam jar. But all the time I were away, I kept saying myself Toad, you must get, home. It was the thought that you lot kept me going.

Adder

Fancy.

Toad

Must get back to my maties I kept thinking. Must get back to my...

Mole

Pond?

Toad

Exactly.

Badger

Speaking of which, um, I'm afraid.

Toad

What?

Owl

There's some rather bad news, Toad.

Mole

It's your p-p-po-p-p-pond, Toad. You see?

Owl

It's been filled in.

Toad

What?! [faints]

Owl

You see, Toad, you have to understand there have been a great many changes. [Toad gets up] While you've been away...

Toad

But my pond!

Fox

Gone completely I'm afraid.

Toad

And the newts' puddle? [He sees the newts sob together] And the stream?

Fox

Just a muddy trickle now, which is why we've called this assembly, Toad.

Toad

[bursts into tears] Oh!

Owl

If we ever get to hold this meeting.

Fox

You see, we've got to face facts, old son. As a community, we're all but finished here. Man and his machines have seen to that.

Toad

[angrily pounding his fists] Don't talk to me about those machines! I know all about them!

Fox

In fact, it must be obvious to everyone here that...

Owl

...If we don't find a new watering hole within the next few days...

Fox

...Then we are going to be in the very worst kind of distress. If you know what I mean. [the animals look worried]

Mole

Could we try... digging water?

Owl

In earth as dry as a biscuit? Don't be silly, Mole.

Toad

I knows the place that we could go to.

Owl

Who asked you?

Toad

It's a great little place, a wonderful place.

Badger

Poor old Toad. Obviously rambling poor fella.

Toad

Purpose-built for animals like us.

Mole

Was it really, Toad?

Toad

They calls it 'White Deer Park', Moley.

Mole

White Deer?

Toad

'Tis a nature preserve.

Mole

Is it really?

Toad

It's a place where all wild creatures are protected by humans.

Weasel

Ahahahahaha! Hahahahaha!

Owl

If such a place existed, I would know about it.

Mole

Did you come upon this Deer White place on your travels, Toad?

Toad

That I did, Moley. Hur!

Mole

Deer White Park, eh?

Badger

Hmm. White Deer Park.

Owl

Never heard of either of them.

Toad

Well, I know it well and nowhere's better I reckon.

Badger

Well, Fox? What do you think?

Fox

Have we any alternative?

Badger

Humm, quite. Then White Deer Park it is, everyone.

Owl

What?!

Fox

All those in favour.

Aye!

Toad

Hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hur!

Badger

Well done, Toad.

[Weasel claps her paws] Hooray!

Badger

My late father remembered it, when those men first started cutting down our trees... to build their brick and glass boxes. It was called the Oath of Mutual Protection.

Oath of Mutual Protection?

Badger

It's a promise not to...

Fox

... Frighten?

Owl

... Terrorize or consume one another.

Adder

Not... eat... one another? Who's the sssnake supposed to survive?

Badger

Quite. So if you'll all raise your right paw... [Owl looks at her wings] or claw. [Owl raises her right wing] And repeat after me. I, name of animal.

Toad

I, name of animal.

Badger

No! I, Toad! Or um...

I, Rabbit.

Badger

Yes.

I, [Fieldmouse, Rabbit, Hare, Squirrel]

Badger

Do solemly swear...

Do solemly swear...

Badger

Not to swallow anybody.

Not to swallow anybody.

Adder

Not to swallow... [whispering] Except when nobody's looking.

Badger

...While on route to this place of Toad's. Toad will obviously be our guide on your journey.

Toad

And, leader!

Badger

Um, just guide, I think, Toad. But, Toad is right. We will need a leader. Someone we can look up to. Someone cunning and courageous and...

Weasel

Preferably not a snake? Ahahahaha! [Everyone laughs, except Adder who glares at Weasel] Joking! [gulps]

Badger

I therefore nominate... Fox, to be our leader.

Fox?

Mr. Hare

Huh?! Are you off your trolley?!

Why Fox?

Fox

Thanks a bundle, Badger.

[scared] Fox? But why Fox?

Badger

No, no, no, no, Fox has all the right qualities, Hare. He's an experienced traveler, er, roams far and wide over all sorts of terrain and he's used to scavenging.

Owl

Huh!

Badger

Oh, don't be like that, Owl. We can't all be leader. Now, I'm sure we've got lots of things to do before we leave [Rabbit, Hedgehog, Fieldmouse and Squirrel leave], eating our last few berries and, er, cleaning our fur coats. So just don't forget... midnight!

Fox

We meet by the Great Beech of midnight.

Midnight! Midnight! Midnight at the Great Beech! Midnight at the Great Beech!

Mr. Pheasant

It's a nightmare!

Mrs. Pheasant

Yes, dear.

Mr. Pheasant

How would they like it if they were hunted all the time? They'd not be singing and dancing then!

Mrs. Pheasant

No, dear.

Mr. Pheasant

I'll be a sitting target!

Mrs. Pheasant

I'll do my best to look after you.

Mr. Pheasant

You? What good are you?!

Badger

Twenty three, twenty four, twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine...

Fox

Are we all here, Badger?

Badger

[sighs] Afraid not, Fox. Mole is missing.

Adder

Let's do ourselves a favor and give him the slip. Mole's slow, stupid and tasteless!

Badger

He's better company than you any day, Adder! We cannot leave without Mole.

Fox

Sorry, Badger. There's no time to waste. We're going now. [Adder chuckles]

Badger

Well, you go on then. Mole and I will catch up with you. [leaves to find Mole]

Fox

Alright, everyone, we're moving off.

We're going to be alright... [Kestrel calls] One adventure can't wait. Hooray! Hooray!

Fox

Toad, take the lead. And remember, we're all relying on you.

Toad

Righto, matey! [hops]

[wails] Water!

Owl

It seems that some of us can scarcely put one foot in front of the other. The newts won't last the night.

Fox

Only you can find water in the dark, Owl.

Owl

True. I shall fly ahead. Rely on me!

Mrs Rabbit

Good luck, Owl.

Fox

[thinking] Luck's something we're all going to need.

Mrs. Rabbit

Don't panic! Those newts are on their last legs!

Adder

Lucky they've got any!

Mrs. Rabbit

[checks up on the newts] What's wrong?

Our baby's dying.

If we don't find water soon, we'll all die.

I can face it! Tell me, are we all going to die, Fox?

Weasel

Probably! Ahahahaha! Want to take bets on it?

Mr. Hare

Perhaps we should go back.

Mrs. Hare

Do you think we should?

Fox

No one's going back. There's nothing to go back for.