Mrs. Pheasant quotes from The Animals of Farthing Wood

Mr. Pheasant

Not late, are we, Badger? Only, you know what the females are like. Takes so long to get ready, eh?

Mrs. Pheasant

It's always my fault.

Mr. Pheasant

Of course.

Badger

Now, are we all here?

Adder

Not lassst, am I, Badger?

Badger

Well someone has to be, Adder. Just follow the glow worms and don't eat!

Adder

Ssshucks! I was looking forward to a few glow worms!

Mr. Pheasant

It's a nightmare!

Mrs. Pheasant

Yes, dear.

Mr. Pheasant

How would they like it if they were hunted all the time? They'd not be singing and dancing then!

Mrs. Pheasant

No, dear.

Mr. Pheasant

I'll be a sitting target!

Mrs. Pheasant

I'll do my best to look after you.

Mr. Pheasant

You? What good are you?!

Badger

Twenty three, twenty four, twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine...

Fox

Are we all here, Badger?

Badger

[sighs] Afraid not, Fox. Mole is missing.

Adder

Let's do ourselves a favor and give him the slip. Mole's slow, stupid and tasteless!

Badger

He's better company than you any day, Adder! We cannot leave without Mole.

Fox

Sorry, Badger. There's no time to waste. We're going now. [Adder chuckles]

Badger

Well, you go on then. Mole and I will catch up with you. [leaves to find Mole]

Fox

Alright, everyone, we're moving off.

We're going to be alright... [Kestrel calls] One adventure can't wait. Hooray! Hooray!

Fox

Toad, take the lead. And remember, we're all relying on you.

Toad

Righto, matey! [hops]

[wails] Water!

Owl

It seems that some of us can scarcely put one foot in front of the other. The newts won't last the night.

Fox

Only you can find water in the dark, Owl.

Owl

True. I shall fly ahead. Rely on me!

Mrs Rabbit

Good luck, Owl.

Fox

[thinking] Luck's something we're all going to need.

Mrs. Pheasant

Wake up, dear.

Mr. Pheasant

[startled] DON'T SHOOT!!!

Mrs. Pheasant

Time to go, dear.

Do stop snoring dear.

Mr. Hedgehog

Me? I don't snore.

That's what you always say, but I think your snores are positively earth shattering.

Mr. Pheasant

I say! It's a pheasant shoot!

Mrs. Pheasant

For once, I have to admit you're right, dear.

Mr. Pheasant

"For once"?!

Fox

Throw that away! It might be dangerous!

Weasel

[shocked] Oops!

Mrs. Pheasant

Are you alright, dear?

Mr. Pheasant

I'll never be able to turn my back on anyone again! [sobs]

Mrs. Pheasant

That'll be a nice change.

Fox

Is that all you're worried about?!

Mr. Pheasant

When you've been shot at as often as I have, Fox, you realize nothing's more important than one's personal dignity!

Fox

The quicker we're out of here, the better! Get into single file, everybody, and don't step out of line! This is dangerous country! Toad? Where's Toad?!

Owl

Too tired to move.

Fox

Take a rest, everybody. I'm going back for him.

Mr. Pheasant

[wakes up] DAAAAAH!!!

Mrs. Pheasant

There. That's better now.

Mr. Pheasant

What have you done?!

Mrs. Pheasant

I've just added a stray feather to your tail, dear, to hide the burnt bits. Oooh, it do look lovely!

Mr. Pheasant

[suspicious] What kind of feather?

Mrs. Pheasant

Well, I think it's one of Owl's actually--

Mr. Pheasant

THAT DOWDY FEMALE?!

Owl

Beggars can't be choosers, Pheasant.

Kestrel

You should be grateful.

Mr. Pheasant

Grateful?! What?! [To his wife, Mrs. Pheasant] To have her feathers in my beautiful tail?! Stupid bird! Take it out at once!

Mr. Pheasant

As if any other creature had feathers anywhere near as handsome as mine!

Mrs. Pheasant

[sadly] I was only doing my best.

Fox

Peace... Perfect peace.

Kestrel

[to the Pheasants] Stop squabbling! Can't you see Fox is tired? And look at all the others. Welcome, Badger.

Badger

Thank you, Kestrel. Not much like home, is it?

Owl

Any boat hole in a storm.

Fox

You never said a truer word, Owl. Personally, I'm just glad to get out of the wet.