Now, friends. Adder. And fellow woodlanders.
EEveryone
What's this all about?
You don't need me to underline the gravity of our situation.
We're all aware that since the giant Earth movers have moved in...
Life in Farthing Wood has become steadily more and more hazardous. For one and all.
[Outside, a big rock moves and Toad climbs out of the ground]
ToadI'm still here!
First they devastated our habitat. And now...
They've even filled in our pond. Filled in our pond.
Yet still we've hung in there.
But is there any way out from this dilemma?
Where indeed is the solution to our problems?
Toad
[arrives in through the roof] I'm here maties! I'm coming!
Your powers of deduction are admirable, Badger.
Toad
Ha-ha, same old Owlie!
Toad
Bet you never thought you'd see me again, eh, maties? [Owl turns back]
We were ssso ssaddened you sssnuffed it.
Toad
Where haven't I been more like. Taken away against my will, weren't I? Captivated I were and took off in a jam jar. But all the time I were away, I kept saying myself Toad, you must get, home. It was the thought that you lot kept me going.
Toad
Must get back to my maties I kept thinking. Must get back to my...
Toad
Exactly.
Speaking of which, um, I'm afraid.
Toad
What?
There's some rather bad news, Toad.
It's your p-p-po-p-p-pond, Toad. You see?
Toad
What?! [faints]
You see, Toad, you have to understand there have been a great many changes. [Toad gets up] While you've been away...
Toad
But my pond!
Gone completely I'm afraid.
Toad
And the newts' puddle? [He sees the newts sob together] And the stream?
Just a muddy trickle now, which is why we've called this assembly, Toad.
Toad
[bursts into tears] Oh!
If we ever get to hold this meeting.
You see, we've got to face facts, old son. As a community, we're all but finished here. Man and his machines have seen to that.
Toad
[angrily pounding his fists] Don't talk to me about those machines! I know all about them!
In fact, it must be obvious to everyone here that...
...If we don't find a new watering hole within the next few days...
...Then we are going to be in the very worst kind of distress. If you know what I mean. [the animals look worried]
Could we try... digging water?
In earth as dry as a biscuit? Don't be silly, Mole.
Toad
I knows the place that we could go to.
Toad
It's a great little place, a wonderful place.
Poor old Toad. Obviously rambling poor fella.
Toad
Purpose-built for animals like us.
Toad
They calls it 'White Deer Park', Moley.
Toad
'Tis a nature preserve.
Toad
It's a place where all wild creatures are protected by humans.
If such a place existed, I would know about it.
Did you come upon this Deer White place on your travels, Toad?
Toad
That I did, Moley. Hur!
Never heard of either of them.
Toad
Well, I know it well and nowhere's better I reckon.
Well, Fox? What do you think?
Humm, quite. Then White Deer Park it is, everyone.
Toad
Hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hur!
EEveryone
[Weasel claps her paws] Hooray!
My late father remembered it, when those men first started cutting down our trees... to build their brick and glass boxes. It was called the Oath of Mutual Protection.
EEveryone
Oath of Mutual Protection?
... Terrorize or consume one another.
Not... eat... one another? Who's the sssnake supposed to survive?
Quite. So if you'll all raise your right paw... [Owl looks at her wings] or claw. [Owl raises her right wing] And repeat after me. I, name of animal.
Toad
I, name of animal.
EEveryone
I, [Fieldmouse, Rabbit, Hare, Squirrel]
EEveryone
Do solemly swear...
EEveryone
Not to swallow anybody.
Not to swallow... [whispering] Except when nobody's looking.
...While on route to this place of Toad's. Toad will obviously be our guide on your journey.
Toad
And, leader!
Um, just guide, I think, Toad. But, Toad is right. We will need a leader. Someone we can look up to. Someone cunning and courageous and...
Preferably not a snake? Ahahahaha! [Everyone laughs, except Adder who glares at Weasel] Joking! [gulps]
I therefore nominate... Fox, to be our leader.
Huh?! Are you off your trolley?!
