EmmaSo where are you guys working anyway? I'm working in the dining room!
DR, nice decent tip potential!
[describing his job title] You are lookin' at the head of Water Sports and Surf Instruction.
Then it's not your job, [pulls out a letter] I got this in the mail last week!
[looking at the letter] Okay, there has to be some kind of mistake— [hands the letter to Johnny] they said it was practically guaranteed!
[looking at the letter] Looks legit! They do this all the time, move staff around. You'll get used to it.
That's so unfair! So what am I supposed to do?
Let me check! [pulls out his radio] Hey boss, just checking the employee posting for Fin McCloud?
Yeah, hold on! [reading the posting] Fin McCloud! Uh, that's housekeeping!
A maid? No! Oh no! Okay, I don't even clean my own room!
Your new roommate, Lo! Other room smells like skunk!
[notices Lo's luggage] That's a lot of stuff! You lugged it all here with you?
I only had to come from the penthouse!
Oh, wait. You're the Lo whose huge party we spent all day cleaning up after? We didn't get to surf because of you!
Well, that's kind of your job, isn't it?
How long did you say you'd be staying here?
Not very long! My dad went Outer Limits about my party and is like, trying to teach me a lesson or something. I'm totally cut off! He's actually making me work in the dining room.
I know, right? So it's cool if I crash here?
Yeah, sure! Knowing you're being tortured for trashing the place kinda makes me feel better about having to clean it. [Emma sees her door and cries] Hey, what's wrong?
Emma
Oh, my room has been declared an environmental hazard.
Come on; you're officially staying with us.
Emma
Really? [sees Lo] Who are you?
[seeing Emma in her uniform] Oh my gosh, that is so bad!
Emma
[about her uniform] I really have to wear this?
[carrying Fin's uniform] It's an authentic wench costume dating back to the 1800s.
[seeing her uniform] Okay, this is so lame! I'd rather wear the wench thing.
[pulls back the curtain] Consider yourself lucky.
[to Fin] Well, research shows that guests prefer their housekeepers to look neat and respectable. It makes them feel like you won't actually steal their possessions. [Fin gasps]
Emma
Just put it on!
[coming from the boy's side] This is really itchy!
[spotting Emma] Arr, little wench, fetch me some cola or I'll make ye walk the plank!
Emma
[about Reef's uniform] At least I don't look like a preppy little momma's boy.
[Bummer, Broseph and Emma laugh]
She's right, dude; you do.
[seeing Fin in her uniform] Yikes! Now that is bad!
[about Reef's phone] Do it and you lose it! This is so humiliating!
[sarcastic] Yeah yeah yeah, life's unfair, Daddy doesn't love me, blah blah blah. '[throws the name tags over his shoulder] Here are your name tags; you are required to wear them at all times.
ZZack
[to Broseph] Hey, aren't you the dude who drove the Jeep into the pool last night? That was awesome!
[to Bummer] I have no idea what that guy is talking about, bro.
Emma
What's up?
As your first surf coach, I feel like I should tell you this is not cool, bro.
The Office is our secret surf spot!
Yeah, it's not for kooks, tourists or cute guys who could probably surf way better than me! (Everyone stares at him) Uh, strike that last comment from the record!
Emma
Guys, he's not a kook! Anyway he's just one guy!
SShep
Killer beach, dudes! Um, everything okay?
Emma
Guys!
Guess what movie the Kahuna is screening?! Break Point!
You asked him to show it?
More like bribed: I promised I'd clean his bus.
Wow, you're kind of obsessed with this whole Reef stealing lines thing.
Emma
What do you care what he does?
It's for the good of womankind.
[teasing] Whatever, you totally looove him; you want to marry him and have, like, a hundred of his surfer baaabies!
What, are you serious? No! He is such a tool: he's like the whole tool shed.
Emma
[gasps] You do like him, and you're jealous of that girl Blair!
You wanted to kiss him; admit it!
I'd rather kiss a dead fish!
Emma
Um, you're cleaning a bus for him?
No, I'm doing this because girls shouldn't have put up with cheesiness from guys, especially stolen cheesiness. It's time us girls said no to the cheese. No to the cheese guys!
Wow, that was almost convincing!
Emma
Yeah, you definitely like him!
So, how's the ship treating you?
If this were a real ship, I'd drown myself by now.
Yeah, I wouldn't want to work here either. [he hits the table, knocking over everything]
Emma
Reef, I just set that table!
Emma
No, not my bird napkins! Those took me a half hour to fold!
