Lo? Lo? LO! [Lo moans] It's amazing, I leave for one day, and you manage to trash the place. [Ty opens the blinds]
LoIt's too bright! [Ty looks out the window, shocked] It was just a little party. It will all be cleaned by the time they get home.
I think you better see this.
Lo
See what? [Ty turns on the television]
MNMale Newscaster
Last night a luxury hotel was turned upside down, as what has been described as an end of the school year party gone awry.
Lo
Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no! [Lo's phone rings; she picks it up]
GGuy
That party last night was—
Lo
Hey. Can't talk right now. Is there any way Dad won't find out about this?
Lo
Your new roommate, Lo! Other room smells like skunk!
[notices Lo's luggage] That's a lot of stuff! You lugged it all here with you?
Lo
I only had to come from the penthouse!
Oh, wait. You're the Lo whose huge party we spent all day cleaning up after? We didn't get to surf because of you!
Lo
Well, that's kind of your job, isn't it?
How long did you say you'd be staying here?
Lo
Not very long! My dad went Outer Limits about my party and is like, trying to teach me a lesson or something. I'm totally cut off! He's actually making me work in the dining room.
Lo
I know, right? So it's cool if I crash here?
Yeah, sure! Knowing you're being tortured for trashing the place kinda makes me feel better about having to clean it. [Emma sees her door and cries] Hey, what's wrong?
Oh, my room has been declared an environmental hazard.
Come on; you're officially staying with us.
Really? [sees Lo] Who are you?
Lo
It's a long story!
Guess what movie the Kahuna is screening?! Break Point!
Lo
You asked him to show it?
More like bribed: I promised I'd clean his bus.
Lo
Wow, you're kind of obsessed with this whole Reef stealing lines thing.
What do you care what he does?
It's for the good of womankind.
Lo
[teasing] Whatever, you totally looove him; you want to marry him and have, like, a hundred of his surfer baaabies!
What, are you serious? No! He is such a tool: he's like the whole tool shed.
[gasps] You do like him, and you're jealous of that girl Blair!
Lo
You wanted to kiss him; admit it!
I'd rather kiss a dead fish!
Um, you're cleaning a bus for him?
No, I'm doing this because girls shouldn't have put up with cheesiness from guys, especially stolen cheesiness. It's time us girls said no to the cheese. No to the cheese guys!
Lo
Wow, that was almost convincing!
Yeah, you definitely like him!
[via megaphone] Attention staff! People, we've got a code red! I've just received word that a very, very, very, very, very important person will staying at the hotel this weekend: none other than the one and only Mr. Stevens! [groms remain silent] Stanley Stevens! Editor of Luxury Vacations Magazine! a.k.a. the world's toughest travel critic! [the groms still have no idea] His review will make or break this! If we get a ten out of ten, it will put this hotel on the map and put me in line for a major promotion! [dances] I got the moves, got the moves yeah! Therefore I order all of you to give Mr. Stevens the absolute best this establishment has to offer—the finest food, the silkiest sheets, the most pristine pool, and a room in the royal suite!
Lo
[whispering] That's the best room in the hotel—after Daddy's penthouse!
For the next 48 hours, we are in V-V-V-V-VIP mode! There will be no slacking off! If you're not on duty, you're helping someone who is! Anyone who messes this up for me is looking at a big fat strike! Any questions?
Can me and Broseph get the weekend off to catch a seriously sick wave?
[using a megaphone] Not a chance, punk! Now people, let's get prepped!
So, how's the ship treating you?
Lo
If this were a real ship, I'd drown myself by now.
Yeah, I wouldn't want to work here either. [he hits the table, knocking over everything]
Reef, I just set that table!
No, not my bird napkins! Those took me a half hour to fold!
I can fold these for you, [folds the napkin into a ball] see?
Lo
She said a bird, not a turd! [exits]
Reef, do you mind if we hang out after our shifts? I want to finish resetting so I can get a surf in.
Yeah, no worries. I should go check on Fin anyway. She's probably dying out there without my expertise!
You're wearing your bikini?
Yeah, I ran out of undies.
Didn't anyone show you the staff laundry hut?
Yes, but I hate doing laundry. I decided to live my whole life in my bikini!
Lo
Eww, that's kind of gross!
What? It gets clean in the ocean.
Nice hair, want some scissors?
Lo
[after Reef Splashes water on her] Thanks!
Oh, they've come up with this great new invention; it's called a towel.
