Laurie Forman quotes from That '70s Show

Laurie

But now, I have found my passion: Hair!

Kitty

The musical?

Laurie

No! HAIR! [Laurie grabs a handful of her hair.]

Laurie

I'm going to beauty school!

Kitty

This isn't something you do through the mail, is it?

Laurie

No! It's a real school!

Kitty

Oh. Well... yay!

Red

Congratulations, sweetheart!

Red

Well, Kitty, what do you think?

Kitty

Eh.

Red

Yeah.

Donna

Okay. I'm gonna freak everyone out and tell my ghost story, so go hide in the woods and jump out when I get to the end.

Eric

[in a British accent] You are as wicked as you are gorgeous.

Donna

You know... it really creeps me out being out here after what happened to those kids.

Kelso

What kids?

Donna

A bunch of kids just like us were camping out up here, [turns on flashlight pointed at her face] and they disappeared. And all the police could find were these bloody drag marks that led down to the lake. It was like... it was like something killed them, and then pulled them in.

Fez

Maybe it was the Loch Ness Monster.

Laurie

No, Fez. The Loch Ness Monster's in Africa.

Donna

So the police, like, searched the lake with their sonar and stuff. And when they played back the tapes all they could hear in the background was, like, a whisper.

Kelso

What did it say?

Donna

[scarily; points flashlight at Kelso] "I am the Lady of the Lake. I am the Lady of the Lake." Yeah, and you'll know when she's coming because she screams before she kills. Let's see if we can hear her. [pause] I said, Let's see if we can hear her!

Eric

D–Donna, I'm stuck in a thornbush.

Kelso

I heard her! She's stuck in a thornbush!

Fez

Laurie: well, look who the whore dragged in, herself. May I remind you you're married?

Laurie

Oh, that's okay. The guy from last night was married, too.

Fez

What is your problem?

Red

Oh, are you two at it again? Your green card is on the way. [to Kitty] I thought this marriage was over.

Kitty

Laurie, I gave you fifty dollars last week to go down to the courthouse and file for divorce. What happened?

Laurie

Well, I had to get a new makeup mirror and some wine.

Red

Tomorrow we're going to the courthouse. [Red and Kitty walk away.]

Fez

Hmmmm, the courthouse is across town. I wonder if you can make it all the way there without sleeping with someone?

Laurie

I bet I can make it there without sleeping with you. [Laurie walks away.]

Fez

Bitch.