I can fold these for you, [folds the napkin into a ball] see?
She said a bird, not a turd! [exits]
Emma
Reef, do you mind if we hang out after our shifts? I want to finish resetting so I can get a surf in.
Yeah, no worries. I should go check on Fin anyway. She's probably dying out there without my expertise!
Emma
Yeah, probably.
Emma
Lo, are you in there? Kelly's looking for you. [sees Fin putting up her uniform] Oh no! Did you get fired?
Nope, I'm the new surf instructor!
Emma
That's great! [notices Fin's worried expression] Isn't it?
I can't teach! I taught my little my brother how to ride a bike—he's the only one in grade six with a limp!
Emma
Come on. You taught me how to nose ride this morning!
That's different; you're no pressure! What if I drown a guest?
Emma
This is the job you came here for! You're a natural! [Fin looks sad] Or maybe Reef's just a much better surfer than you are!
Yeah, in his dreams! Okay, there's nothing that guy can do that I can't!
Emma
Exactly, hence?
Okay, okay, I can teach surfing too! Thanks, Emma; your lessons are always on the house.
Emma
Sweet!
Emma
You're wearing your bikini?
Yeah, I ran out of undies.
Didn't anyone show you the staff laundry hut?
Yes, but I hate doing laundry. I decided to live my whole life in my bikini!
Eww, that's kind of gross!
What? It gets clean in the ocean.
Nice hair, want some scissors?
[after Reef Splashes water on her] Thanks!
Oh, they've come up with this great new invention; it's called a towel.
Where were you?! Obviously not catching up on your beauty sleep!
[notices a magazine in Fin's hands] Is that the new Stoked Magazine?
[holding up the magazine] Yes! Blaine Dixie scored the cover.
[takes the magazine] So, what's the big deal?
It's a big deal because girls almost never score the cover of surf magazines.
Emma
It's so not right!
That's because they suck compared to guys!
[the girls gasp]
[shows the centerfold page he is looking at] Now, that I would put on the cover!
Please tell me you'll never procreate! [motions for Lo and Emma] Come on, girls! [they walk off, noses in the air. Johnny runs to catch up with the girls]
Hey, for the record, I think girls are pretty much better at everything.
Emma
Aww! See, that's why you'll have a girlfriend!
So you think I'm boyfriend material?
Emma
Definitely! [gasps] You should ask Samantha from the golf course out.
[disappointed] Yeah, yeah, I'll do that!
[laughs] So deep in the friend zone!
Unacceptable people, unacceptable! Look at these staff evaluation forms! Fin, 7.5 out of 10!
Come on that's like a B+!
Yeah, I don't know what special school you went to, but a 7.5 means you do better. Reef, 4! Says here, "Needs to spend less time teaching girls mouth to mouth."
Okay, but the girl I was teaching was an 8 out of 10. So by my count, that puts me at an— [counts on his fingers] 9, 10, 11—12 out of 10! Math dude! [high fives Wipeout]
Okay, listen up! From now on, anyone who gets less than an 8 on a staff eval get an automatic strike, and you what three strikes mean!
LFLo, Fin, and Reef
We—are—outta—here.
[Emma enters]
[sarcastic] Oh, I'm sorry. Did I schedule the staff meeting during rubber ducky time?
Emma
I'm so sorry sir; there was a line up at the staff showers and I was—
STRIKE one, and let that be a lesson to the rest of you slackers.
Emma
No! My perfect employee record!
Oh, that's too bad! By the way, you're out of conditioner.
Emma
[sarcastic] Thanks for the heads up! [takes off her towel revealing her hair]
Dude! [points to a puddle] Water!
[Reef and Broseph drink from the puddle]
Emma
[gasps] No guys, don't drink that—you'll get beaver tail fever!
[after drinking from the puddle]
And she's holding all our food!
Emma
[gasps] Oh no, beaver tail fever!
[in a demonic-sounding voice] Give us the tails!
Emma
Never! [runs off, screams]
[running on all fours after Emma] Beaver Tails!
Beaver Tails! [pops out from a shurb] Beaver Tails!
[still on all fours] Tails! [back at the forest with a demonic-sounding voice] Give us the tails!
Emma
Never!
[stops at a bear]
Gotcha, hand over the beaver tails!
Emma
No!
Morning, family! Hey Daddy, I—
Emma
[grabs Lo's arm] Wait! On a grumpy scale of one to ten, your dad's like a fifty this morning!
Oh, I'm just gonna suck up to him for a minute!