[scared] Fox? But why Fox?
No, no, no, no, Fox has all the right qualities, Hare. He's an experienced traveler, er, roams far and wide over all sorts of terrain and he's used to scavenging.
Oh, don't be like that, Owl. We can't all be leader. Now, I'm sure we've got lots of things to do before we leave [Rabbit, Hedgehog, Fieldmouse and Squirrel leave], eating our last few berries and, er, cleaning our fur coats. So just don't forget... midnight!
We meet by the Great Beech of midnight.
EEveryone
Midnight! Midnight! Midnight at the Great Beech! Midnight at the Great Beech!
[Fox, Badger and Adder leave. Then Adder eats one of the glow worms]
How would they like it if they were hunted all the time? They'd not be singing and dancing then!
I'll be a sitting target!
I'll do my best to look after you.
Twenty three, twenty four, twenty five, twenty six, twenty seven, twenty eight, twenty nine...
[sighs] Afraid not, Fox. Mole is missing.
Let's do ourselves a favor and give him the slip. Mole's slow, stupid and tasteless!
[Mole overhears Adder, starts crying and leaves.]
He's better company than you any day, Adder! We cannot leave without Mole.
Sorry, Badger. There's no time to waste. We're going now. [Adder chuckles]
Well, you go on then. Mole and I will catch up with you. [leaves to find Mole]
Alright, everyone, we're moving off.
AAnimals
We're going to be alright... [Kestrel calls] One adventure can't wait. Hooray! Hooray!
Toad, take the lead. And remember, we're all relying on you.
Toad
Righto, matey! [hops]
BNBaby Newt
[wails] Water!
It seems that some of us can scarcely put one foot in front of the other. The newts won't last the night.
Only you can find water in the dark, Owl.
True. I shall fly ahead. Rely on me!
[thinking] Luck's something we're all going to need.
Thisss is going to be interesssting!
Toad
Come on in Adder! Get your feet wet!
Chance would be a fine thing!
Got a bit of a problem Adder? I could get you a drink no trouble! How much is it worth eh?
You scratch my back... I'll scratch yours!
Fair enough. I've been wanting to do this for ages! [She lowers Adder into the pool]
Ssswindler! Shharper! Sneak!
Traveled too far yesterday, Fox.
Toad
Too fast for us small animals, too slow for you.
Hmm, true, Toad. It's very uncomfortable for us larger animals.
Oh dear, it's all my fault. Oh, oh, I'm sorry, Badger.
I didn't mean you were making me uncomfortable, Moley. Go on, eat your worms. It's alright.
[Mole goes back underground.]
You're right, Badger. We can't slow our pace any further. What are we going to do?
I know! What Adder needs is a sting in the tail! [laughs] That'll make her move!
I'll give you a sting in the tail!
[Weasel screams and runs off.]
Some weasels never learn.
[A chain link fence is blocking their way to the quarry]
Toad
It's alright Badger, we can all hop through! Oh... see what you mean, I'd forgotten how big you all were.
That toad is ssso astute.
Would it help if I tunneled underneath?
Moley, what would we do without you?
Die of thirst, I should think!
If Toad's on course, we'll be there for winter.
Footprints in the snow when we go hunting.
And in the spring, our cubs will be safe.
Toad
Course we will, maties! Haha! Not far to go now!
He who risks the lives of many on the word of one will soon learn that words cost little and accomplish nothing.
HMrs. Hedgehog
Come on, dear!
Whatever you do...dearest...don't...curl up!
[Both Mr. and Mrs. Hedgehog are curled up into a ball, and they get run over by a lorry, crushing and killing them.]
[about the hedgehogs] ...She wouldn't leave him.
Toad
Instincts got the better of them. And instincts can be very strong, matey. I should know.
[flying nearby] Kee! Kee!
Everyone else either has been carried or has run over the road.
Or, has been run over! I've got eyes to see!
Those cowering hedgehogs just curled up and died.
Well, I've no desire to commit suicide.
The Animals of Farthing Wood · 294 quotes