Where were you?! Obviously not catching up on your beauty sleep!
[notices a magazine in Fin's hands] Is that the new Stoked Magazine?
[holding up the magazine] Yes! Blaine Dixie scored the cover.
[takes the magazine] So, what's the big deal?
It's a big deal because girls almost never score the cover of surf magazines.
That's because they suck compared to guys!
[the girls gasp]
[shows the centerfold page he is looking at] Now, that I would put on the cover!
Please tell me you'll never procreate! [motions for Lo and Emma] Come on, girls! [they walk off, noses in the air. Johnny runs to catch up with the girls]
Hey, for the record, I think girls are pretty much better at everything.
Aww! See, that's why you'll have a girlfriend!
So you think I'm boyfriend material?
Definitely! [gasps] You should ask Samantha from the golf course out.
[disappointed] Yeah, yeah, I'll do that!
[laughs] So deep in the friend zone!
Um, one question, what are we going to do about Bummer? He never leaves! This hotel is like, his life!
Dude needs a vacation—or a girlfriend.
Or maybe just a date. Lo, how's your sweet talkin' skills?
Lo
I don't know— [walks over to Reef and starts flirting with him to demonstrate] but your hair is lookin' so good today, handsome!
I think I have a mission for you.
Unacceptable people, unacceptable! Look at these staff evaluation forms! Fin, 7.5 out of 10!
Come on that's like a B+!
Yeah, I don't know what special school you went to, but a 7.5 means you do better. Reef, 4! Says here, "Needs to spend less time teaching girls mouth to mouth."
Okay, but the girl I was teaching was an 8 out of 10. So by my count, that puts me at an— [counts on his fingers] 9, 10, 11—12 out of 10! Math dude! [high fives Wipeout]
Okay, listen up! From now on, anyone who gets less than an 8 on a staff eval get an automatic strike, and you what three strikes mean!
LFLo, Fin, and Reef
We—are—outta—here.
[Emma enters]
[sarcastic] Oh, I'm sorry. Did I schedule the staff meeting during rubber ducky time?
I'm so sorry sir; there was a line up at the staff showers and I was—
STRIKE one, and let that be a lesson to the rest of you slackers.
No! My perfect employee record!
Lo
Oh, that's too bad! By the way, you're out of conditioner.
[sarcastic] Thanks for the heads up! [takes off her towel revealing her hair]
Lo
Morning, family! Hey Daddy, I—
[grabs Lo's arm] Wait! On a grumpy scale of one to ten, your dad's like a fifty this morning!
Lo
Oh, I'm just gonna suck up to him for a minute!
RMr. Ridgemount
[angry] KELLY! I need to talk to you NOW! [Lo hides behind Emma]
I think she's hiding under a counter in the supply closet. [Mr. Ridgemount goes to look for Kelly]
Lo
[laughs and grabs a muffin] Nice one! What's hashing on Daddy's mellow today?
RMrs. Ridgemount
[hands Lo the paper] The list of the top ten surf resorts just came out.
Lo
[reading the paper] Surfer's Paradise came in second! [gasps] Captain Ron's came in first!
RMrs. Ridgemount
Ever since he beat your father in that boat race!
Lo
Regatta, Mom! They've been competing since I was little at everything—tennis, swimming, the stock market, how many kids they have!
RMrs. Ridgemount
That's why we had George!
Lo
Every year for the last eight years, we've been number one on that list.
RMrs. Ridgemount
Too bad this isn't a way to stick it to Captain Ron!
Lo
I might have a way! The Staff Tandem Surf Contest is usually right after the top ten, isn't it?
RMrs. Ridgemount
Oh, don't remind him of that, honey!
Lo
Don't worry, Mom! We're going to win it this year and I'm gonna make sure of it. Eww! This has, like, no blueberries!
Fin, I said I was sorry! I didn't mean to drop you like that; I swear that I had you! [Fin tries to choke Reef] As soon as you have the use of both arms again, I promise to take you out for an awesome date in town. That was not good!
I've never seen a shoulder at that angle before! She can scratch her own back so that's a bonus!
I'm so not getting anywhere with her!
Lo
Ya think? Dislocating a girl's shoulder is definitely not the way to impress her! Now what are we going to do?
TTuna
[laughs snidely] It takes two to tandem, bra! You can send that trophy over anytime, later!
Lo
We're not disqualifying ourselves! We'll have a replacement by Saturday and they'll be awesome! [to Reef] Okay, we have to find another girl! I'd do it but I'm ineligible, plus I need both my arms to dry my hair.
