That '70s Show · Season 3
[notices Bob in his driveway] Need something, Bob?
Well, it's a funny thing. The wife and I are taking out a second mortgage on the house. ...Well, that's not the funny part, 'cause we're pretty much destitute.
It's a little bit funny, Bob.
Anyways, I'm looking at the deed to the property, and the map shows that I own a couple feet of your driveway, and a little bit of your garage.
How'd you like to own a little bit of my foot in your ass?
I wouldn't to be quite honest.
It's free!
Take off your pants.
All right!
No! So I can see your tattoo!
I knew that. I think you're really gonna like it. Just don't be mad if it says... "Debbie." [pulls down his pants and shows his tattoo]
Woodstock.
It says "Woodstock"?
No, it's a picture of Snoopy's friend Woodstock! [laughs] You have a little yellow bird on your ass!
What are you doing in Canada?
What're you doing in Canada? [Mounties look at each other]
We're part of an elite high school terrorist team. Strike Force Wisconsin! [Raises hands]
Uh, we just came here to get the beer. And I love Rush. Fly By Night! Ow! [raises arm]
Well, if ham's Canadian bacon, then what the hell do you call bacon?!
Me no speakas English.
What's your business in Canada?
What's your business in Canada? [Mounties look at each other]
We're... getting beer.
Every once in a while, do you ever get an American nickel in your change? [Looks at both mounties in turn]
Me no understando.
What's your reason for coming to Canada, eh?
What's your re-
Mountie #1 Shut up!
Yeah, I'm here to nail Margaret Trudeau.
Been there.
Done that.
Beer. [Pause] Beer! BEER!
Are those snowshoes hard to walk in? They're tennis rackets, aren't they?
Wee foobie dibbie doobie.
Wee foobie...
Dibbie doobie...
Now, Leave Canada Please.
[The boys and Leo walk out, with Leo doing one last retort]
You Leave Canada Please.
[Fez shows off Ted Nugent shirts he printed for 50 dollars but is curious to why he got called out by Hyde for printing TAD NUGENT]
Because the shirt says Tad.
Exactly!
But the A should be an E!
Well, that's not how you spell Tad.
No, that's how you spell Ted.
[realizing his mistake] Ooohhh...
[gets shirt from Fez and dumps it in the bag] These shirts are useless, now Forman's out 50 bucks!
A promise ring is not only a gift from the heart, but it also means more sex and less mouthin' off.
[At the Forman house garage, Eric and Donna talk about their relationship, which has taken a bad turn.]
If we're meant to be together, then we'll end up together.
No. The way we end up together is by saying we'll be together and then...being together.
Eric come on, we're together now. Isn't that enough?
NO! I mean [walks away then faces Donna] I mean, DAMN Donna! If you can see a future for yourself without me, and that doesn't, like, break your heart, then we're not doing what I thought we're doing here and you know what? Maybe we shouldn't even be together at all!
[after short pause] Are you breaking up with me?
Are you giving back that ring?
Yes.
Then, yes. [Donna leaves ring on hood.]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's That '70s Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
