So where are you guys working anyway? I'm working in the dining room!
DR, nice decent tip potential!
[describing his job title] You are lookin' at the head of Water Sports and Surf Instruction.
FinWhat? That's my job!
Fin
No!
Then it's not your job, [pulls out a letter] I got this in the mail last week!
Fin
[looking at the letter] Okay, there has to be some kind of mistake— [hands the letter to Johnny] they said it was practically guaranteed!
[looking at the letter] Looks legit! They do this all the time, move staff around. You'll get used to it.
Fin
That's so unfair! So what am I supposed to do?
Let me check! [pulls out his radio] Hey boss, just checking the employee posting for Fin McCloud?
Yeah, hold on! [reading the posting] Fin McCloud! Uh, that's housekeeping!
Fin
A maid? No! Oh no! Okay, I don't even clean my own room!
Fin
Who are you?
Your new roommate, Lo! Other room smells like skunk!
Fin
[notices Lo's luggage] That's a lot of stuff! You lugged it all here with you?
I only had to come from the penthouse!
Fin
Oh, wait. You're the Lo whose huge party we spent all day cleaning up after? We didn't get to surf because of you!
Well, that's kind of your job, isn't it?
Fin
How long did you say you'd be staying here?
Not very long! My dad went Outer Limits about my party and is like, trying to teach me a lesson or something. I'm totally cut off! He's actually making me work in the dining room.
Fin
Wow, he's hardcore!
I know, right? So it's cool if I crash here?
Fin
Yeah, sure! Knowing you're being tortured for trashing the place kinda makes me feel better about having to clean it. [Emma sees her door and cries] Hey, what's wrong?
Oh, my room has been declared an environmental hazard.
Fin
Come on; you're officially staying with us.
Really? [sees Lo] Who are you?
Fin
[seeing Emma in her uniform] Oh my gosh, that is so bad!
[about her uniform] I really have to wear this?
[carrying Fin's uniform] It's an authentic wench costume dating back to the 1800s.
Fin
[seeing her uniform] Okay, this is so lame! I'd rather wear the wench thing.
[pulls back the curtain] Consider yourself lucky.
[to Fin] Well, research shows that guests prefer their housekeepers to look neat and respectable. It makes them feel like you won't actually steal their possessions. [Fin gasps]
[coming from the boy's side] This is really itchy!
[spotting Emma] Arr, little wench, fetch me some cola or I'll make ye walk the plank!
[about Reef's uniform] At least I don't look like a preppy little momma's boy.
[Bummer, Broseph and Emma laugh]
She's right, dude; you do.
[seeing Fin in her uniform] Yikes! Now that is bad!
Fin
[about Reef's phone] Do it and you lose it! This is so humiliating!
[sarcastic] Yeah yeah yeah, life's unfair, Daddy doesn't love me, blah blah blah. '[throws the name tags over his shoulder] Here are your name tags; you are required to wear them at all times.
ZZack
[to Broseph] Hey, aren't you the dude who drove the Jeep into the pool last night? That was awesome!
[to Bummer] I have no idea what that guy is talking about, bro.
As your first surf coach, I feel like I should tell you this is not cool, bro.
Fin
The Office is our secret surf spot!
Yeah, it's not for kooks, tourists or cute guys who could probably surf way better than me! (Everyone stares at him) Uh, strike that last comment from the record!
Guys, he's not a kook! Anyway he's just one guy!
SShep
Killer beach, dudes! Um, everything okay?
Fin
Whatever!
Fin
Guess what movie the Kahuna is screening?! Break Point!
You asked him to show it?
Fin
More like bribed: I promised I'd clean his bus.
Wow, you're kind of obsessed with this whole Reef stealing lines thing.
What do you care what he does?
Fin
It's for the good of womankind.
[teasing] Whatever, you totally looove him; you want to marry him and have, like, a hundred of his surfer baaabies!
Fin
What, are you serious? No! He is such a tool: he's like the whole tool shed.
[gasps] You do like him, and you're jealous of that girl Blair!
Fin
I'm so not!
You wanted to kiss him; admit it!
Fin
I'd rather kiss a dead fish!
Um, you're cleaning a bus for him?