RMr. Ridgemount
[angry] KELLY! I need to talk to you NOW! [Lo hides behind Emma]
Emma
I think she's hiding under a counter in the supply closet. [Mr. Ridgemount goes to look for Kelly]
[laughs and grabs a muffin] Nice one! What's hashing on Daddy's mellow today?
RMrs. Ridgemount
[hands Lo the paper] The list of the top ten surf resorts just came out.
[reading the paper] Surfer's Paradise came in second! [gasps] Captain Ron's came in first!
RMrs. Ridgemount
Ever since he beat your father in that boat race!
Regatta, Mom! They've been competing since I was little at everything—tennis, swimming, the stock market, how many kids they have!
RMrs. Ridgemount
That's why we had George!
Every year for the last eight years, we've been number one on that list.
RMrs. Ridgemount
Too bad this isn't a way to stick it to Captain Ron!
I might have a way! The Staff Tandem Surf Contest is usually right after the top ten, isn't it?
RMrs. Ridgemount
Oh, don't remind him of that, honey!
Don't worry, Mom! We're going to win it this year and I'm gonna make sure of it. Eww! This has, like, no blueberries!
The topic for today's morning psych up—love the guest more than you love yourself. Broseph?
If a guest asked you to use your hand to blow their nose, what do you do?
Wrong! You say, "Here you go, sir. Do you prefer my left or my right?" Emma! If a guest asked asked you to bob for apples in the lobby toilet, what do you say?
Emma
"Eww!"
Wrong! You say, "Madam, would you like me to Macintosh or Golden Delicious?" [laughs; sees Wipeout trying to get a bee] Oh, I'm sorry. Am I disturbing you? [Wipeout shakes his head] Remember, you are here for one reason and one reason only.
To ride the most Quantum Epic off the Richter waves?
Wrong! To serve the guest and make their stay the best ever anywhere!
Six in one, half dozen of the other.
Emma
[sighs] I kind of had a boyfriend in Calgary but it didn't work out! He said I was nice! Like a sister nice!
Emma
Oh thanks, Johnny! You're so nice like a brother, you know?
My last boyfriend was all touchy feely! An octopus with fingers!
Too bad for you! My guy's awesome!
Emma
You have a guy?
Sure, Stone Seabreeze! [they all gasp]
Emma
The famous singer!
The famous singer-surfer!
Seriously! You and Stone Seabreeze!
Seriously! When have I ever lied to you guys? He's a total sweetie! I meet him last year when he stayed at the resort!
Why had you never told us?
We want to keep on the down low! Stay out of the tabloids!
Emma
What's he like? Is he romantic like his songs?
Is he a good kisser? [everyone looks at Broseph] What?
Yes, yes and yes! Come on guys! I don't want to brag about Stonie! It kind of cheapens our thing, you know?
Emma
Aww, you call him Stonie.
Hey bro, how come Bummer doesn't want us to play frisbee inside? [throws the frisbee to Broseph]
Huh, can't remember, bro. [throws frisbee]
[frisbee hits a female guest]
FTFemale Teen
Ow, my nose! [covering her nose] Now I'll never be a teen model.
Come on, it doesn't look so bad. [shows Reef her nose] Eww, how do you feel about telemarketing? [female teen runs away crying] Go long! [throws frisbee to Broseph until it hits Emma]
Emma
[after getting hit by the frisbee] Ow!
[concerned] Emma, are you okay?
Emma
I'm better than okay, I'm 10 out of 10!
Got that right, betty! [makes a gesture]
You have to promise to keep this quiet, I just became strikeless!
Emma
We may have to tell Lo!
Emma
Because you're about to run her over!
Anyone going to the beach bash!
Okay! [using the external speakers] You can come too, but you have to stop doing that thing with your thumbs!
[Broseph knocks on the window]
Huh! [sees Broseph] I guess one more can't hurt! [sighs]
Hey since your heading too town! Can we snag a lift?
No, no, no you cannot! I, I can't take this many people on the bus! I shouldn't be taking anyone!
Oh, I get it! It's because we're not strikeless like you! Sorry dudes, guess Mr. Prefect thinks he's better than us!
Emma
[gasps] You don't really think that, do you, Johnny?
Cool, then you can drive all of us!
Fine, just hurry up and get in!
Oh, and what do we have here! [dangles a ticket in front of Johnny] A spare ticket for Johnny to come to the bash with us! Are we buds or what?
Emma
They're all hitchhiking to the same place we're going! How lucky is that?
Yep, just call me Mr. Lucky!
Stoked · 44 quotes