Emma can barely surf on her own and Kelly doesn't surf at all!
For the love of wax, isn't there one single female at this hotel who can surf?
RRosie
I'll do it! I used to be quite the board rider in my day.
Well, it was a good dream!
I can't believe I dropped her!
Lo
[sighs] I was so close!
[sighs] I kind of had a boyfriend in Calgary but it didn't work out! He said I was nice! Like a sister nice!
Oh thanks, Johnny! You're so nice like a brother, you know?
My last boyfriend was all touchy feely! An octopus with fingers!
Lo
Too bad for you! My guy's awesome!
Lo
Sure, Stone Seabreeze! [they all gasp]
The famous singer-surfer!
Lo
So you heard of him?
Seriously! You and Stone Seabreeze!
Lo
Seriously! When have I ever lied to you guys? He's a total sweetie! I meet him last year when he stayed at the resort!
Why had you never told us?
Lo
We want to keep on the down low! Stay out of the tabloids!
What's he like? Is he romantic like his songs?
Is he a good kisser? [everyone looks at Broseph] What?
Lo
Yes, yes and yes! Come on guys! I don't want to brag about Stonie! It kind of cheapens our thing, you know?
Aww, you call him Stonie.
[to himself in the mirror] Who's a sexy betty? Oh yeah, I'm a sexy betty! [to Lo] Uh, it's not what it looks like.
Lo
You're dressing like a girl to beat Fin in the Battle of the Betties!
Okay, it's exactly what it looks like.
Lo
You need to definitely work on your look, even a blind judge wouldn't think those were real. [shows Reef's uneven chest]
Whatever, I'm just as hot a girl as I am a guy, see? [a ball pops out from Reef's top]
Lo
Oh sweetie, no beauty and no brains! Come on, time for a man makeover.
[about his look] That's too much eye liner.
Lo
No it's not, you look good.
I want to look classy good, not cheap good! [applies some more eyeliner] Now, let's check out some swim wear. [going through Lo's locker for swimwear] No, no, no, absolutely not, [pulls out a red swimsuit] here it is.
Lo
No way, that's one of my faves.
Come on, I'll give it back.
Lo
Eww, like I'd wear it again after it held your junk!
After I win, I will pay double what they cost.
Lo
You better win!
[looking in the mirror] Sandy Beaches has never lost.
Lo
Now you're just creeping me out.
You have to promise to keep this quiet, I just became strikeless!
Because you're about to run her over!
Lo
Anyone going to the beach bash!
Okay! [using the external speakers] You can come too, but you have to stop doing that thing with your thumbs!
Lo
Eeee!
[Broseph knocks on the window]
Huh! [sees Broseph] I guess one more can't hurt! [sighs]
Hey since your heading too town! Can we snag a lift?
No, no, no you cannot! I, I can't take this many people on the bus! I shouldn't be taking anyone!
Oh, I get it! It's because we're not strikeless like you! Sorry dudes, guess Mr. Prefect thinks he's better than us!
[gasps] You don't really think that, do you, Johnny?
Lo
Cool, then you can drive all of us!
Fine, just hurry up and get in!
Oh, and what do we have here! [dangles a ticket in front of Johnny] A spare ticket for Johnny to come to the bash with us! Are we buds or what?
They're all hitchhiking to the same place we're going! How lucky is that?
Yep, just call me Mr. Lucky!
[being carried on Reef's surfboard] I'm dead! I'm dead! I'm dead!
[as Johnny goes blank] Dude, dude! [waves his hand in front of Johnny] Dang! Someone get the dude a chillow!
Lo
They're in the bus!
[resort video] And why not try a delicious Wipeout Whale seafood stick! Now with seven percent real seafood!
No food or drinks on the bus! And seatbelts on, and don't touch anything! And no farting! [hears someone fart]
Lo
Wow padded foot rest, sweet!
[on the resort video] Welcome to Surfer's Paradise, dudes!
Check it out, it's the new resort video! Bummer looks lamer than usual!
[hears someone open a bag] Stop eating the cashews! They are for resort guest only!
[eating cashews] If they weren't meant to be eaten, why did they put them in easy-to-open packages? Think about it, bro!
It's okay Johnny, everyone needs a little fun sometimes, even you! [puts her hand on his shoulder]
Maybe you're right, I could use a little more fun, yeah! How about we see what these old whale wheels can do!
Stoked · 44 quotes