Fin
No, I'm doing this because girls shouldn't have put up with cheesiness from guys, especially stolen cheesiness. It's time us girls said no to the cheese. No to the cheese guys!
Wow, that was almost convincing!
Yeah, you definitely like him!
Fin
No way!
Fin
[behind Reef at the movie] Oh! Reef, look! It's Bell's Beach! Hey, didn't you surf there? How did you stay on your board, even when Boardizafa couldn't?
[curtly, sounding unimpressed as Fin grins at him] You're getting some kind of sick enjoyment out of this, aren't you?
Fin
[whispering] You have no idea! [smirks at Reef]
Wait! You knew Break Point was playing tonight, didn't you? [gasps] You got the Kahuna to run it! I am so getting you back for this!
Fin
[mocking] I'm so scaaared! [giggles]
Lo, are you in there? Kelly's looking for you. [sees Fin putting up her uniform] Oh no! Did you get fired?
Fin
Nope, I'm the new surf instructor!
That's great! [notices Fin's worried expression] Isn't it?
Fin
I can't teach! I taught my little my brother how to ride a bike—he's the only one in grade six with a limp!
Come on. You taught me how to nose ride this morning!
Fin
That's different; you're no pressure! What if I drown a guest?
This is the job you came here for! You're a natural! [Fin looks sad] Or maybe Reef's just a much better surfer than you are!
Fin
Yeah, in his dreams! Okay, there's nothing that guy can do that I can't!
Fin
Okay, okay, I can teach surfing too! Thanks, Emma; your lessons are always on the house.
You're wearing your bikini?
Fin
Yeah, I ran out of undies.
Didn't anyone show you the staff laundry hut?
Fin
Yes, but I hate doing laundry. I decided to live my whole life in my bikini!
Eww, that's kind of gross!
Fin
What? It gets clean in the ocean.
Fin
Nice hair, want some scissors?
[after Reef Splashes water on her] Thanks!
Fin
Oh, they've come up with this great new invention; it's called a towel.
Where were you?! Obviously not catching up on your beauty sleep!
[notices a magazine in Fin's hands] Is that the new Stoked Magazine?
Fin
[holding up the magazine] Yes! Blaine Dixie scored the cover.
[takes the magazine] So, what's the big deal?
Fin
It's a big deal because girls almost never score the cover of surf magazines.
That's because they suck compared to guys!
[the girls gasp]
[shows the centerfold page he is looking at] Now, that I would put on the cover!
Fin
Please tell me you'll never procreate! [motions for Lo and Emma] Come on, girls! [they walk off, noses in the air. Johnny runs to catch up with the girls]
Hey, for the record, I think girls are pretty much better at everything.
Aww! See, that's why you'll have a girlfriend!
So you think I'm boyfriend material?
Definitely! [gasps] You should ask Samantha from the golf course out.
[disappointed] Yeah, yeah, I'll do that!
[laughs] So deep in the friend zone!
Listen up, everybody! I got your staff evaluations from yesterday and I have one thing to say! Are you all zombies? Did I accidentally hire the walking dead? [reading e-vals] Four, six, three, seven. Reef, nine out of ten. Very nice. Fin, six.
Yeeaah, I beat you again!
Fin
No way! There was a rock band on my floor; they had a pig roast in the room!
Nine out of ten! Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! I'm the king of the staff evaluations!
I got to say it's encouraging how seriously you're taking guest feedback.
Oh, we're not! I just want to kick her butt! Told you guys rule!
All right, that's enough! You're already late! Out, out, out!
So, you're still mad at me?
Fin
Yeah, until you take back what you said about female surfers!
Hey, just because you can't catch the same waves as I can doesn't mean you're any less of a surfer—oh, wait; it does! (Laughs)
Fin
That's it! Okay, I challenge you to a surf off right now!
I think I hear a toilet calling your name! Fin, come clean me, Fin!
Fin
Scared of getting your butt kicked by a girl?
Hey, I'm laid-back at lunch time and aggressive at crunch time. Bring it!
Fin
You know we'll get a strike!
Fin
Let's do this!
FIN! I need your help! [Fin turns off the vacuum] We have to get the totem back from George and return it to the waterfall so the Haiku Goddess chick doesn't keep cursing me!
Fin
Okay, even you couldn't make that up, come on!
[Reef, Broseph and Fin are in the Penthouse]
Fin
So this is where the princess lives!
Fin
Now remember, don't touch anything... [to Reef] especially you, bad luck boy!
[Broseph touches a button on the remote and brings down a flat screen TV]
It's a 92 inch flat panel HD Plasma Screen [goes to hug the TV] I didn't know they existed! [he hugs the TV and it falls]
Fin
Um, one question, what are we going to do about Bummer? He never leaves! This hotel is like, his life!
Dude needs a vacation—or a girlfriend.
Or maybe just a date. Lo, how's your sweet talkin' skills?
I don't know— [walks over to Reef and starts flirting with him to demonstrate] but your hair is lookin' so good today, handsome!
I think I have a mission for you.
Unacceptable people, unacceptable! Look at these staff evaluation forms! Fin, 7.5 out of 10!
Fin
Come on that's like a B+!
Yeah, I don't know what special school you went to, but a 7.5 means you do better. Reef, 4! Says here, "Needs to spend less time teaching girls mouth to mouth."
Okay, but the girl I was teaching was an 8 out of 10. So by my count, that puts me at an— [counts on his fingers] 9, 10, 11—12 out of 10! Math dude! [high fives Wipeout]
Okay, listen up! From now on, anyone who gets less than an 8 on a staff eval get an automatic strike, and you what three strikes mean!
LFLo, Fin, and Reef
We—are—outta—here.
[Emma enters]
[sarcastic] Oh, I'm sorry. Did I schedule the staff meeting during rubber ducky time?
I'm so sorry sir; there was a line up at the staff showers and I was—
STRIKE one, and let that be a lesson to the rest of you slackers.
No! My perfect employee record!
Oh, that's too bad! By the way, you're out of conditioner.
[sarcastic] Thanks for the heads up! [takes off her towel revealing her hair]
[sighs] I kind of had a boyfriend in Calgary but it didn't work out! He said I was nice! Like a sister nice!
Oh thanks, Johnny! You're so nice like a brother, you know?
Fin
My last boyfriend was all touchy feely! An octopus with fingers!
Too bad for you! My guy's awesome!
Sure, Stone Seabreeze! [they all gasp]
Fin
The Stone Seabreeze?!
The famous singer-surfer!
Fin
Seriously! You and Stone Seabreeze!
Seriously! When have I ever lied to you guys? He's a total sweetie! I meet him last year when he stayed at the resort!
Why had you never told us?
We want to keep on the down low! Stay out of the tabloids!
What's he like? Is he romantic like his songs?
Fin
Is he a killer surfer?
Is he a good kisser? [everyone looks at Broseph] What?
Yes, yes and yes! Come on guys! I don't want to brag about Stonie! It kind of cheapens our thing, you know?
Aww, you call him Stonie.
[being carried on Reef's surfboard] I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead!
[as Johnny goes blank] Dude, dude! [waves his hand in front of Johnny] Dang! Someone get the dude a chillow!
[resort video] And why not try a delicious Wipeout Whale seafood stick! Now with seven percent real seafood!
No food or drinks on the bus! And seatbelts on, and don't touch anything! And no farting! [hears someone fart]
Wow padded foot rest, sweet!
Fin
Whoa the seats recline!
[on the resort video] Welcome to Surfer's Paradise, dudes!
Check it out, it's the new resort video! Bummer looks lamer than usual!
[hears someone open a bag] Stop eating the cashews! They are for resort guest only!
[eating cashews] If they weren't meant to be eaten, why did they put them in easy-to-open packages? Think about it, bro!
It's okay Johnny, everyone needs a little fun sometimes, even you! [puts her hand on his shoulder]
Maybe you're right, I could use a little more fun, yeah! How about we see what these old whale wheels can do!
RSReef's mom
How's my little Leslie?
EFEmma and Fin
Leslie? [both laugh]
Moms, what are you doing all the way out here and why didn't you call first?
RSReef's mom
Well I wanted to surprise you, sweetpea. And look. I brought someone special with me. [pulls out a stuffed animal] Ta-da! You never could sleep without wittle piggy! [Emma and Fin laugh] Are these your friends, honey?
Fin
Nice to meet you. Yes, we're very good friends with Leslie. [Emma and Fin laugh]
Stoked · 44 quotes
